Post # 1
sooo our families are throwing us an engagement party on may 20th, and with every day closer i get calls, texts, and emails from the guests asking if we’re registered anywhere. i never know what to say, since i had no plans on registering until we were closer to the wedding (sept ’13). i just politely tell them were not registered yet but then i kind of feel like that makes us seem like we’re expecting money, when in reality i didnt even think people gave gifts for that kind of party.
is registering for the engagement party a normal thing now?
Post # 3
I don’t think so but maybe this is regional? We’re in the mountain West and definitely not common out here.
Post # 4
I read the title, and said “HUH!?” and continued to Huh all the way through your post. I’ve never heard of anyone registering for an engagement party. Are they confused thinking this is somehow a wedding shower?
Post # 5
I’ve never heard of someone registering for an engagment. Maybe they’re just asking where your wedding registry is, assuming you’ve already registered? We were engaged for only 4 months and I wasn’t at all expecting any engagement gifts. A few people brought some kitchen odds and ends and picture frames. If people want to bring gifts I think they should just pick something out and bring it.
Post # 6
I think I read in some wedding planning/etiquette book that you can actually register in advance of all pre-wedding parties… or some people may have separate registries for each (a friend of mine had a wedding shower registry at victoria’s secret separate from her wedding registry)
I think if people are asking, you should put one together if you have time. It doesn’t need to be the china yet…but like some nice wine or home goods?
Post # 7
@Oo_mrsmay: ha. so this may be a regional thing as PPs have alluded too (I’m also from LI). we were were also inundated with emails and texts asking where we were registered, despite kindly requesting no gifts. we did finally wind up registering, just to make it easier for our guests. we took care to register only for small things, $20-$50 and even then got many “why didn’t you put larger things on your registry” comments. it’s totally up to you, but if your guests are ASKING for a registry i don’t see the harm in creating one.
Post # 8
I had no idea either, so I went to bed beyond and asked about it. They said it was uncommon so I registered for the wedding and figured if anyone asks -ll tell them where I’m registered for the wedding.
Post # 9
yea im just as confused. we’re in NY, and i noticed some other girls i know who are also recently engaged and still in the happy freak out mode (which im not) are posting on FB that they’re registering and such.. and im really like “hmm..”
when i asked my mom and Future Mother-In-Law they both said that people usually give money and i shouldnt register.
Post # 10
I think anytime a party is thrown in honor of someone, many guest may feel the need to purchase something for them and not show up empty handed for some free food and a party. My Mother-In-Law wanted us to start our wedding registry before our engagement party so people could buy stuff if they watned to, but we were gifted with cash and gift cards for it instead.
Post # 11
I’ve never heard of that, I would just let the guest know you will have one closer to the wedding date.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I was just in the same situation and when people asked me where I was registered, I told them it was just an engagement party and we weren’t expecting gifts. They all brought gifts anyway, mostly cash.
Post # 13
Must be regional (NY/NJ in the house), I have always brought gifts to engagement parties. My fiance and I asked that an engagement party not be hosted for us, but my in-laws insisted that we still register IMMEDIATELY. Seriously, we were registered months before we had a date for the shower. In the time period between the engagement and registering (about a month or so), we received lots of crystal and Lenox tchthokes in the mail… gorgeous, and we’ve put them to good use, but not items we would have selected ourselves. If people want to give gifts, they’re going to give them whether you are registered or not. Especially to an engagement party in the northeast.
Post # 14
I had my engagement party a couple of months ago. Several people asked where we were registered, so I made a sparse registry on Target and Macy’s websites just for the event. In the end, everyone gave us giftcards/cash.
Post # 15
It is pretty common here in Australia. But here most people have engagement parties and we don’t really do engagement pictures sessions. I think it is just a location thing!