Post # 1
Hi!! I am just being curius as for how other people solve these issues. My SO has ulcers that he’s had for his whole life, and we can’t kiss or anything (you know what I mean) when he has breakouts, but otherwise we do al the normal stuff. Some people I’ve talked to say I should not even be sleeping in the same bed as him during the breakouts, but we always have and I’m still healthy, but that may be luck?
It kind of sucks though, as kissing is imo one of the most intimate signs of affection. You know, how you can easily have a one night stand witthout love (of course you should still have some standerds) but never kiss or hold hands publicly if you’re not in love.)
Post # 3
I’ve had canker sores all my life as well but have never had any issues with it. It’s been a while in my adult life since I’ve had them (got them really bad as a little kid but have kind of grown out of them I guess), they typically only come up now when I’m really stressed. But when I do get them, no kissing or any other activity of the like for me because it not only has a potential to spread but it HURTS! I started using Debacterol years ago and while it burns like fire, it essentially cauderizes the sore so the pain is gone and the sore is gone in a matter of a day or so after. It’s FANTASTIC! DH gets cold sores every great once in a while but again, we just wait til it’s gone to engage in any physical affection requiring mouths.
As far as sleeping in the same bed?! Umm… NEVER have I ever heard of that being an issue! While I could think of some cartoonish, wayyyy out there scenario of spreading it, I find it extremely unlikely. lol
Post # 4
@redheadedstranger: canker sores (sores inside the mouth on gums or cheeks) are NOT CONTAGIOUS. You can kiss all you want with them (however you may not want to because it hurts)
cold sores (sores outside the mouth on the lips) are very contagious and kissing/ oral activity should be put on hold until the sore is completely healed.
Post # 5
@Laurenskii: Good to know! Like I said, I’ve always refrained in the past simply for the fact that they hurt. lol I knew cold sores were highly contagious but have heard mixed things about canker sores. Thanks for the input!
Post # 6
Hm, I’m not entirely sure what the differences are, but I do know his type of herpes is contagiuos.
My mother who is an extremely overprotective mother (I love her so) and also a doctor said that about the bed. Just like I shouldn’t use his toothbrush etc. I am a molecular biologist, so I get that it is possible, just like if he touched the sore with his finger then my lip, but it just feel too sad to sleep apart so we never bother.
Post # 7
@HopefulCatlover: your title says herpes, but you never said that in your post, so for clarification, you are saying he has herpes right?
if thats the case then yes, generally during outbreaks, you shouldnt share extremely close quarters, but its your decision obviously
Post # 8
Canker sores are not caused by the herpes virus, and are not contageous. They are incredibly painful, but no worries about passing them from person to person.
If he has herpes / cold sores, it is true that kissing, sharing drinks, etc. should be avoided, but I’ve never heard of sleeping in separate beds during a flare-up! That seems a little extreme to me.
Post # 9
@HopefulCatlover: If he has normal cold sores caused by Herpes Type 1, it is not normally a sexually transmitted infection.
Post # 10
I get cold sores, which is not necessarily an STI. I still sleep in the same bed as DH when I get them (I am actually just getting over one), but we do not share anything nor do I kiss him.
Post # 11
@megz06: +1. I am just getting over one too and it’s a doozy. So disgusting, I hate it! My husband always says, “please get your herpe lip away from me.” He’s so romantic!
OP, we sleep in the same bed but don’t kiss or have oral sex. I’d never use his toothbrush anyway but I do use a separate hand and face towel when I have a cold sore.
Post # 12
I think it would be pretty hard to transmit something like that just from sleeping together. I mean unless he’s rubbing his mouth on his pillow and you do it after, it’s pretty unlikely!
Post # 13
@HopefulCatlover: Omg first of all, I misread your username as HopefulCatheter and got kind of creeped out for a bit. Lol, that’s just so weird I had to say it.
Secondly, you need pretty direct contact with a cold sore or viral shedding to get herpes, so sleeping in the same bed would definitely be fine. I would probably also use separate hand/face towels like MrsPanda99 if I were in that situation.
Post # 14
@MissMarple: That’s actually really funny 🙂 hope not too many people do that though… 😛
And yes, thats what I’ve heard and learned, and even if I though I was in any “danger” I still wouldn’t want to sleep in different beds :c
Post # 15
@megz06: @MrsPanda99: I really feel for you. My SO is always complaining how groce he feel during his breakouts and doesn’t even want me to look at him sometimes (although I do anyway oc) even after years of telling him how I DON’T care and that people never seem to notice those things anyway. But I guess I’d be the same. I just hope you all take my word from “at the other side of things” that it doesn’t make you less attractive 🙂 how hard it may be to refrain from kissing (and more 😉 …) it always feels a little extra tingly when we can finally kiss again 😉
Post # 16
Oral herpes are extremely common and many partners are just careful and never pass them to each other. It’s possible to spread it through sheets, but it’s extremely unlikely. Make sure not to share pillow cases or towels or anything while he has an outbreak. I think your mom is being a litte over the top. I assume that he’s very good about being careful when he’s had an outbreak, right? After an outbreak is over it’s good to wash the sheets & towels and toss out his toothbrush and so forth.
If you are really concered, talk to him about taking a supression drug such as Valtrex or Valcyclovir (not sure on spelling, but it’s the generic form of Valtrex). One of the best ways of preventing the spread of cold sores is by supressing outbreaks.