- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Okay ladies. There must be some thoughts that come to mind that you'd LOVE to put as your status update to get your point across, but you can't for fear of offending, being called tacky, and opening up the floodgates to more people asking if they're invited. So here's your chance to say what you want without judgement. (note: this isn't intended to be personally mean, but I'm hoping it will be a collection of funny one liners) Here's what I'd like to say if I could:
"If I were a RSVP response card, where would I be? Apparently not in my mailbox"
"How is it that the President of the United States can send his well wishes, but my own family can't send back their RSVPs!?"
"If you're horny and you know it, clap your hands."
oops, this was supposed to be in the beehive, not emotional. sorry!
Mine's going to be mean, sorry.
"Have a nice life with your cheating doucebag boyfriend. I hope you know that when he finally leaves you, you'll have no friends left."
"Guess what? If you can go tanning every day, you can come see my new house"
"I made my own bouquet because I WANTED TO! Not because I am cheap!"
"I love my ring, no it's not a 10 carot solitare, but it is a nice ring that HE picked out on his own!"
"Not everyone is invited"
"If you don't give me your address, you will be asked to leave if you show up"
Yeah, ok I have a little bit of irritation lol two are for one person and two are for another and the last is for everyone else LOL
"Nice to know you can't be bothered making the effort and then you post a P.A. Facebook message about it"... LOL so it's definitely not worth saying!
"Please stop posting about how your child is the best/most spoiled/most beautiful/smartest kid in the world and then commenting below it as if it's an absolute fact. I don't have kids but if I did I'd probably disagree with you" AND "I know you want to have 5 billion friends and accept anyone who requests you but the porn, and sneaker ads you keep getting 'tagged' in are taking up half of my news feed."
"who the hell cares about how sad you are today" (person who is "sad" everyday)
"no, I do not have an engagement ring, do you have a brain?"
sorry...I'm in one of those moods today.
@angeebride: Hahaha my mom was so frustrated that she actually put up a status like that when we still had a lot of RSVP cards that hadn't been returned. I made her take it down, but part of me wanted her to leave it up because it was so hilarious! ;)
Why must you be such a nasty bitch all the fucking time but then pretend to your mother that you are a princess and that you are never ever wrong?
If your last 10 facebook status' included you calling yourself a bitch please stop wondering why people hate you.
Mom, I love you but lately the way you have been treating me is the reason why I said YES its partially YOUR fault my crazy sister has gone off the deep end. Maybe taking her to a shrink when she tried to suffocate my middle sister MIGHT have been a good idea. Dont blame me because you are NOT in fact the perfect fucking mom. Last time I checked, that wasnt my fault.
"I don't need a status update every 5 minute about your baby."
"You obviously don't know the definition of hypocrite. How can you bitch and talk shit about someone on Facebook and then turn around on the very next status and complain about how people talk shit about people on Facebook and behind their back instead of telling them to their face?"
"It really makes no sense for people to complain about how they have no money for food or to clothe their kids but they have plenty of money to take a week long vacation, buy a new car, loads of liquor and a new flatscreen"
@SouthernGirl:LOVE your last one! I see that so often it pisses me off!
"My life is over. My MIL is on facebook and has friended me."
I guess that wasn't passive aggressive.
I have another one:
"Please don't criticize your friend's choice to have an abortion via status update. Giving her name out to the 300 people on your friends list asking they send hate mail is not cool."
@maureen9004: haha! that's pretty funny.
@Gingersnap: Yeah, I know some people don't agree with abortion and I completely respect that, but the post was uncalled for. I ended up unfriending the girl- I felt really bad for the person targeted.
"NEWSFLASH: Nobody cares."
*Sigh* I really feel I could post that at least once a week.
1. I love this thread!
2. "If you send separate e-vites to the groom's brother and his wife, then fuck off, I won't rsvp!"
3. "How can you marry a guy who just spend $5 grand at a strip club?"
4. "Since you didn't get us a wedding present, we're not getting you one either!"
Phew! Feels good to vent LOL!
"Yes, it's Friday. There's one EVERY week."
"Stop whining about how much school and homework you have. You could probably take a few more classes because your spelling is horrendous."
"Sorry, but who said I was going to invite you?"
"Seriously, we took the time to make a registry for a reason. What are we going to do with a 100 year old silver ladel?"
To FSIL: "Contrary to what you believe, your parents don't have to take out a loan to give you $60,000 for your wedding. You make more than either of your parents...if you want a $60,000 wedding, pay for it yourself!"
@Elle_Neotoma:Oh. My. Goodness. Thank you!
I feel like my newsfeed is always clogged with the most appalling grammatical errors. Today I read:
'omg, i hate my teechers there so dumb'
I want to comment so badly 'you could stand to pay attention to your teachers, dear'. But alas, I do not...
"Etiquette tip #1: if you are sent a formal invitation with a postage-paid RSVP, you are expected to return it even if you are not able to attend. Not RSVP-ing to a formal invitation is considered rude and irresponsible, so consider yourself a bad friend/relative and do not expect to be invited to anything hosted by the bride and groom in the future."
"Etiquette tip #2: If an invitation is not addressed to you, and you were not specifically asked by a direct invitee to a wedding to attend as their guest, you are not invited to the wedding. It is completely inappropriate to invite yourself, let alone additional people who were also not invited, even if the invitation was sent to your house to ensure it would not otherwise be stolen or destroyed."
"Etiquette tip #3: Do not get indignant with a bride or groom when they can't accommodate your last-minute menu or seating request because you RSVP'd a week after the deadline. Suck it up. You're lucky they accepted your RSVP at all."
"It really is true - if you want something right, do it yourself." My future MIL totally botched the invite process to the rehearsal dinner and now doesnt feel like following up w/people despite the fact that she gave people no deadline for RSVP-ing to her, didn't send out invites to 1/2 the people on the list I sent her until 5 days after the first went out, and printed the wrong town on the invite.
I could go on. But I won't :)
These are super great!
Oh god, these are so much better than anything I could come up with. Here are mine:
"No one cares if your kid pooped or napped today, please stop updating us on his breathing patterns every 10 minutes."
"Are you going to tell X that you cheated on him last week? And that everyone knows? Maybe you should include that after the 'miss you so much, love you babe xoxoxoxoxo' you put at the end of every update, whether or not it's about him."
"Spell check."
"Gee, I'm glad I'm not in my mid-30's working at a shitty restaurant."
Oh, management.
"Posting a picture of yourself wearing harem pants doesn't make you cool or fashionable, it makes me think you have NO fashion and have a secret fetish for wearing things that resemble full poopy diapers."
(FYI: if you don't know what harem pants are, they look like the picture below, and my friend posted a pic of her in an ORANGE pair... don't know what to think)
To my FSILs: "Thanks for inquiring 10 days before our wedding as to what your husbands should wear. No, golf shirts are not acceptable attire. ESPECIALLY when FI (your brother) had to rent a disgusting, ill-fitting tux for both of your weddings"
UGH.
I just have to say that this is one of the best posts I have ever been a part of! I love it! :)
"No your invitation didn't get lost in the mail...if you haven't gotten one by now guess what?"
1. "Mom, please stop cheerfully saying 'It's your wedding, you should do whatever you want,' and then telling me exactly what months I should avoid picking a date in just to appease one person's schedule."
2. "When I say I don't want [whatever] at my wedding, please don't push the issue. Especially if you aren't paying for it, aren't going to store it when the party's over, and can't give me a better reason than 'But you HAVE to have it 'cause it's your wedding!'"
3. "If you're a blood-relative of mine and did not give birth to me (not that I even keep in touch with any of you anymore), don't even expect an invitation. Oh, and kindly go **** yourself."
4. "I told you I'm absolutely terrified of the sound of clinking glass. Why in the HELL did you buy me GLASS toasting flutes?!? Do you WANT me to have a panic attack on my wedding day?!?"
5. "I told you more than once that I can't wear bracelets because of my arm injury. Why do you give me one as a gift at every possible occasion?!? What do you expect me to do with them?"
6. "Why do you get all excited about inviting me over or asking me to hang out with you, and then get all pissed off when I call you an hour after we were supposed to meet up, wondering why you blew me off? Multiple times, I might add. I know damn well you weren't busy, because you were updating every 5 minutes about mundane crap. Yeah, that's why I un-friended you. If I wasn't worth your time, you obviously aren't worth mine. Stop trying to re-friend me."
7. "Go ahead, keep making fun of my Vespa. I don't care. I'll keep making fun of you while you're paying literally 10 times more than I am at the gas station."
Yeah, there's issues behind number 3. Insert a four-letter-word of your choice.
Numbers 4 and 5 are directed towards the same person. ::facepalm::
"Haters? What haters, your life really isn't that compelling."
"Sister dearest, your life is hard because you made irresponsible decisions; please stop blaming the catastrophies in your life on those who are bending over backwards to help you, take ownership of your life, and talk to a shrink. It will do you some good. Also, I won't judge you for being permiscuous, but please be safe, and if you aren't please get tested. Health centers offer free std tests even for people without health insurance, and despite what you may think, it does matter if you get pregnant even if you were going to have more kids anyway and the father would have been rich."
This is the best thread I've seen on here. I think I relate to all you ladies.
"I'm still waiting on my invite"
Who the hell said that you were invited?
"Keep on checkin' that mailbox then, you might finally realize just because we worked together 5 years ago doesn't mean you're invited"
"If I haven't talked to you since we graduated high school 10 years ago (where we had to be in school together) and you don't get an invite- DON'T tell everyone how hurt you are"
"Eternal 'Debbie Downers' please, for the love of all things Holy, give it a rest!"
"I don't need to know where you were 5 seconds ago, what you ate, where you're going next, the results of your gyno exam or the color and consistency of your poop. Thankyouverymuch"
@Mrs. Fireworks: ------> "it makes me think you have NO fashion and have a secret fetish for wearing things that resemble full poopy diapers."
OMG!!!!! I literally snorted when reading this!
Oh oh oh! I thought of another.
"Okay, you like the way you look in pictures. WE GET IT. You can stop obsessively taking "self portraits" with your Kodak and filling up entire albums."
"Okay, you like the way you look in pictures. WE GET IT. You can stop obsessively taking "self portraits" with your Kodak and filling up entire albums."
@Mrs.tobe: bahahahahaHA LOVE this!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 37 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 35 |
| Mrs.KMM | 27 |
| ndreighton | 26 |
| beargoose | 25 |
| Gemstone | 24 |
| Beckster329 | 23 |
| BetterSherm | 20 |
| Rivendeler | 20 |
| KCKnd2 | 19 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 26 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 19 |
| beargoose | 16 |
| akp0702 | 9 |
| DaneLady | 8 |
| KatNYC2011 | 7 |
| bakerella | 4 |
| delirium.megans | 4 |
| Mrs. Meowerson | 3 |
| mightywombat | 3 |
