- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2009
Before I get to the issue at hand, I think I need to clarify a few things about the wedding:
– My FI and I met at Purdue University, about 2.5 hours away from my hometown. We are having the wedding at Purdue because we are both finishing school there and it has made planning much, much easier than doing it from afar.
– At first my parents were a little sad the wedding wasn’t going to be at my hometown church, but I have no real connections there anymore and I feel like “home” is at Purdue with the community I’ve developed at my church and school here. After talking it over with my parents and letting it sit for awhile my parents told me they totally understood why I wanted the wedding where I am currently located. They haven’t really been the type of parents who have insisted on doing a bunch of things their way.
– My parents don’t have a solid income right now, but after graduation and the wedding both of us do.
– The FI and I are paying for 95% of the wedding.
– The morning after my wedding, my parents need to drive 3 hours (from their hometown) to Indianapolis to drop my brother off at the airport for a summer camp thing he’s doing.
And so, the wedding and rehearsal dinner are just over a month away already (!!) and the FI and I have started figuring out logistics for everything. His (large) family is packing into his parent’s house, my bridal party + friends are packing into my apartment, and we have a block of hotels checked out for people who want to go there at a really good rate.
My FI and I had been assuming that my parents would be totally exhausted the day of the wedding if they didn’t have a place to stay at Purdue and drove home the night after the rehearsal dinner. So, as part of a gift to my parents we were going to pay for their hotel room/my grandparent’s hotel room for the night so they could stay at Purdue, not have to drive back, and be in town when everyone starts setting up the reception at 9am, and afterwards be able to go back to a hotel to relax an hour or so before the wedding, get dressed, etc. And come see me while I get ready super early in the morning if they wanted to. You know, to just be around for the day? haha
I brought this up with my mom over the phone and she is totally, totally against us paying for a hotel room and she went off on me saying that they would make it work for them and they would drive home after the rehearsal dinner is over the night before (probably finish around 8:30-9pm) and then make the 2.5 hour drive back to Purdue the morning of the wedding. They also have an old dog they are nervous about putting into a kennel because she has health problems and might not make it much longer anyway (I do understand this part, but wish they could ask one of our friends to take care of her for the night). She said they’d just get ready at a McDonald’s or something when they get into town, and that no matter what they will be exhausted so it doesn’t make a difference. Then she sorta made a comment about not having the wedding in my hometown, got really upset and hung up on me.
I hope I am not being ridiculous by wanting my parents and brother to be in town the morning of the wedding and not have to get up super early to come down to Purdue. I tried as hard as I could to be logical as I explained to her that if they didn’t stay overnight in town, it would just add stress to an already stressful day. I’m the first kid to get married and I can’t even fathom how exhausted everyone is going to be by the end of that day.
I don’t know, am I being unreasonable? I know I can’t force them to do anything, but I’m just trying to make it easier for them. Thoughts? :-/