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People pretend that Groomzillas don't exist...

posted 2 years ago in Grooms/men
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    1.
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    Blushing bee
    Lizaan    August 13, 2011   The Netherlands

    People pretend that Groomzillas don't exist... :  wedding groomzilla 257578 It's not just us!

    It's not fair. Sure being female makes us prone to taking our wedding planning more seriously. But in a world full of metrasexuals is it wise to only add the "zilla" after the word "bride".

    I can tell you, I have one living with me! He's seeing the wedding as a "business plan" and I can't move forward without his so-called "lists"! I mean, seriously! I have almost 2 years to dream and every time I do he tells me that I'm not sticking to the list! Gah!

     
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    Bee Keeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Hahaha, i love that cake topper. Tell the dude to chill and maybe read Mr. Mango's posts--he seems to be a pretty laid back groom who's still on top of things

     
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    tea       norcal

    hahaha. i love it. i actually had a run-in with a groomzilla...ugh, totally not okay. hahaha. i think it's just that they're rare and boys totally get the benefit of the doubt. so not fair!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    cinemaparadiso    July 16, 2015  

    Wow, I'd remind him that a wedding is a union of TWO people and you want some input, too! And I love the picture :)

     
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    Helper bee
    Circus Peanut    October 9, 2010  

    Ah, my honey was a Groomzilla at first too. He was determined to have his 'vision' for the wedding reception, which did not match my initial 'vision' (he wanted the Anti-Reception and I said hey, if it's don't broke, don't fix it, let's just go traditional.)

    What seemed like this "Big Thing" at first ended up being nothing much, once we got past it. I really think that with a lot of today's career men, they are used to doing things on their own. The idea that they are now part of a partnership and not Team Leader of their own life can be scary to them, and since often the wedding is the first big thing you collaborate on as a couple, this is where those emotions rear their heads!

     
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    Helper bee
    Miss Sequoia    May 21, 2011   Berkeley, CA

    Oh, that's frustrating! I'm sorry you are feeling steamrolled. Hopefully he'll realize as you talk about it more that you actually have some ideas and dreams, too -- and that you happen to be one of TWO Co-Chairs on this particular committee!

    In our case, he's more "zilla" than I am -- as far as that's even possible, considering we're super busy with work, etc.

    Luckily for both of us, I have not been dreaming of my wedding since I was five -- probably because I'm a cross-cultural kid, so I had no idea what either wedding was supposed to look like! This is good, because I'm beginning to realize my FH definitely has a dream wedding in his head! Now, he might not put it that way, but he definitely has a vision -- it's kind of adorable. After hearing all the talk about uninvolved grooms, I'd rather debate the finer points of a venue with my FH than have to convince him it actually matters.

    Case in point -- yesterday, we had this conversation:

    Miss Sequoia: "Well, at least we don't really have to plan until next summer."

    Mr. Redwood: "Wait, don't we have to start planning this winter?!" (to get a particular venue on the date we want).

    Sometimes hard for me (like when he tells me what I should be wearing! Excuse me?), but when I step back -- Awww! He cares. He really cares.

     
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    RecessionistaBride    January 28, 2012  

    Oh my FI is the same way.. not really about the wedding but he's all about lists & plans. If I ever deviate from the list he gets his panties in a twist.

    MANzilla's totally exist!!

     
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    Worker bee
    MonicaRamirez    6/18/2011   San Jose, CA

    I live with the species known as the Everyday Manzilla!  We're workin on it though...Wink

     
    9.
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    Blushing bee
    Lizaan    August 13, 2011   The Netherlands

    Hehe. Thank you everyone for your feedback!

    FI and I have come to a bit of an agreement now. Apparently he was freaked out by my blog because I posted things that were not in our (not yet existing) budget. He thought that I was leading my family to certain expectations of the wedding and he was scared that I'd end up being disappointed.

    I told him that my blog is just me looking at pretty pictures and sharing it. I don't WANT anything yet. It's way too early and the people who know me well enough realise this so they aren't expecting anything either.

    Once this was settled we decided we needed a middle point. Because he's really into planning the wedding too but his idea of a wedding is completely different to mine. So he's now starting a wedding blog too (lol) with all the things he thinks that guys would like in a wedding. It will be like the evil twin of my blog.

    We are going to stop are stupid arguements and will both "dream up" a couple of ideas and post them online. Once we both agree on something, or mix and match two ideas, we will continue down the road. We hope to have settled this by January at any rate. Smile

     
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    Helper bee
    nature_girl    July 10, 2010  

    I can testify too, sisters.

    And I think CircusPeanut has a point...guys like my FI are very independent. My Fi has a lot of experience leading, planning, directing, orchestrating, and he tends to treat our wedding like another one of his projects.

    He also is more concerned about things looking impressive/a certain way, than I am. That's where the metrosexual thing comes in.

    Sometimes I love how hard he works to get things done nicely for our wedding.

    Other times I want to yell at him to BACK OFF!!!! This would be one of those times (as you'll see from my other post in "Emotiona.")

    Nice to know I'm not the only one!

     

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