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My husband and I got married in Vegas. The only people we paid for were for my husbands parents and that was because there was no way we were going to have them not be there. We knew going into the "destination wedding" that his parents could not afford for a plane ticket and hotel. We immediatly let them know that we're paying and they have no option because they HAD to be there. Dont skip out on having a destination wedding if that's what you really want. Talk to your mom and see if she'll accept you two paying for at least the plane ticket.
My H and I paid for his parents to attend our wedding because they live in a different country and couldn't afford to come. While they weren't expecting us to pay for their trip, they were definitely happy to have the opportunity to be at the wedding.
If you are worried about people's reaction to you offering to pay, I'd call them up and say something like "we want to host your trip as our gift to you for being supportive family members" rather than "I know you can't afford it, so please let me pay"
I think just tell your family that you really want them to be there and that it is a gift from you two for all the years of love and support. We are paying for the wedding ourselves and also paying for my parents' travel/lodging costs, which I kind of feel bad about, because my fiance's parents are paying for themselves and they even offer to help out with the cost of the wedding, which of course I did not accept, otherwise I'll feel even worse.
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FI and I are considering a small destination wedding for close family only, followed by an at-home reception for everyone.
It is extremely likely that some of the family that I would want at the 'real' wedding wouldn't be able to afford to come. FI and I are willing to pay for them to come cause it's really important to me that they be there. My mom is saying that they wouldn't accept us paying for them.
That leaves me with getting married away without them (which I don't want) or getting married at home with them (which I also don't really want).
Anyone else in this same boat? How did you get around it?