Post # 1
I agree that you should not dictate what people do for a wedding gift but our card states that we have everything we need so would prefer a wishing well gift if people would like to give one…we actually don’t have room in our tiny shoe-box appartment for any more stuff…2 questions:<br /><br />1) How do I politely tell people that we would prefer a monetary gift OR no gift at all rather than random stuff we will have to give away anyway (no room)<br />and<br />2) Did people ignore your wishing well card?
Post # 2
Well they might be ignoring the card because they think it is rude of you to ask for money. So I doubt anything you will say would change their mind. I guess the only thing you can do is politely accept their gift since it is ultimately up to them what they want to gift you.
Post # 3
people are going to buy you gifts. because asking for money outright is considered rude.
maybe they’ll include gift receipts?
Post # 4
You can always select a charity of your choice and request that guests donate to the charity instead of buying you a physical gift. People will understand from that, that you don’t want physical gifts. Some will give to the charity and some will give to you. Also, you shouldn’t look at it as people “ignoring” your wishing well card, because that sounds like the guests are doing something wrong by giving a physical gift, and they’re not.
Post # 5
I’ve never heard of this, but we had a registry and most people still gave cash. We did do a honeymoon registry (in addition to a traditional registry), which really ends up working the same way as cash.
Post # 6
If it is there then they are ignoring it…it is not looking at it in any particular way lol…it’s just a fact. Where I am from it is very normal and socially accepted to have a wishing well. It is not considered rude. I actually do not have any room for gifts. I think we will just donate them to charity.
Post # 7
A sincere thank you is really the only appropriate response to a gift.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
There is no polite way to say “Keep your gift, just give us the cash.” However, the good news is that if you DO make that sentiment (and your displeasure) known, people will stop giving you boxed gifts in a heartbeat. Or any gifts. Or attending your wedding.
Post # 9
I don’t think you can be choosy when it comes to gifts– if that is what they want to give you, accept it, be grateful, and that is that.
You don’t get to dicate what people give to you.
Post # 10
Julybride88: I understand your thoughts but you have to remember gifts of any kind should never be expected and only appreciated. There is NO right way to flat out ask for money. If the wishing well card is done so much in your area then most people should be familiar with it and will give you money. But if they dont, then dont be upset when someone give you a boxed gift. Try to remember the intention of the gift.
Post # 12
Is this real life?
OP, the answer to your first question is: you DON’T. You don’t ever presume that you can dictate someone’s gift giving.
Post # 13
You’d be getting a monogrammed toaster from me so fast it would make your head spin.
Post # 14
Why don’t you just return the gifts for money or store credit? I would think that would be a simple solution…
Post # 15
Guests are going to buy gifts no matter what you tell them. If you sent an 8×10 card in bold red letters asking for cash, there would still be at least one guest who opts to give a gift because that’s just what they want to do. Your card is a suggestion, not a command. All you can or should do is politely thank them for their gift and move along with your life.