Post # 1
So, we just sent our invitations out. We have a card with the invitation that asks our guests to RSVP on our wedding website and gives the address. We used mywedding.com for this.
People have already started RSVPing. On the RSVP page, there is space that says “Guests in your party, including yourself” allows people to enter a number. I assumed that people would not assume they have a guest and refer to who the invitation was addressed to in determine whether they have a guest.
But one of my friends added a guest when she RSVPed, even though the paper invitation was only addressed to her. Now, I’m wondering if it is confusing and if a lot of people will do this causes many awkward converstations…
The website allows us to turn off the “Guests in your party, including yourself” option. But then families with several members would have to do through the RSVP 4 times (or whatever) for each guest. If we take it away, I’m worried people will just put in their own name and not go and RSVP for the others in their party.
What should I do? Disable the guest feature? Or assume that most people will only add a guest if there is one listed on their invitation envelope.
HELP! I’m seriously freaking out. I’m feeling like a mega failure bride because I did this all on my own. I thought I was doing the right thing…
Post # 3
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
Ahhh! Every bride’s worst fear!
First off, take a deep breath. Secondly, contact people who have RSVP’d with too many as soon as possible. Just be polite and explain that, as much as you would love to host everyone, there isn’t room (blame fire code) for them to bring a guest, and that, unfortunately, only Person A was invited. end with something like, “we look forward to seeing you there on our big day!”
Post # 4
I don’t really know how mywedding does it but wee added the wording “list additional guests if applicable (separated by commas)” it seems to be working for us. But we are lucky that it doesn’t really affect our planning if people add since we’re only having a cake and punch reception and it’s all outside.
Post # 5
You guys are so great. I feel more calm already. Haha. So far, it is just one person that messed up.
I found a way to add some text to the RSVP page to maybe make things clearer. We have it asking people to please refer to the invitation envelope to determine the number of guests in their party. Hopefully that’s not…rude..?
Post # 6
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
@ColoroftheSky: not rude at all. simply clears things up for people who might (wrongly) assume that this means they can bring whomever they like. well done!
Post # 7
@ColoroftheSky: I had this problem but not with a wedding website. One of my Fiance cousins added his girlfriend…we didn’t even know he had one. The envelope was addressed to him and only him. I also had one of his Uncles request that he send his daughter and her boyfriend to represent their family because he and his wife couldn’t make it. We had to tell them no because we didn’t invite any of his cousins so it wouldn’t be fair. That was an awkward situation to say the least.
Post # 8
@ColoroftheSky: hey I have the same issue going on right now. So this is what I did….I want to the website and I made a note that said “pls only rsvp for guests on the invite”. Some bbes here may think it rude but “meh” who cares.
did have one person try to add their grown daughter. The funny thing is we dont even know this person anyways…it was on of my Future Mother-In-Law guests (we allowed her to invite very few guests becaise she contributed a large sum of money to wedding). So I simply didnt add the uninvited guest to list and then I told my Future Mother-In-Law to talk to her friends, because we dont hve room for the grown daughter to come.
I dont think much tact is needed…just try to keep you cool when letting these ppl know that they dont make the guest list on Your dime .
Post # 9
We had the same dilemma but just removed the guest fuction. Most people worked it out anyway, some compromised by just putting both their names down in one go (which I then separated out on the website myself) and some just added their own name and I quietly and privately asked if their partner is coming, again something I can fix myself. It’s a hassle but considering the number of requests I’ve gotten for bringing more guests I’m really glad we decided to go down the slightly more difficult rsvp route! I’d remove the function and just let guests work it out themselves.
And fire code is indeed a wonderful excuse