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I just say I'm the designated driver. If you usually take turns with your husband, you could say you lost a bet, and have to be the DD for the next X number of months.
I haven't been TTCing for long, but find the alcohol is a quick way to gain a heck of a lot of weight, so I usually try to stay away from it for the most part. So, you can always say you're dieting and prefer to eat your calories.
@snake: order the glass and have DH drink it here and there. I would put it up to my lips and what not, take little sips when it wasn't the tww, but DH would take huge swigs
You could pretend you're drinking. Have pineapple juice without the Rum, Cranberry Juice without the vodka, Coke without the Jack Daniels... I've done this before when I just didn't feel like drinking and nobody knew the difference.
I'm not TTC quite yet, but I've taken this month off of drinking and I get looks and questions from people. The reason I'm not drinking is because I've had some stomach issues lately and drinking makes it much worse, so I use that as an excuse. I basically say, 'I'm taking XX amount of time off drinking to sort out my stomach issues'. I'll probably use the same excuse in a few months when we're TTC. The designated driver and diet excuses are good too.
I say nip it in the bud now. I had about 4 people close to me notice right away that I wasn't having a beer once I was pregnant. I tried every excuse, but a couple of them started watching me like a hawk and constantly asked. It didn't matter what I told them, they were convinced I was pregnant. I like @faye0314's idea of saying you've been having some stomach issues. I know I had to stop for a while when I was having issues with ulcers a while ago. It's harder to lie once you're actually pregnant.
I have often thought about this. I plan on stopping drinking when we are TTC however, DH's family ALWAYS has a bottle of wine out at every dinner, and my FIL is constantly just pouring glasses without asking. Unfortunately for me, i always drink them LOL.I know it's going to be quite obvious when i stop. How does everyone deal with also not eating certain foods once pregnant? I also come from 2 families who love their cheese, seafood and fish... I feel like even though we plan on not telling them until the 2nd trimester they are going to know right away. I am also a horrible liar, and my SIL's are very curious and loud when they feel like they have something to share LOL.
Maybe i'll just hide for the first trimester and hope no one notices!
Great thread.. have often wondered how you deal with friends and family who are likely to speculate even if you aren't pregnant when you decline a beverage....
I would go with the diet change thing. I do this off and on (we're not ttc) and I'll stop drinking for a month or so here or there, whenever people ask it's beause I'm trying to eat as cleanly as possible or lose a few pounds... I was also training for a few running races a few times and saying "I have an early run planned for tomorrow" (or workout or whatever) usually works as well.
Well personally I would probably still have a glass even if you are TTC. You could just take small sips to please them. You could tell them you are just trying to be more health conscious. I mean I used to drink all the time, and slowly as you get older I just lost the interest. Good luck!
I am worried about this too! We will be TTC starting after our July wedding, and while I don't want to tell people, most of our friends and family already know that we want kids right away, so if I stop drinking (and I'm always drinking socially!) it's going to be really obvious and I just don't want people nagging me about it...I don't expect we'll get pregnant right away and I just don't want people pestering me either!
I had this issue the other night while out to dinner with a vendor. I told one person I worked with who I know I can trust, and she helped me hide it through the night. She drank the wine I ordered and before everyone got there, I ordered a sprite and put a lime in it and told everyone it was a gin and tonic. Making it appear as if you're drinking is a better solution than trying to come up with an excuse as to why you aren't.
I quit drinking a few years ago (unrelated to TTC) and whenever my friends bugged me about it I would say, "I'm just trying to sort some health issues out right now and alcohol makes them worse." I say don't even drink a glass of wine, because one of the PPs made a good point: it is easier to get away with it now when you aren't pregnant. If you get your friends used to this behavior now, hopefully you won't get the "Are you pregnant?" questions later when you really are pregnant but not necessarily comfortable with revealing it yet.
@2PeasinaPod: The pretend gin and tonic is a great idea! I'm stealing this one :)
IMO, the best excuse is diet related. Everyone believes this because most women are always on a diet! Just say you're trying to be good only a few more pounds to go and every bit helps. You can even say something like "Oh I might have a glass of wine later, but I'm really trying to be good tonight!" Second best excuse is that you're hungover.
If you can pull it off, hands down the best deterrant is to drink a mocktail. The only problem with this is, I've been called out before because people have actually asked to smell or taste my drink! If I say I'm sick they say "Oh I'll just smell it then". Then they make a BIG deal about how they don't think there's any alcohol in it! Also, if you're in a situation where the bar is very difficult to access and one person has to take everyone's drink orders then you'll be discovered. In that scenario, you can always order a glass of wine, pretend to take a sip and say you don't like it. Just make sure you're closest to the bar when you say it so no one can jump in and say "Oh I'll order you a different one!"
If you can, fake it. Here are some tricks that worked for me --
(1) Have DH (or a close friend) give you their empty beer bottle. Make sure it's made of dark-colored glass. Re-fill it w/ water and drink it as if it were beer.
(2) Order a virgin cocktail
(3) Hold a glass of wine, and take a fake sip every once in a while. Excuse yourself to the bathroom at some point and dump some of the wine out. Yes, this one is a huge waste, so only do it if you're drinking cheap wine or wine that has been given to you as a freebee.
To be honest, don't worry about it yet. Even when I was PG, my OB okayed the occasional glass of wine or beer. In fact, towards the end, you're actually encouraged to have a light beer to help with milk production. Just drink something light if you're worried about it, or use excuses, but it's really not a big deal. Plus, if you're actively TTC, you'll know that you're PG way earlier than most people, so it's not like you'll be drinking more than a week or two into your PG. I don't advocate getting smashed, but then again, I wouldn't advocate that at any time. Relax. You'll be stressing about things enough when you do get PG; no need to start early :)
And, to the PP who was concerned about the various foods, my OB said something that stuck with me: women who live in cultures where cheeses (feta), fish, etc are commonly eaten have babies every day and they don't stop eating what they love. Did I minimize my exposure to the so-called no no's? Yes, but I didn't beat myself up if I had a craving for a pita covered in feta or a deli sandwich.
@2PeasinaPod: I completely agree with this! People won't be asking to taste your drink. I'm going to a wedding and I'll be drinking cranberry juice and tonic water but if anyone asks it's a cran-vodka.
The drunker they get the less they'll notice, just keep a drink in hand!
@snake: When at friends where wine is abundant I take a glass, have fake sips and just bring it with me to the bathroom with me and dump some out each time.
Fake it! We didn't tell anyone that we were expecting until I was 16 weeks pregnant. I found out at the start of the summer so had lots of get togethers and what not where there was drinking. If I had even uttered the words "I'm not drinking" everyone would have jumped all over me and said I was pregnant and we were NOT ready to tell anyone yet. My husband and I would switch drinks when no one was looking (he ended up drinking quite a bit this summer, lol) or I would take a beer, open it in front of everyone (or order one) and then go to the bathroom with it, dump it and fill the bottle with water. When at a bar, my husband would get me a cranbery and seven up with a lime and tell the bartender to make it look like a cocktail. A lot of times you can get the bartender to help you out with something that looks like a cocktail. If everyone is ordering at the same time, just say you don't know what you feel like having yet and then go to the bar yourself after eveyone has ordered and get something. This way you have to stay "off" rounds so that someone doesn't try to buy you another one. The "I'm not drinking" just doesn't work for everyone so sometimes you have to be creative with it. it kind of became a game for us after a while.
I just started telling people that my tolerance for alcohol seriously started tanking as I got older (after finishing school, etc.). And just commented that I'd feel a buzz after only 1 drink now, and would wake up feeling totally hungover and crappy after a few.
I could always be DD, which is always a good excuse. And sometimes hubby and I would "meet" at the restaurant, so we both had to drive home. Which was again a good excuse for me to have NONE, especially given the previous claims of lowered tolerance :)
So glad I found this thread. I work where we drink very socially and I thought we wouldn't have any more socials until March when I expect to be two months pregnant (I'm waiting to POAS next Friday - very wishful thinking!). BUT, we got a new start so are going out next Thursday for drinks. :( If I don't drink, it will be VERY obvious and no way I can bow out, either. I was planning on doing mocktails, but also love the beer bottle with water. I may just drink a glass of wine VERY slowly (DH won't be happy) and then switch to water beer. Such a pain. DH won't be there or he would be drinking my drinks for me, too.
My DH says, it's nobody's business, but I feel like people are already eyeing my stomach! Maybe I'm just paranoid. lol
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Perhaps one or more of you have experieced this.m My husband and I have decided to start TTC and so I've let up on my social drinking. We see our friends fairly often.. or often enough.. and they are starting to say something about how I only have been drinking water/juice. Not that I'm a heavy drinker but usually when I see them, its over a glass of wine or two. Thing is I'm not trying to share that we are TTC so I'm not sure what to say.
Any pointers?