Parents with two kids: How much work is it?

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: How much work was it/is it?
    Less than twice the work : (4 votes)
    29 %
    Twice the work : (0 votes)
    More than twice the work : (10 votes)
    71 %
  • Post # 2
    430 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    My daughters are two years apart so my first was still in diapers when the second was born.  Having a toddler is a lot of work anyway so for me personally having a second child wasnt as bad as everyone said because all the things that make it stressful like the lack of sleep diaper changing and bathing you already are used to doing because you have a little one that your already doing it for.  Yes youre doing it double time but now my girls are 12 and 10 and I’m glad I got the baby years knocked out at the same time because the small gap in age also means your baby stuff won’t get too old to use later.  That’s my personal experience and I work 40 hrs per week.

    Post # 3
    6671 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    When I was expecting my second child, my co-worker told me “one is one, and two is four”. And I think she was right!

    Post # 4
    2051 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

    I’m just commenting to follow. We are hoping to have ours 2-3 years apart. DH and I are far apart in age to our siblings so we can’t really ask our parents for advice on that one. 🙂

    Post # 5
    4043 posts
    Honey bee

    sept22insf:  Just commenting to follow. 

    We don’t currently have any children. We did talk to a couple recently who has a 1 and a 3 year old. The mother stays home and she said the change was very drastic for her and stressful. When she wanted to lay down and cuddle with her newborn, she still had a toddler that needed just as much attention. 

    DH only wants one child and I think I might want two children. But then we I look at the costs and the demands on time, I tend to lean back toward one like DH. I just honestly don’t know that many single children and I grew up with two siblings. So I still contemplate having two children.

    Post # 6
    3437 posts
    Sugar bee

    sept22insf:  Commenting to follow as well.  While my husband and I pretty positive we just want our daughter, I do realize the benefits of siblings (he wasn’t an only child and neither was most of our familes, but I was).  But not too sure I like the phrase of one is one, two is four.

    Post # 7
    134 posts
    Blushing bee

    Ha it’s like 4x the work and I’m a SAHM. My sons are 2 1/2 yrs apart and I was actually able to breast feed/pump for my 2nd. BUT I was also potty training my oldest. NIGHTMARE!!! Lol but we’ve made it through it!! There are “out of my mind/I just want to roll into a ball and cry all night and night days. And they aren’t always few and far between and I still have those days. My boys are now 4 yrs and 20 mths old. 

    When my youngest was 6-8 mths old I agreed to take on my (then) approx 14 mth old niece all day, 740-620). During her time here, I decided I wanted to start getting my son ready for JK and start a toddler “curriculum” for my niece, have themed crafts, etc for them to do during the day. her curriculum was more like comparing stuff over and over again (same phrases/comparison for a two week period then switch), sign language and ges for gross motor skills. It was all a lot of fun for them and me. 

    There were crazy stressful days/weeks With the three of them. Her parents eventually had another baby so now she’s home with her mom. When she left I realized how crazy it was when my niece was here because I suuddenly had all this extra time. I guess just putting out “fires” throughout the day and other things just ate up so much time without me realizing it. 

    Anyway, my point to that story about watching my niece is that extra kids will ALWAYS be more work than with less kids. But we adjust, rearrange and adapt and soon enough, you won’t really notice it. Some days you will have energy to get everything done and some days you won’t, and that’s ok. Some days you may cry and others you will laugh.  I would never trade away the close time I got to hang out with my niece and watch her grow through that year. And as much more wrk I do throughout the day at home with my kids and as angry and upset that I go through sometimes, I look at my boys with so much pride and love and would NEVER change what I gained. I would perhaps have a third if we could, and decide on it. 

    My oldest started school (JK) this month so I’m down to one baby now and it’s so crazy quiet. It’s nice to have this time now to be with my youngest baby alone but we both look forward to that time of day where we go get my oldest from school. 

    The time with your kids is precious and goes by SO SO quickly. Before you know it, your oldest will be gone for 6 or so hrs Monday to Friday and you’ll find you don’t know what to do With yourself and youngest lol. 

    Sorry, this kind of got long quickly. Good luck with your 2nd, wishing all goes well and healthy for you guys!!

    Post # 9
    6697 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Much, much  less than twice the work in my own experience, and my kids are between two and three years apart. The biggest adjustment by far was from no kids to one.

    From what friends have told me, going from two to three is a bit of a challenge and much more effort  than going from one to two. At that point you really need to be an organized multitasker. 

    Post # 10
    605 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    i’m currenty 5ish weeks pregnant with my second child (my first is 22 months) and this thread is terrifying, hahaha. I guess you’ll always find a way to make things work!

    Post # 11
    162 posts
    Blushing bee

    I don’t have kids yet, but I plan to have more than one and have them as close together as I can!  Reason being, my mom always said the best thing she ever did to make her life easier was to give my sister a sibling–me!  Because with one kid, you are expected to be their sole entertainment.  But with more, they entertain each other.  My sister and I are 1.5 years apart, and we pretty much did all the milestones together.  We were even potty trained at the same time, because I saw what she was doing and wanted to join in 🙂

    Post # 12
    2661 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014


    eeniebeans:  My cousin told me, “One is like none and two is like 10.”  It’s a lot harder.  When they get older and are both in activities, coordination can be a beast!!!!

    That said, I think it is very important for kids to have siblings and I love both my kids.  I am glad I had a second one!

    Post # 13
    2661 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Oh and I got a third one by marriage.  I will say this.  I would never voluntarily have 3.  Someone is always odd man out.  I think 2 is the perfect number.  One is not enough and three is too many!

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