(Closed) Paying for it all ourshelves :-(

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m sorry. I know many people will say that you are a brat but I can see your point since he brought you to believe that he was going to help you pay for the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I understand. We are paying for it ourselves only becuase my parents can’t help. But if they had the money in the bank, i know they would be helping us as much as possible!!

Post # 6
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We are paying for our wedding ourselves and we are extremely grateful for any help we are receiving along the way. My uncle paid $30,000 for his daughters wedding. He asked her beforehand if she wanted money for the wedding or a down payment on a home. She chose wedding and divorced three years later. I bet she wishes she had that house instead. Maybe your father has this, or some gift, in mind, and hasn’t come right out and told you. Maybe he thinks this is reasonable enough to help with a wedding.

Post # 8
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

GOOD FOR YOU!!! I understand why you are upset though, but i also think its great that you are doing this on your own!!! Its your wedding, your day and this gives you an opportunity to have your dream day with your money to show how responsible you are!!

Maybe your dad has a little surprise or something planned for you?!!

Post # 9
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I know this puts you in the tough position of having to try to save to finance it all yourselves, but in some ways you should be greatful. There is no free lunch, and he was paying you would have to bow to his demands. And that would probably involve alot of going for the cheapest, most budget friendly option, instead of what you want. This way, you can have your day, your way.

Post # 11
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@KamAaron2011 YOU CAN T DO IT πŸ™‚ and remember friends and family are always more then happy to help, so use your resources!! πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Actually, a quarter of a million dollars is not much for retirement. If that’s all he has, I think it is good that he isn’t paying for the wedding. most people need a couple million dollars to keep up their lifestyle after retirement (minimum), especially if you are retiring around age 65 or before.(a quarter million dollars won’t even buy a one-bedroom apartment where I live. It’s chump change!)

That said, you can totally do this, and I think it;ll be a helpful reminder of just how much money is really worth. It’s much easier to spend someone else’s money and get carried away with your wedding. But if you feel every penny walking out the door, you’ll be much smarter with how the money gets spent!

Post # 13
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

When I was reading this I could swear these were my thoughts and exact situation 4 months ago. My father is much like yours in that he has three houses multiple cars, boats, motorcycles, jet skis, and when it came time for the wedding discussion he said he would help us when we initially announced the engagement and then when I was ready to talk budget…he said he could give us 2000 dollars! I was shocked and hurt at first since my dad has the money like yours, but I came to terms with it and realized he values his money on other things and my wedding day isnt something he wants to spend the money on. πŸ™ Made me sad at first but I am happier now since my fiance is willing to give me the wedding that I dream of, so together we are saving and getting what we want in the end and we dont have to take any one elses opinion into account. We are having a 2 year engagement now, so we can save up to have what we really want, and in the end I will be so happy my fiance and I did it together! I will be grateful for the money he does give me and will most likely put it towards our honeymoon!

 

Post # 15
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

As crayfish said, $250,000 or even $500,000 can make for a very tough 20-year retirement.  Maybe your dad really wanted to give you more and is realizing that he just couldn’t afford it?  GM’s pension plans aren’t what they used to be, sadly.

I don’t think you sound like a spoiled brat at all – you were surprised/disappointed and are handling it in a mature and responsible way.  I’m sure you’ll have a beautiful wedding that you and your fiance can be proud of; best of luck! πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@KamAaron201- Good Luck to you two! Its time for us to save save save! πŸ˜‰ Its fun saving with your finace, and its also fun knowing that those shoes you really want to buy have to wait since you are getting married!

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