People give you so many opinions on weddings how do you handle it?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

@chesb:  Yup I know how that goes lol. Seriously, the less you tell people about your wedding, the better. And if they ask, tell them you haven’t figured it out yet. 

Post # 4
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I know exactly how you feel! I’m the same way. I still just nod and agree but ultimately, I already have my mind set, lol

Post # 5
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - St. Francis of Assisi Church & N.O. Board of Trade

Same thing going on here!  In general, I’m trying not to ask for too much advice unless I really need it.  I realized that I was asking too many people (family, bridesmaids, etc) and then getting overwhelmed with responses, so now I’m trying to keep most things close.  


If it’s unsolicited advice, just try to ignore and it’ll be done with in a few months! 


Post # 6
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

it’s even worse if it comes from immediate family members.  i learned to smilie and pretend I agree and just do it my way. 


If they get upset, too bad it’s my wedding. Nobody opinion matters. My mom has been forcing me to follow all chinese culture … to a point I’m sick and tired of it. I will only do what I feel comfortable with.  she will find out I will have no new pj for FI and I, no special kit.  Too bad so sad. 

Post # 7
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Keep answers short and vague and then change the subject. THe more you talk about it the more people think you want to share things with them and get their opinions.

Post # 8
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I tried to talk about my wedding with as few people as possible

I tried to keep with my vision and was able to in most cases……

Stay strong, get ear plugs, and change the subject as fast as you can……

Post # 9
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

“It’s going to be a surprise” worked well in a couple of instances. My dress, for example- only my Mom, my two MOHs, and Mom’s best friend knew what it looked like beforehand.

Or “we’ve already got that covered/taken care of” worked pretty well, too.

Post # 10
1321 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve learned early on in the wedding planning process that the best thing to do is DO NOT SHARE YOUR WEDDING DETAILS WITH OTHER PEOPLE.  I know what you’re saying about all the uninvited advice & opinions people will throw at you regarding YOUR wedding — it is SUPER annoying when people make your wedding about them.

I know you’re probably really excited and happy about planning your wedding.
But seriously, keep the details to yourself and ONLY share when it’s absolutely necessary.  Whenever my family asks me about my wedding, I usually just smile and say “well we’re still working out the details but will let you know when we’ve figured things out” and that’s it.  The only time I share any details with them or anyone else are when things that are definitive and set — like the wedding venue after we booked it and paid our deposit, and the wedding date.

Post # 11
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Yeah we just haven’t shared that much.  I don’t really talk about it very often, so people haven’t been asking too many detail-type questions.  The most I get is the “getting close now huh” or “any big things left to do” type, which I answer with a sure is or nope just little things.

Post # 12
4601 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I try to talk about it with as few people as I can get away with. When people do give an opinion on something, I usually just say “thanks, I will definitely keep that in mind”. I know that most of the people offering advice are just trying to be helpful, but it can get frustrating when so many people are coming at you with so much. 

My mom has given me 100 different opinons on my centerpieces. I already know what I want, so I just say that I’ll think about it and move on to something else. 

Post # 13
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@chesb:  just say “okay, thanks”. never try to defend your choices. if they want to know why you didn’t go with something they suggested, just tell them, “because i decided on this and this is what i like.” 

i got the most push back from my mom. she made “suggestions” and then got upset when i didn’t implement them. she tried to say that i didn’t like her suggestions because they were coming from her (totally made it about her). it drove me NUTS but eventually i had to learn to just stonewall her everytime she tried to be pushy about her suggestions by saying “thank you but i am going to move forward with (insert your choice here).” 

there’s really nothing anyone can say to something like that.

Post # 15
4586 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t talk about wedding stuff unless someone directly asks about it. But, that’s just how I am with a lot of topics too.

When I first got engaged, a good friend of mine was all about advice, as she has helped plan a couple other friends of ours weddings in the past (she is not married). I kept telling her that we wanted to habe the reception/dance at a hotel so people would have places to stay and not have to drive so far after drinking, etc. She kept telling me all of these places that weren’t at hotels, and although nice – NOT what we were looking for. I appreciated her help, really… just didn’t need more hands in the pot than needed.

Heck, I have a hard time talking to my mom about the wedding and planning, as we have completely different ideas and she seems to forget that it’s what I (and my FI) want that matters.

Just stick to what you want to do, and what you feel is important. In the end, if you can look back and know that you pulled off a great celebration of your marriage – that’s what matters!

Post # 16
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Dreams Las Mareas - Costa Rica

MrsSweetT:  Great advice!  Im going to use this… 🙂

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