Post # 1
What is your ladies’ opinion on who is supposed to pay for the wedding?
My family has been paying for everything at this point: Wedding/Reception; clothes for both sides, accomodations and food for both sides.
However, lately it feels like we are being taken advantage of, I know traditionally the bride’s side pays but my family is not sure how much more they can take…
Post # 3
The couple should pay. If parents/relatives/friends want to pay then thats great, but they are in no way obligated to pay for a wedding.
Post # 4
Traditionally, in the US, the bride’s family pays … but this has gradually turned into the couple paying with generous offers from either side of the family.
Post # 5
in mymy family and broader social circle the bride’s parents pay. grooms parents typically pay for the traditional things – rehearsal dinner, flowers, etc.
Post # 6
chinese culture the grooms family pays and on top of that they pay dowry..yeap.. still happens… maybe not as common but still happening..
Post # 7
We are paying for it ourselves, though FI’s family seem to think it’s my family’s responsibility :/ Though we have had offers of help from my family.
Post # 8
Post # 9
I’m lucky – my parents have given me a pretty substantial budget for our wedding. I did, however, offer to pay for certain things – DJ, Cake, my dress/accessories, rehearsal dinner, and I think FH and I are going to jointly pay for our honeymoon.
His entire family is in Africa, but will be coming in, which I feel like is a lot of money already, but they will be paying for the alcohol at the reception.
Post # 10
this is always a touchy area
FI and I are paying for a 1/3 of our wedding. My parents are paying the other 2/3s. My future in laws would like to contribute but they are strapped financially- which we totally understand.
some people in the family have voiced their opinions on my parents paying for the wedding- They think that just FI and I should pay- my mom has been dreaming of this day since I was little she truly wants to pay… I see nothing wrong with accepting it. Because my parents are paying for most of the wedding FI and I will be able to BUY a home instead of rent. That is a HUGE deal for us! I feel super blessed to have the parents I do… but lots of people disagree on their choice to contribute so much
Post # 11
Me and my FH are paying for everything, We are doing a very small wedding in Paris and because our parents are paying to fly over here and for their hotel – we thought we should cover everything else. Although none of our parents offered?
Post # 12
I think it would be best for the both of you to set up a budget. Really write down what is being spent on what. Then gently approach the topic with him/his side, and see if any of his family is willing to pitch in for anything, or donate money towards something…That way you don’t feel like you are being taken advantage of, and it alleviates some stress. My Fiance’s parents have given us money, and they are more in the position to afford to give us a larger amount than my parents. My mom is giving us what she can afford, and I plan on asking my Dad to pitch in something.
Post # 13
Your parents are not obligated to pay for every wish/desire at the wedding, heck they don’t have to pay at all. Don’t let them get stressed out, if they have paid for enough, tell them they have been more than generous and take over the remainder of the balance from there. If FIL’s have a speical request, they can pay for it at this point.
Just so you know, we are paying for our entire wedding/honeymoon ourselves, so you and your SO are very luck to have the financial help.
Post # 14
@DefyingGravity: If your parents can’t continue to pay for the wedding, they shouldn’t. I don’t think any particular person or family should feel obligated to fork over thousands upon thousands of dollars for a wedding. Please let them know that you both appreciate everything they’ve done so far and then take over the remainder of the bill yourselves.
I agree with mishagirls79 … You are very fortunate to have financial help. My fiance and I are footing the entire bill for our wedding!
Post # 15
My parents are paying for the reception hall (which includes food, decore, etc) and my dress. his family is paying for the flowers and rehearsal dinner. We are paying for everything else.
Post # 16
Getting a little help from our parents, but we are paying for at least 75% of the costs– maybe more, depending on what the final costs end up being.