(Closed) Past cheating messing w my emotions?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My only advice: When you get those fears creeping in like the what if it happens again? clearly remind yourself that it will never happen again. That part of your life is over, and you learned from it ( which is why you know FI is so great!) and that in this present time…things are happy and you deserve to be happy. It sounds like things are going great and you aren’t letting those happy things take full affect cause of your fear.

Post # 4
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think we all do this to some degree, whether it’s a fear of cheating, dying, growing apart, etc. The truth is we never know what the future will hold. As scary as it is, all you can do is leap and know you’re making the best decision with the information you have now. We can’t dwell on what we can’t control. It definitely sounds like you have a keeper, so focus on what you can control: making your marriage a priority so that both of you want to stay.

(Important note: this is something I tell myself of regularly! I try to focus on the things I can control… it always makes me smile when I think of the future with FI)

Post # 5
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Ballet513:  My exhusband cheated on my (got someone pregnant) and yes I do get paranoid sometimes about my fiance because I saw how easy it was for the ex to lie to my face for years–makes you question how well you can ever really know a person

I think the only thing that helps is talking–talk about your insecurities, to your SO or a therapist–once your fears are out in the open they have less power over you than when they’re festering away eating at your confidence 

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