Post # 1
Lately everything i say if someone ask about my wedding people throw in their opinions and how something should be etc. i find myself getting soo annoyed in my head and i just want to scream. I dont want to be a diva and yell its MY wedding but sometimes enough is enough. how can you handle the advice and the opinions left right and center on how things should be etc? i honestly try to be nice and say oh ok il consider it but my head is screaming lol.
Post # 3
@chesb: Yup I know how that goes lol. Seriously, the less you tell people about your wedding, the better. And if they ask, tell them you haven’t figured it out yet.
Post # 4
I know exactly how you feel! I’m the same way. I still just nod and agree but ultimately, I already have my mind set, lol
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2014 - St. Francis of Assisi Church & N.O. Board of Trade
Same thing going on here! In general, I’m trying not to ask for too much advice unless I really need it. I realized that I was asking too many people (family, bridesmaids, etc) and then getting overwhelmed with responses, so now I’m trying to keep most things close.
If it’s unsolicited advice, just try to ignore and it’ll be done with in a few months!
Post # 6
it’s even worse if it comes from immediate family members. i learned to smilie and pretend I agree and just do it my way.
If they get upset, too bad it’s my wedding. Nobody opinion matters. My mom has been forcing me to follow all chinese culture … to a point I’m sick and tired of it. I will only do what I feel comfortable with. she will find out I will have no new pj for FI and I, no special kit. Too bad so sad.
Post # 7
Keep answers short and vague and then change the subject. THe more you talk about it the more people think you want to share things with them and get their opinions.
Post # 8
I tried to talk about my wedding with as few people as possible
I tried to keep with my vision and was able to in most cases……
Stay strong, get ear plugs, and change the subject as fast as you can……
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
“It’s going to be a surprise” worked well in a couple of instances. My dress, for example- only my Mom, my two MOHs, and Mom’s best friend knew what it looked like beforehand.
Or “we’ve already got that covered/taken care of” worked pretty well, too.
Post # 10
I’ve learned early on in the wedding planning process that the best thing to do is DO NOT SHARE YOUR WEDDING DETAILS WITH OTHER PEOPLE. I know what you’re saying about all the uninvited advice & opinions people will throw at you regarding YOUR wedding — it is SUPER annoying when people make your wedding about them.
I know you’re probably really excited and happy about planning your wedding.
But seriously, keep the details to yourself and ONLY share when it’s absolutely necessary. Whenever my family asks me about my wedding, I usually just smile and say “well we’re still working out the details but will let you know when we’ve figured things out” and that’s it. The only time I share any details with them or anyone else are when things that are definitive and set — like the wedding venue after we booked it and paid our deposit, and the wedding date.
Post # 11
Yeah we just haven’t shared that much. I don’t really talk about it very often, so people haven’t been asking too many detail-type questions. The most I get is the “getting close now huh” or “any big things left to do” type, which I answer with a sure is or nope just little things.
Post # 12
I try to talk about it with as few people as I can get away with. When people do give an opinion on something, I usually just say “thanks, I will definitely keep that in mind”. I know that most of the people offering advice are just trying to be helpful, but it can get frustrating when so many people are coming at you with so much.
My mom has given me 100 different opinons on my centerpieces. I already know what I want, so I just say that I’ll think about it and move on to something else.
Post # 13
@chesb: just say “okay, thanks”. never try to defend your choices. if they want to know why you didn’t go with something they suggested, just tell them, “because i decided on this and this is what i like.”
i got the most push back from my mom. she made “suggestions” and then got upset when i didn’t implement them. she tried to say that i didn’t like her suggestions because they were coming from her (totally made it about her). it drove me NUTS but eventually i had to learn to just stonewall her everytime she tried to be pushy about her suggestions by saying “thank you but i am going to move forward with (insert your choice here).”
there’s really nothing anyone can say to something like that.
Post # 14
Thank you all for the advice. Def is tough. The one person that seems to overrude me is his step sis. Any ideas i have she goes on and on and if i say anything to My FI he always says ask her i which i hate so i am learning not to say anything to him. I changed the colors yesterday she then called his mom to tell her. My mom is being very understanding and helping me with what i Want so thats good. I will from now on only talk to my mom bout ideas i have. The sis made me feel guilty then his mum is crying inside because his dad died several years ago and she is losing her son. that made me feel i should tell his mom everything its just been so stressful. I love the new colors i choose. 🙂
Post # 15
I don’t talk about wedding stuff unless someone directly asks about it. But, that’s just how I am with a lot of topics too.
When I first got engaged, a good friend of mine was all about advice, as she has helped plan a couple other friends of ours weddings in the past (she is not married). I kept telling her that we wanted to habe the reception/dance at a hotel so people would have places to stay and not have to drive so far after drinking, etc. She kept telling me all of these places that weren’t at hotels, and although nice – NOT what we were looking for. I appreciated her help, really… just didn’t need more hands in the pot than needed.
Heck, I have a hard time talking to my mom about the wedding and planning, as we have completely different ideas and she seems to forget that it’s what I (and my FI) want that matters.
Just stick to what you want to do, and what you feel is important. In the end, if you can look back and know that you pulled off a great celebration of your marriage – that’s what matters!
Post # 16
- Wedding: June 2015 - Dreams Las Mareas - Costa Rica
MrsSweetT: Great advice! Im going to use this… 🙂