People are asking my bridesmaids and parents where their invitation is (vent)

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

@Meant2Bee:  They aren’t contacting you b/c they know their behavior is inappropriate.

I’m sorry that’s happening. 🙁

Post # 4
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@prahajess:  they probably don’t even know how to contact the bride or groom lol

 

@Meant2Bee:  how are your parents and bridal party members handling the inquiry.

 

One of my cousin’s was so upset she wasn’t invited to my wedding. We are first cousins. umm hello I don’t even have your number. And she doesn’t even have mine. Why would I care if you were there to witness this special day in my life when we aren’t special to each other??? Some people! Smh

Post # 5
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Meant2Bee:  i’m going through it, but i’ve made it clear that the venue is small and we are trying to keep it intimate, and then ignoring everything else. life’s too short to let it get me down when the best day of my life is just around the corner 😉

Post # 6
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@prahajess:  I completely agree with you. By not asking the bride themselves, its because they know they’re being ridiculous. They’re just trying to save face.

 

@Meant2Bee:  I just sent out STDs and havent heard yet…but I’m anticipating the people shortly when they go to our website and realize we aren’t having kids. The reason we aren’t having kids is because of how bratty my 2nd cousins are and I know their parents are going to have something to say about it. Just spread the word with your attendants and let them know that if people are asking them about invites, to have them respond with “I’m not handling the invitations and therefore do not feel comfortable commenting”. If these people who are asking them get a response like that, then the chances of them coming to you as a follow up are unlikely simply because they were avoiding you in the first place. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

@Meant2Bee:  There was a great post the other day from a frustrated Bee… she briefly cried and then quickly moved into IDGAF mode. It is a very useful mood to have and I urge you to embrace it. 

These people are wack and they can suck on it!

Post # 9
Member
9532 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Could be worse – they could be contacting you directly! People get their feelings hurt when they aren’t invited to weddings. It happens. They’ll get over it. Don’t let it stress you out!

Post # 10
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Meant2Bee:  I’m sure it will happen once the formal invites are out and word gets out that some people received invites or not.

However, through our whole engagement, we’ve basically told people that while we’d love to invite everyone we know and love, with extended family (aunts, uncles, 1st cousins) & bridal party alone totaling 140 people, we really had to be conservative on the friends and colleagues we could extend invitations to. We usually add a line about how we hope people understand and that those who we couldn’t invite would understand and perhaps celebrate with us at the pub after the wedding.

Post # 11
Member
1632 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I have a family members daughter from a previous marriage that isn’t even related to us, whom I never remember meeting trying to get into my wedding when she didn’t even invite me to her wedding two months ago. & we live like 15 minutes from each other but we never seem to have the time to meet. But we have the time to make sure all of Facebook knows we want our invite.

Post # 12
Member
6880 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

@Meant2Bee:  Hey! Just wanted to offer you a bit of advice and support. My wedding was yesterday, and I stuck to my guns on having a very small and intimate ceremony of 25 of my nearest and dearest. IT WAS AMAZING. 

My college girl friends threw fits for not getting invited, and I literally even lost one of my best friends over the whole ordeal. We haven’t spoken at all in about a month,and I have a lot of time to reflect on the type of people I want to surround myself going into adulthood.I realized that some people are just selfish and not worth my time anymore.

For those that cannot wish you well and be understanding of what a wedding actually costs or what the bride and groom want for their special day, I would just try and kill them with kindness. Tell them that you understand they are upset because they want to celebrate with you on your wedding, that you are sorry they cannot attend, but you are trying to keep the guest list small. 

((HUGS)) I know how stressful it can be.

I loved my wedding day so much and I know that you will too! 

Post # 13
Member
8035 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Meant2Bee:  you just need to float on by and ignore this bad behavior. Thank your BMs for dealing with it and put it out of your mind.

You are not obligated to invite every single relation, acquaintence, or past friend of all time ever. Dont sweat it!

Post # 14
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@prahajess:  +1! They aren’t contacting because they know it’s rude and probably because they don’t even know how to, especially when they haven’t spoken in years.

 

 @Meant2Bee:  I feel your pain, my guest list is/was pretty long because of my sorority sisters, luckily we had the room, but most of the invites were just out of courtesy because so many live so far away and can’t come anyway. We have so many weddings this year between our sands and it’s just not economical to come to them all. I would ignore them, and they will eventually get the picture when they don’t get an invite. Don’t let them stress you.

Post # 14
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Meant2Bee:  Just remember that even if you do everything right, someone is going to get hurt, offended, pissed off… people will talk, you won’t make everyone happy, someone will hate some choice you make… you just need to look past it.  For whatever reason, if you can’t invite them, then you just can’t .  Focus on you, what makes you happy, and everyone who will be there to celebrate with you.

Post # 15
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee

Unfortunately, I think we’ve all been there. I have ‘friends’ whom I’ve lost touch with and while they are nice people, I’m not close to them nor have I been for the past few years. One girl outrightly asked me if she was getting an invitation and the other assumed she was invited.

I do feel bad since the second girl seemed to be under the assumption that we were closer than we actually are, but you just can’t please everyone.

I’m also keeping my facebook page free of anything directly related to our wedding after a few awkward posts from guests on our STDs, making travel arrangements to our wedding (whom they are not being invited to) and one asking if she can join us for the bachelorette weekend. I don’t get it…I really don’t. We’re all adults here.

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