Post # 1
What are your views when it comes to partying while married?
I just recently had a conversation with one of my bridesmaids who basically twisted my words to and I quote: “so long term relationships and marriage = no partying in Vegas?”
To which I replied, “not at all, if you know me at all, you would realize that 1. Don’t like Vegas and 2. I don’t like to party.”
This conversation began with us discussing a mutual friend who is now in a serious relationship and many people think that they could get married in a year or two, to which I found to be great news because this gal used to be a big party go-er and went to Vegas every weekend and by party, I mean, make out with other chicks, grind on guys, etc.. etc.. So my friend, let’s call her R, thought I was saying that long term relationships and marriage meant no more Vegas.
Hey, I’m all about having a good time and going out with your gals, so I had to go back and defend my comment. Then she proceeded to ask me if I would “let” my fiancé have a bachelor party. I’m sorry, “let”? I told R, why wouldn’t I? And she asked, “Would you allow him to have a bachelor party in Vegas?” I don’t control him, he is allow to do whatever he wants. So I told her that I don’t “allow” or “disallow” him to do anything, he’s a grown up and he can do whatever he pleases, I trust him.
I’m sorry, I just got annoyed and felt that she was implying that I’m controlling or something.
Would you be annoyed or irked as well or am I just being sensitive?
Post # 3
I think that some people who aren’t in long-term relationships with good communication just can’t understand the dynamics– to certain people it will always seem like someone is controlling the other person or that a commitment is a death sentence for fun. I’d be frustrated and I’d make a mental note not to ask for this friend’s opinion regarding relationship questions.
Post # 4
You responded to that just as I would have. There is no “allow” in our relationship either. I have full trust of my Darling Husband and I get kind of erked also when friends ask me if I will “allow” Darling Husband to do something.
Post # 5
I would have totally felt the same way
I used to be the same type of partier, except it was certainly not in Vegas! Hubs and I used to go clubbing regularly when we first got together. We finally got tired of the scene and now we prefer small local bars or drinking at home with friends.
But, that doesn’t mean that if an opportunity to go to Vegas for a weekend came up, we wouldn’t be all over it! But the partying like its 1999 days came and went for us
Post # 6
@bookworm88: you made a great point, you are right that in a committed relationship, it seems like there is some sort of controlling going on; when in reality its compromising for the greater good of your relationship. Good points!
Post # 7
Thank you all for your responses. I agree with all your responses! I was instantly annoyed when I saw how the conversation was going and I just wondered if people see me as controlling and I feel like I always have to defend myself when it comes to going out. I’m a homebody and enjoy staying at home watching movies or tv. If my Fiance wants to go out, he goes out, of course he asks if I want to go with him or if we have plans already but other than that, I never say that he’s not allowed to go.