(Closed) People-Pleasing Woes and my mom doesn’t like my dress

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t live near my family right now, so I’m feeling okay about the people-pleasing part of me.  But when I go home to visit or to do wedding stuff, I feel the same way…….except it’s FI’s family!! haha. His papa sure has a lot of opinions and some negative things about just about everything.  It’s SO not easy to deal with and I get that! and people wonder why some brides become bridezillas…………….  🙂

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

yikes… it sounds super frustrating!!!!  firstly, stop asking everyones opinion and stop telling people details.  if they dont know they cant bitch and you wont get upset – if anyone asks anything just say “you’ll have to wait until the wedding day and be surprised”

im sorry your mum doesnt like the dress but who cares – you do and your sister agrees, really – would you wear your  mums clothes?  people have different tastes so forget about it and remind yourself how wonderful you felt and looked when you first saw your dress

sending hugs and positive vibes!

 

Post # 5
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I know wht it’s like to want to have support from your Mom and not get it. I’m an older bride and I’ve been married before, so my parents are not all that excited and have told me that straight to my face. To be honest, they really weren’t that into it the first time either.

I’m having tons of fun planning because I don’t share details with anyone except my MOH and my FMIL when she asks.

This is your wedding. Do what you want and have fun with it. Don’t leave room for regrets. You can’t control others’ behavior, but you can control yours and you can have the wedding you want! Hope she comes around, but if she doesn’t, at least you’ll have done what makes you feel good:-)

Post # 6
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I would stop talking to people who don’t matter (i.e. everyone except your fiance) about your wedding, if that’s the way they are going to behave. It doesn’t matter what your uncle thinks about your bar!!! I’m sorry about your mum and the dress, I’m sure that stung, and I reckon she’ll come around anyway once she sees you in it all glowy and bridey. Share with the people who care (in a positive way I mean!) and I’m sure you’ll start feeling better 🙂

Post # 7
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Go dress shopping by yourself, it’s a liberating experience. Also try and remember no matter what you do there will be whiners at your wedding! Just do your best to provide food and drink (whether it be free or iimited or whatever!) and go ahead and please yourself a little.

Post # 8
Member
888 posts
Busy bee

I know what it is like to not have your mom’s support – I have a different situation but I am sure if my mom were involved she’d hate my dress, my ideas about the wedding, the whole thing.

The important thing is what makes YOU happy.  And I honestly would love to see your dress, but I don’t even need to see it to know that it is absolutely beautiful b/c you love it so much!

Besides, have you ever seen a bride and thought “oh, i don’t like her dress?” even if the dress is not your personal style?  You think “she looks so beautiful and happy”!

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