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i think bridal showers are usually at the home of whomever is hosting it.
for bachelorette, i assume many of the bars/clubs in the gaslamp downtown would be fun. for a non-traditional bachelorette, try pitching in with the girls to rent a condo on the beach or along mission bay, then you can have a weekend "getaway" type thing within san diego. you should even try craigslist for vacation rentals and whatnot. you could then even rent jet skis or something and have a ton of fun!
there's also trips to amusement parks (sea world, disneyland, etc).
hey girl!
we are having our engagement party at my FIL's house in Pasadena...For my bachelorette party we are going to Palm Springs! I have no clue about my showers yet. Probably at someone's house. One of my BM's had her bachelorette in Mexico- we drove down and rented a house right on the beach! We stayed in some random town and the rental was really reasonable. It was in a gated community, so it was completely safe. We pretty much just stayed at the house and layed out at the beach. We were definitely not going crazy in TJ or anything. :) And we had like 15 girls, so it was only 40 or 50 bucks a person! Including food & drinks! Let us know what you come up with!
We are having our RD more like rehersal brunch at Barona. That way afterwards people can golf, gamble, or go to the spa.
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I had my bridal shower at my house (pretty standard I think).
My bachelorette party was going to be in Palm Springs but we ended up celebrating here in San Diego. We had dinner at Dussini's downtown (the former Spaghetti Factory) and their food is fantastic. I recommend the Lobster Mac & Cheese and the Scallops 
. They have large tables to accomodate any size party and they have a bar and pool tables on the second floor. After dinner we went to Club Envy at the Ivy Hotel. My MOH and girlfriends all pitched in and we had a V.I.P seating area on the roof of the Ivy hotel and it was beautiful. My only advice is show up as a whole group, one of my friends came later and they didn't let her up for 30 minutes even though she was with us.
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Hey SD Brides!
I was just wondering where you ladies were gathering for your parties: Engagement party, Rehersal dinners, Bridal Showers/ Bachelorette party etc...(If you're having them). I would like to have a bridal shower or bachelorette party, But I have no idea on where to go. Any advice would help. Thanks!