People ignoring our wishing well card and just buying gifts anyway…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Did people ignore your wishing well card?
    Yes....people just got us gifts anyway : (20 votes)
    45 %
    Half and half...we got a combination of stuff and money : (16 votes)
    36 %
    Everyone just contributed to the wishing well. : (8 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    7923 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Well they might be ignoring the card because they think it is rude of you to ask for money. So I doubt anything you will say would change their mind. I guess the only thing you can do is politely accept their gift since it is ultimately up to them what they want to gift you.

    Post # 3
    Member
    2810 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    people are going to buy you gifts. because asking for money outright is considered rude.

    maybe they’ll include gift receipts? 

    Post # 4
    Member
    6780 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    You can always select a charity of your choice and request that guests donate to the charity instead of buying you a physical gift. People will understand from that, that you don’t want physical gifts. Some will give to the charity and some will give to you.  Also, you shouldn’t look at it as people “ignoring” your wishing well card, because that sounds like the guests are doing something wrong by giving a physical gift, and they’re not.

    Post # 5
    Member
    969 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I’ve never heard of this, but we had a registry and most people still gave cash. We did do a honeymoon registry (in addition to a traditional registry), which really ends up working the same way as cash.

    Post # 7
    Member
    4523 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    A sincere thank you is really the only appropriate response to a gift. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1248 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

    There is no polite way to say “Keep your gift, just give us the cash.” However, the good news is that if you DO make that sentiment (and your displeasure) known, people will stop giving you boxed gifts in a heartbeat. Or any gifts. Or attending your wedding.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2815 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I don’t think you can be choosy when it comes to gifts– if that is what they want to give you, accept it, be grateful, and that is that.

    You don’t get to dicate what people give to you.

    Post # 10
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    Julybride88:  I understand your thoughts but you have to remember gifts of any kind should never be expected and only appreciated. There is NO right way to flat out ask for money. If the wishing well card is done so much in your area then most people should be familiar with it and will give you money. But if they dont, then dont be upset when someone give you a boxed gift. Try to remember the intention of the gift. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    3312 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    564 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Is this real life?

    OP, the answer to your first question is: you DON’T. You don’t ever presume that you can dictate someone’s gift giving. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    2390 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    You’d be getting a monogrammed toaster from me so fast it would make your head spin.

    Post # 14
    Member
    93 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Why don’t you just return the gifts for money or store credit? I would think that would be a simple solution…

    Post # 15
    Member
    2693 posts
    Sugar bee

    Guests are going to buy gifts no matter what you tell them.  If you sent an 8×10 card in bold red letters asking for cash, there would still be at least one guest who opts to give a gift because that’s just what they want to do.  Your card is a suggestion, not a command.  All you can or should do is politely thank them for their gift and move along with your life.

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