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Sort of. I had someone ask if I was using the candlesticks they bought me, where I keep them. People ask me all the time in general if I'm using my wedding presents and how often. It's slightly invasive, especially since I don't like to discuss the fact that we don't have all of them in our apartment yet.
@Ms. Purple: I don't think that's weird. She was probably excited about seeing you use the gift she picked out for you. I usually make a point of using/displaying a person's gift when they come to our house.
@Ms. Purple: LOL! No, this hasn't happened to me but my Husband's Aunt gave us six place settings of our china plus six soup bowls and I know one things for sure - she's going to expect to see it on display loud and proud when she comes to visit - but that's okay with me!
I'd find that rude. I can maybe understand surreptitiously glancing around to see if your stuff is displayed anywhere, but asking is a bit much. Especially about beer glasses, which would presumably normally be housed in a cupboard and out of sight anyway!
ETA: I don't think I'd have a problem with people randomly asking me, "So how are you liking that toaster?", but asking where their gift is in my house? Yikes.
@Moose1209: I get what you mean. I made sure I used the oval casserole dish she gave us and showed it to her when she pointed out i wasn't using her beer glasses. But instead of being happy or excited, she went on about how she bought us a gift and we weren't even using it. I guess that is what i am finding annoying.
i can see how it would be startling! maybe they're just trying to use it as a topic of conversation or something though and they probably don't mean any harm by it. now a crotchity old aunt on the otherhand might have ulterior motives...!
ETA: oh nvm, I just read your update - she's just a crotchity rude friend I guess!
@Ms. Purple: Well in that case, yeah she was kind of out of line. You gave her a perfectly legitimate reason as to why her gift was being kept in a safe place. She shouldn't have pushed the issue.
Yes people will look for or ask if you are using their gift. Yes it can be rude, especially in the case of a gift which would be stored away anyway. I had someone ask if we "christened" the sheets they gave us . . . People are rude :)
If you registered for those beer glasses and didn't even end up using them, then I think your friend has a right to be annoyed. But if they were just a random gift, then I think she's the rude one.
I've never been asked about gifts people gave me.
Although, if I went to someone's house, I would look for the wedding gifts I gave them.. but just to see if they are using it. (Really, to make me happy that I at least bought them a good gift.) I would never ask someone about the gift, though.
Its a bit invasive way to phrase it. I even registered for a few things and after we got all our gifts together we realized we probably didn't need everything (for example, the platter that went with our dishes set and another silver platter).
We've never been asked if we were using anyone's wedding gift. But that could be in part because I told every person in their thank-you note that we were using the presents they gave us, because we were. We made a point of putting every gift to use in the weeks after our honeymoon, and still do.
If I were a guest at someone's house and I'd given them something as obviously useful as beer glasses and they weren't visible, honestly, I'd be a little bit hurt. (Especially if they had been married for several months, which it appears that you have.) However, I'd never say anything about it. Sounds like your guest was very rude. But in the future, maybe when you have guests over for a function at which their gift would be useful (like the beer glasses), you could make an effort to get it out and have it available.
gosh, i couldnt remember who gave us what but i know most of them were butt ugly and not useful (we didnt register because we didnt want gifts and eloped). i put them in the back of my car and gave them to a girl i work with who just moved into her first home and donated the rest
at least OP had a good response
I think it is only natural for people to want to know that their gift is being used. I like to know that gifts I give are being enjoyed rather than a big waste of my money. I would, however, have no issue is someone told me they took something back to get something else. At least they got something they really enjoyed out of it, rather than collecting dust on a shelf.
Wow, that would be annoying if she was complaining about your not using her gift! Was it something off your registry?
We haven't had anyone ask us, but we do have a couple of non-registry gifts on display in our house because the people who gave them to us come by frequently. And it's frustrating because I really don't like either gift, and they aren't just little knick knacks we can tuck away...
But storing items are a pretty good reason not to have them out and about! I have friends who've just passed their second anniversary and most of their gifts are still being stored at the parents - waiting until they get a house and have room to store and use all their nice new things!
That is a little invasive i think. I personally would never ask someone where the gift is that i gave them. But maybe they didn't realize they were being rude.
We had a different situation but it still involved people questioning us. My husband is in podiatry school (pretty much same thing as med school) so we are living near his school. We plan on moving closer to home in 2 years when he will start residency. So until then we are storing our china and most the wedding gifts at my parents house. This to us was the best option because we still wanted to register for things that we would enjoy and use.. just a couple years from now when we get a more permanent residence and don't have to worry about moving over and over again (we have moved 5 times in the past year and half!!!) Anyways i had some people tell me they didn't want to buy us anything off our registry if we weren't going to take it to our now home. They defiantly voiced their disagreement with us registering! Honestly, I was shocked. I did my best to explain to them that we will be using what we registered for and are taking advantage of the occasion to receive the gifts that we otherwise would not get to enjoy. Maybe not everyone agrees with this delayed "usage" it but when we buy a permanent home 2 years from now we will enjoy unpacking and using our wedding gifts.
I do not agree with questioning people's registries and what they do with the items. You as a guest have the option of spending as much as you like on whatever you like.
i dont think she meant any harm, its nice to know if people are actually using the gift you bought them.
@puppymom2006: wow, i can't believe someone asked that! now i'm really happy that i didn't register for sheets and bedding!
@bride123: & @NixLapi: the beer glasses were off our registry. and we do plan to use them once the renovations are done. i just figured it would be nice to keep them clean and new, rather than collecting plaster/drywall dust from the walls/ceiling we're taking down.
@Allyser: i absolutely agree with you. I don't know why people would hesitate to buy household items for you, i mean your gonna get use out of it at some point. We had friends who also registered, in hopes of using their items when they've bought their home. In our situation we have the house, but its old and needs alot of renovation. So while we renovating, i don't see the point in taking out some of our nice new items that will just get dirty from the reno.
@tksjewelry: its funny that you mentioned the exchanging of gifts. this person's boyfriend actually asked us how many of our gifts we ended up 'returning' in exchange for cash. we ended up keeping all of our gifts since we registered for it and actually need it, but i do agree it is good to get items that are useful at the end of the day.
@LittlestBirds: we have been married for several months, but we've been renovating since we got back from our honeymoon. our friend also knows this and has seen our house without walls and ceilings, so i'm a bit suprised she wasn't more understanding of the situation.
I hope people don't do that to us! We didn't register and didn't have a shower specifically because we didn't want or need any boxed gifts. We still got a few, and they were quickly returned. If any of those people come by and look for their gifts, they'll be SOL.
On the other hand, for anyone who gave us money, we can walk them around and show them all of the renovations we were able to make thanks to their gift! Blown-in insulation in the attic coming on Saturday, yay!!
I hope nobody does this to me. We are trying to use stuff but it's hard in a small condo. I thought we'd have a house shortly after the wedding and it's not working out that way. Ugh.
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When we hosted thanksgiving this past November, a friend of ours actually asked where the beer glasses she and her bf gave us were, when he was looking for a beer mug. Then she went on to inquire about the china i'd registered for! Kinda shocked but i had a feeling this was coming, i explained that her gifts were in the basement since we've been renovating, to keep them clean/new and how our china actually isn't in yet, so we are still waiting.
anyways, the more i think about what happened the more it annoys me.
anyone else have people ask about the gifts they got?