People want to bring dates…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

They’re probably not exactly excited about attending a wedding alone. 

Post # 4
Member
8418 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@elliptical2013:  I let my guests bring whoever they wanted.  Couples were invited by name, everyone else was given a +1, so I didn’t run into this issue.  I think you just need to cite the venue capacity as the reason you can’t allow it.

Post # 5
Member
6504 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it’s okay that you don’t let them bring guests but I really think you should change your attitude about why they want to bring a guest. I never asked to bring guests to weddings when I wasn’t invited with a +1 but I always wished I could bring someone. Not to impress anyone or push marriage but rather because I enjoy having a date to dance with and I don’t like attending weddings on my own.

Post # 6
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@elliptical2013:  I’m not really clear on who you did let bring a date, and who you didn’t?

Is it the single cousins, aunts, uncles, wedding party, etc who are asking?

Post # 7
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@solidarity:  +1. I wouldn’t attend a wedding alone. If you elope, everything is all about you and you can do whatever you want. If you choose to have a wedding, then guests and their comfort need to be a priority. Whether you know my partner or not, if you want me there, he is going to be there too. Otherwise, you get neither of us. Couples are a social unit whether they are engaged, married, common law, or dating. Plus, people are social beings and no one wants to attend a wedding alone!

Post # 11
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@elliptical2013:  …the majority of weddings have lots of people the couple hasn’t met because it is someone important to one of their guests. If your primary concern is yourself (which is fine) then stick to your current method. If you want to accomodate your guests and have more of them attend, you may want to consider a policy that allows them to have the most fun possible.

If you try and think of it from a different perspective, I am giving up part of my weekend to sit through a ceremony. Fine, that’s cool. Then I have to go to a party with a bunch of people I don’t know and spend money on a gift…and I can’t bring my partner. So, I’m all dressed up, it’s an evening out, and I’m alone. I just wouldn’t go. It wouldn’t be fun at all.

Post # 12
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

DH once RSVP’d no to a family wedding because I wasn’t invited–and we’d only been dating for 3 months!

That being said, my sister’d been with her BF for 6 YEARS at our wedding, and he wasn’t invited. And she was fine with that!

So I’d reccommend they suck it up!

Post # 13
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@elliptical2013:  my FI invited friends and relatives that i have never met.  i am ok with this.  i don’t see the big deal not knowing every single person at the wedding.

 

Post # 14
Hostess
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@elliptical2013:  Your wedding, and you have a great point, there isn’t any room. I think everyone planning a wedding gets asked that same question by guests. Some allow everyone a plus one, and some don’t.

I didn’t, our rule was marriesd, engaged, or in a long term relationship (long enough that I know about it by the time I am creating the guest list anyways). I had single guests ask to bring date, I told them no. In my mind I wanted to say “no you can’t. This is a wedding, not a time for you to have a dinner date with someone. I don’t want to waste a spot on my limited guest list for someone I don’t know, and you’re not even serious with..that spot is more usueful to someone I rather be at my wedding”. Of course that was in my mind. 

 

Also I made some exceptions, like a friends who was coming from far away, I told her or him they could bring someone since they had to stay for the wedding more then a day. I gave them this option because I knew Icouldn’t personally entertain them the whole time, so they need someone to hang out with. 

Post # 16
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it’s fine to invite only people you know well, but you also have to accept that some people will not attend because of it. I personally wouldn’t go alone.

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