(Closed) people and their assumptions!

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
1716 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not near as nice as you. I would have told that asshole exactly what I thought of him.

Post # 4
3174 posts
Sugar bee

I always get asked why did I get engaged so young and that I’m going to end up just like my mom. My mom got married at 21, had my older sister at 21, had me at 23 and left my dad when she was 25. I told them that won’t happen and we’re waiting until we’re both done with school before we get married. 

Post # 5
3790 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I can’t believe the gall of people!

Friends of mine got engaged at 21. They’ll be 25 when they get married and everyone keeps asking “why are you taking so long to plan a wedding”  There is no pleasing some people!

Post # 6
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’ve come to learn in my many years that some people simply lack any tact!  I had a good friend who was 34 when he first got married….he proposed after 6 months dating and they were married 4 months later.  Everyone he knew thought she was pregnant but really who cares?  They found out they were expecting on their first anniversary….I guess that shut some people up.

I guess it’s not really different now that I’m 36 and people are asking if I even like kids b/c I don’t have any….btw, we are TTC but still, people probably won’t quit saying stupid things to me until I’m 50!  Maybe???

Post # 7
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Oh dear, I am 21 years old and Fiance and I have been engaged for almost 3 months now and will probably by engaged for another 2 years at the least. BUT! Nobody has questioned or challenged me yet. They’re all just talking behind my back I guess. 

Post # 8
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I had people assume that I was pregnant when we announced that we were engaged.  And then they ate their words when it had been a year and there was still no baby.  Why can’t people assume that you’re getting married because you’re in love?!  And the funniest part is, I’m the OLDEST woman in my immediate family to get married.  Sister got married at 19, mom got married at 20, both grandmothers got married in their teens.  I’ll be 22 when I get married and I was 20 when I got engaged (nearly 21.  He proposed a couple of months shy of my 21st birthday).

Post # 9
4794 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

After reading all these threads, I’m shocked I haven’t heard any of it yet! No one has told me I’m too young (except in an obviously joking way) or asked if I’m pregnant or made any rude comments. 

It’s a relief and it’s kinda disappointing at the same time. I feel like I haven’t properly been “initiated” into the young bride group yet. 

Post # 10
578 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s normal for family and friends to have some concerns or doubts about a young and short engagement. I don’t necessarily agree with asking “when are you due?” That is a little rude.


Post # 11
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

ugh I think that I will be getting engaged on my 20th birthday  (2 months).. I need to prepare myself for the comments.

Post # 12
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ooooh yeah we get rude comments all the time. Some of my family may still be convinced that I’m pregnant and that’s why we are getting married this year instead of waiting. What’s worse for me is that I still look very young and I’m short so of course whenever I answer the door to my own house ups/cable/etc will ask “are you parents home?” ………… ugh

Post # 13
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I look extremely young for my age, though I am 26 most people assume I am 18. When I was planning my wedding it was a constant stream of, “You are way too young to get married! You need to grow up and see the world first! Go to College! Why rush? Have fun with your life first!”

I was so pissed off. Most women get to hear “congratulations!” but all I heard from complete strangers were rude comments about how I was making a mistake. I felt like writing my age on my forehead. I would usually snap that I was 25 and had been with my fiance for 5 years thank you very much, that we had both graduated from university two years ago. They usually would mutter, “OH, well thats okay then, I thought you were in high school.” Who cares? Who are you to say rude things and criticize people you dont even know about when they get married?

It made me so angry that I hated telling strangers that I was getting married, they were almost always rude.

Post # 14
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I had that reaction too. The day I got engaged, my ex-step father texts me asking if I can get my sisters to talk to him. I said ‘i’m on holidays at the moment and i’ve actually just gotten engaged, i’ll talk to them a little later’. Then he said ‘oh congratulations. When are you due?’ Argh! I’ve been with the same guy for 4.5years and he KNEW that, it seems logical that we’d get engaged. I then said I wasn’t pregnant, and ended the conversation on a good note. We go to see my SO’s uncle and pop the day after we get back and it turns out my ex-step father had been out there (small town, it was business related, I didn’t even know they knew each other!) and apparently he repeated his ‘she must be pregnant’ speach. Yes, i’m young, BUT we’ve been together for quite awhile and in this day and age getting married because you’re pregnant isn’t all that common. Annoying that people just assume that. Personally I think a lot of the time people are just having a dig at you but don’t want to come out and say ‘you’re too young’.

Post # 15
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

I’m 21, and when we announced we were engaged, everyone was happy. We’ve been together for over 2 and a half years, and people were just waiting for it apparently.


That being said, when we told everyone our date the next day (it’s 9 months away from the day we became engaged) I got ALL sorts of questions “WHY in nine months? Is there something you want to tell us?”

Uhm..No? We wanted to get married in June and it’s either wait until 2013 or wait over a year and a half to get married. 

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