(Closed) People not RSVPing

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

None of our good friends responded either, or family for that matter…so annoying. Actually what was more annoying was getting a few response cards in the mail yesterday…wedding is in a week! And we submitted our final head count two weeks ago!

Post # 4
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I absolutely understand how you feel and empathize completely.  We are date twins and I am still chasing after 4 friends who have not responded.  It can be absolutely frustrating and I am just trying to not dwell on this!! Good luck and happy RSVP chasing. 

Post # 5
Member
3982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We have 2 weeks until our RSVP deadline and I am missing 75% of them. And most of those are local!

Post # 6
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I understand you ladies’ frustrations. I am planning to have a plated meal for our reception, and FMIL told me that RSVPs are just not done here! I had a minor internal meltdown. I guess etiquette doesn’t have as much meaning as it used to.

Post # 7
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Most of those closest to us and family didn’t RSVP… My sis sent hers like the week of the wedding AND rsvp’d for TEN. lol talk about just for kicks!

Really though they kinda assume their spot and when you call they’re like “OF COURSE! We wouldn’t miss it for ANYTHING!” and you’re like “well why couldn’t you put the already stamped RSVP back in the mail then?!” lol

Just make you’re round of calls know that most people are just too busy to even realize and don’t let it makde you think they don’t care… b/c they do 😉

Post # 8
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hi hun, snap – I understand totally too..the wedding planning process has been an emotional experience with ups and downs, and we have certainly learnt a lot about who our real true friends are through several dissapointments about people we thought were good friends not RSVPing at all after receiving the invitation months ago, and us texting and emailing to chase..so rude and saddening that people can’t even tell you yes or no. We have also gone through it with our hen & stag do planning – people we thought were our friends not even responding! After the wedding one things for sure – we will concentrate on being there for our true friends who were genuinly happy and there for us through the wedding planning..the others – it’s sad but also good that we learn now and saw their true colours I guess. Seems true friends are hard to find and a wedding brings out the best and worst in people and shows who you can count on. Hugs to everyone and try not to let it get to you too much – i know its hard when you are in the middle of it all at the most exciting time of your life and people let you down. Hugs x

Post # 9
Member
3118 posts
Sugar bee

I think this is a ridiculous situation. Especially what Thrakena said, even if it is not done, if you receive one in the mail, send it back! How difficult can it be to circle something and put it in the mail box, you don’t even have to get a stamp!

Post # 10
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ugh I know how you feel..our RSVP deadline is in 6 days and only 1/3 of our guests have responded. Why is it so difficult to do? I know people are busy but, c’mon! It’s ridiculous. We are still waiting on several who we are 99% will come but why can they reassure us? I know it’s frustrating but try not to take it personally. Some people are just space cases or just lazy.

Post # 11
Member
2246 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yeah weddings help you see who is really your friend.

Post # 12
Member
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@OrchidLove:A LOT  of people RSVPd on the RSVP by date. Like 5% responded before then, we are still waiting on about 25% of our RSVPs and the RSVP date passed almost 2 weeks ago.

 

That’s why we made the RSVP date early.

 

 

EDIT: I don’t understand why people say weddings make you realize who your real friends are. I have some real friends who just can’t make it. Maybe I’m just lucky.

 

Post # 13
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You certainly do learn who your friends are!  I had one woman who said she’d text me THE DAY BEFORE THE WEDDING and let me know whether she and her husband were coming.  I know she’s busy, but seriously?!?!?  Nobody, save the parents of small children or ER workers are busies than a bride the day before her wedding!

I also almost assumed an aunt and cousin who hadn’t rsvp’ed (after sending them messages) weren’t coming (they live 350 miles away).  No, they were coming and had booked hotel rooms, just hadn’t bothered to tell me *banging head on wall*

 

 

Post # 14
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m worried about this for my RSVPs also, but I agree with ellabee — whether or not friends/family fail at RSVPing doesn’t seem like a good indicator of how good of a friend someone is. I know it’s really annoying and seems inconsiderate, but they probably just don’t realize how stressful it is to plan a wedding.

A few years ago I didn’t RSVP to my friend’s wedding on time because it didn’t occur to me that RSVPs are super important. I only learned that once I got engaged myself and became submerged in wedding land.

Someday they’ll learn for themselves (and hopefully start RSVPing on time! lol)

 

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