- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
I’ve always wondered since way before I was even dating my current SO what the big deal was about weddings having to follow a certain format and etiquette, and now that I’m about to become engaged it is all I can think about. So here is what I will NEVER understand:
Why is the wedding viewed as more about etiquette than what the bride and groom want? Why do I have to follow a certain set of rules about how I spend one of the most important days of my life for the sake of old rules that are constantly changing? And what do you think changes those rules? PEOPLE doing things differently. So why are we all not allowed to try and do things differently if it is what will make us happy?
I love my friends and family, and they love me and my SO. They know we are poor young adults about to be just out of college, and they know that we love each other and want to share that love and commitment with them. If I wear a cardigan at my wedding, or have pizza and beer instead of filet mignon and fancy wine, they won’t care. They won’t march in expecting an open bar and fancy favors or luxurious accomodations because they know we just can’t afford that. Why do more people on here not understand that a wedding does not have to be something that breaks the bank if that is not what the couple wants or can afford.
Most wedding etiquette stems from the traditions of weddings held by upperclass people. Historically weddings of lower class people were non-events or very small gatherings. So why are we expected today to continue the traditions of etiquette of upperclass people if we who are throwing the wedding are not in fact upper class.
I guess my point is every person is different and from a different economic background and cultural background, and even social background. So maybe we can all try to be a little more understanding of that, and not just on here but when we go to other people’s weddings, and maybe we can stop running ourselves into the ground financially to try to provide this elegant party just because we think we have to.
Let me clarify some things:
I’m not saying make your guests uncomfortable
I’m not saying don’t feed them
I am ssaying having a cash bar is not a huge deal (we are providing alcohol, but that isn’t the point)
I am saying if we politely word that we would prefer cash rather than gifts it’s not super rude since we all know it’s polite to provide a gift, and if people aren going to pony up money it would be better for it to be useful than on a blender when I already have one.
I have heard bees say things that steer from tradition are against etiquette, so I guess I’m talking about tradition too… but I just keep hearing “etiquette this and etiquette that”