Peeved about SO's B-Day Wishlist (Maybe TMI)

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well.. you DID ask him what he wanted, and he told you what he’d like to do. Watch the movie, make the dinner, it’s just a movie it’s really not a big deal. He’s basically saying “I know that you don’t want to watch this, but since it’s my birthday, will you do it for me”? Isn’t that what birthday’s and doing things for your SO is all about? You don’t have to like it and maybe he’ll stop asking if you watch it once. 

As far as the blow job thing goes, the last thing I want is to be ASKED to give my husband a BJ so I completely understand your irritation. I’d tell him “we’ll see about that” and at least then you can do it somewhat on your own terms. You know you’ll do it because it’s his b day and he wants it, but at least then it’s not like “yes sir let me hurry up and please you sir”. lol

Post # 3
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

I mean you did ask, and it’s no surprise that most people want to or end up going out on their birthdays—so I don’t think it is ruined.

As far as the movie goes, eh– it is 2 hours, it won’t kill you,

Annnd for the BJ, I am not an advocate of doing something you’re not comfortable with when it comes to sex. But if it is at all possible, just suck it up ( literally) and do it. It will make him happy and show him that even thought it isn’t YOUR favorite thing, you’re willing to compromise on special occasions because HE really enjoys it.

Post # 4
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

peachykeener:  I’m not sure what the real problem is. You asked him what he wanted. He answered.

Couples should be able to communicate about their wants and needs, including their sexual wants and needs. Is it out of the ordinary for the two of you to talk about these?

Post # 5
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Next time, don’t ask him what he wants for his birthday if you’re not prepared to give it to him.  His wishes aren’t ureasonable and are easily met. 

Taking advantage of the situation because it’s his birthday?  Well, isn’t that the time to ask for things you really want (aside from Christmas, of course)?  Why not ask if it means he gets something he really wants and will make him happy?  God knows I’ve “taken advantage” of my birthday to ask for something I might not get on any other day of the week. 

 

Post # 6
Member
4440 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I thought you were going to say he wanted something really expensive…I don’t see the issue here!

Post # 8
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I sorta think we open ourselves up to these things when we ask people want they want…Firstly, a dinner on your SO’s birthday is pretty standard so I wouldn’t worry about a surprise being ruined there. He will still really enjoy it. As for the movie, well it’s his birthday so I think you just have to suck it up and watch. I just tend to zone out on the iPad when FI puts a movie on that I’m not really interested in. As for the BJ, I guess if it’s something he doesn’t have too often he probably thought his birthday list gave him the perfect excuse to ask for it! I don’t think it cheapens it – I would totally ask for a massage from my FI on my birthday because I like getting them but he isn’t super keen on giving them! You can bet I’m using my birthday as an excuse to weasel one out of him, lol.

Post # 10
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

@peachykeener, Maybe doing “The List” out of order will help. Give him “his” fun 1st or for a second and then let that lead into the full on act of “Love”, you’ll both have worked up an appetite and you already have dinner planned (just make it a LONG dinner) and then by the time you watch the movie (you might just happen to fall asleep (benadryl, tylenol pm could help) 🙂 ….. You did everything he wanted and he cant be mad at you for falling asleep, it’s late your tired and full.  Many Ladies have the same feeling you do (B.J.), and thats totally normal, I can tell you in a previous relationship for me I was the same way and I learned how to work around it with LOTS of forplay and getting really good with my hands. 😉 I hope everything works out for you, and in response to your comment “some Bee’s have been getting really snarky lately” I coudln’t agree with you more. We are here to support one another not be a “mean girl”, we’re all grown Ladies and don’t have time for non-sense like that. xoxoxoxox    

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Misstiff.
Post # 11
Member
10495 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

peachykeener:  It’s nice when both partners can enjoy the birthday and if I asked DH what he wanted for his birthday, those aren’t the answers I’d expect.  If I asked him what he wanted to do, that would be a bit different. It sounds like you wanted to surprise him a bit.  Maybe you can get some massage oils and do that while watching Borat?  If you get flavoured ones, maybe the BJ will be more enjoyable for you 🙂 I think you do need to suck it up though, his requests are reasonable except maybe the BJ, but I can understand why you feel the way you do.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  AB Bride.
Post # 12
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

peachykeener:  i would make him dinner, give him a blowjob and watch borat. with a smile on my face. if you had a surprize you shouldnt have asked him what he wanted to do. my DH asked me like everyday for a BJ so not a big deal for me, thats just an everyday thing. if i can do it before he asks hes super happy. i ask DH to watch the notebook with me all the time, he hates it but on my birthday or valentines day he will def watch it with me. hes not asking for much at all. sounds really low key.

Post # 14
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would give him a great dinner, watch Borat with him and give him an amazing blow job.

If you have never wanted to watch Borat before I think him asking on his birthday is a great compromise. I mean what better day to ask you to do something you don’t want to do?

Honestly, this all sounds kind of silly. YOU asked him what he wanted. That all sounds simple to me. He could have asked for something very expensive…

And when someone tells me not to be snarky as a way to open up their post- it makes me really want to be snarky. It has the opposite effect because I don’t like being told how to act/comment.

Post # 15
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

First the dinner. Don’t worry about getting “credit” for it. It’s your SO’s birthday and I would just try to focus on how nice it’s going to be to see a big smile on his face when he enjoys his day. The dinner will be great because it’s something you can both enjoy.

The film. I know it’s a film that you might not particulary care for, but I think it’s okay to just give over about two hours of your life to make your SO happy. I’m sure he thinks it’s hilarious and didn’t make that choice to annoy you or anything. 

BJ. It sounds like your more upset about this because you kind of feel obligued to do it rather than you are really against BJs in general. I say take the power back and surprise him. Get some super sexy lingerie that he won’t be expecting and knock his socks off! Turn the situation into an opportunity for some great sex that you will both enjoy incorporating the birthday BJ as part of that. I’m sure he’ll enjoy the whole thing even more that way. 

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