People keep asking me if they are invited to our wedding.

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yeah we had probably 50 people ask us this or say they “had” to be invited to the wedding. We invited 350 people but a lot of people still just didn’t make the cut. We just said we had large families, which is true. 

Post # 3
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

futureladyharvey:  I guarantee you are not the only one. Just respond either that you have not finalized the guest list yet, ot that you are having  a very small intimate wedding, so won’t be able to invite everyone you would love to be part of your day.

Post # 4
Member
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

futureladyharvey:  this!! We have had the same thing and it drives me apesh*t! Especially because we are having a destination wedding which was intended for only CLOSE family. Now we are up another 20 people from the initial 40. People seem to think they’re close family even when they’re a twice removed step-cousin that you haven’t spoken a word to in the last 15 years!

So what we did was include the few that made sense, and are telling the rest that it’s very close family only, so we can keep it small, intimate, and affordable. If there are hurt feelings, there isn’t much else we can do, there are going to be hurt feelings no matter where you make the cut.

Post # 5
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve gotten this a lot from coworkers and friends of family members. 

Thankfully for me at least we’ve decided to elope so I have a nice out now

Post # 10
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

futureladyharvey:  I had this question a few times during our engagement and it’s just plain awkward. I know some people are truly clueless (I have to admit I did it once when I was about 21 and now I feel so guilty), but others should know better. Keep the response simple-“We are keeping things small and intimate” is usually a good response and the one I used-it was true for us! We only had 60 guests at our wedding. If they’re hurt, they will just have to get over it. Knowing someone doesn’t warrant an invitation to such a personal event. 

Post # 11
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

futureladyharvey:  Argh, cow-orkers, I mean co-workers, can be the worst. Often the safest way is to invite no one from work (or, in my case, the only girl I spent time with outside work hours). If you invite no one, at least you’re being consistent, and no one can complain. Keep repeating, “sorry, but it’s family and close friends only”.

Post # 13
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Maybe in Denmark

if money is the issue and not the people asking to go tell them its expensive and if theyd like to go they need to pay you. it’s what id do.. otherwise i agree with everyone else here lol 

Post # 14
Member
673 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Yeah. I had this A LOT!!! It was easy for me because we have less than 20 invited, so I woidle just smile when they mentioned what they planned to do at my wedding and then when they’d ask if I had anything planned, I would politely say that we’ve decided on a “small, intimate ceremony” and that I wish I could invite everyone. I avoided hurting anyone’s feelings and no one’s asked since. Lol

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