Post # 1
First of all I want to say how much I love weddingbee, this board has let me get out all of my wedding talk so I don’t end up talking about it day and night to my friends/family which I know would drive them crazy!
I’m having a very small wedding 50-60 people in total. My single cousins, aunts, uncles, and both MOH’s and all groomsmen are NOT bringing their SO’s.
The only people that I’m inviting to bring dates are people who are engaged, married, or are living together.
Everyone else has been in long term relationships etc or recently dating but I’ve never met or spent any significant time with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I don’t know their SO’s all that well.
Everyone invited to my wedding is someone I’ve known for 5+ years and still interact with very frequently and see myself keeping in touch with for the rest of my life.
Since it is a tiny wedding, at a small venue that can only accomodate 50-60 anyway, that’s how I’ve responded to inquiries about bringing dates.
I’m not sure how I can be more accomodating, these people who aren’t bringing dates are friends that hang out in the same circles so they won’t be lonely. I feel like my friends are just really pushing for a free romantic date with their current partner. I.e. girls want to get some guy to start thinking of the future, guys want to impress whatever.
Post # 3
They’re probably not exactly excited about attending a wedding alone.
Post # 4
@elliptical2013: I let my guests bring whoever they wanted. Couples were invited by name, everyone else was given a +1, so I didn’t run into this issue. I think you just need to cite the venue capacity as the reason you can’t allow it.
Post # 5
I think it’s okay that you don’t let them bring guests but I really think you should change your attitude about why they want to bring a guest. I never asked to bring guests to weddings when I wasn’t invited with a +1 but I always wished I could bring someone. Not to impress anyone or push marriage but rather because I enjoy having a date to dance with and I don’t like attending weddings on my own.
Post # 6
@elliptical2013: I’m not really clear on who you did let bring a date, and who you didn’t?
Is it the single cousins, aunts, uncles, wedding party, etc who are asking?
Post # 7
@solidarity: +1. I wouldn’t attend a wedding alone. If you elope, everything is all about you and you can do whatever you want. If you choose to have a wedding, then guests and their comfort need to be a priority. Whether you know my partner or not, if you want me there, he is going to be there too. Otherwise, you get neither of us. Couples are a social unit whether they are engaged, married, common law, or dating. Plus, people are social beings and no one wants to attend a wedding alone!
Post # 8
Its that these friends told me they wanted to bring a date because they want some kind of proposal or asking to move in together, my girlfriends who are recently seeing someone, a guy friend of my fiance who has started dating someone.
They told us these details
Post # 9
Its my single/dating friends that want to bring a date.
Ive never really interacted with their new partners and these friends know each other as we hang out in the same circles so its not really attending a wedding alone.
Post # 10
I don’t understand why I would want to invite someone I don’t know to my wedding?
Its a very small wedding 50-60 people, 30 of them are immediate/close family relatives and the other half are friends we interact with daily maybe weekly basis.
Why would I want a random stranger that I’ve never spoken to when everyone I’ve invited so far are people I’ve either known since birth or have known for a very long time and are the closest friends and family?
Post # 11
@elliptical2013: …the majority of weddings have lots of people the couple hasn’t met because it is someone important to one of their guests. If your primary concern is yourself (which is fine) then stick to your current method. If you want to accomodate your guests and have more of them attend, you may want to consider a policy that allows them to have the most fun possible.
If you try and think of it from a different perspective, I am giving up part of my weekend to sit through a ceremony. Fine, that’s cool. Then I have to go to a party with a bunch of people I don’t know and spend money on a gift…and I can’t bring my partner. So, I’m all dressed up, it’s an evening out, and I’m alone. I just wouldn’t go. It wouldn’t be fun at all.
Post # 12
Darling Husband once RSVP’d no to a family wedding because I wasn’t invited–and we’d only been dating for 3 months!
That being said, my sister’d been with her Boyfriend or Best Friend for 6 YEARS at our wedding, and he wasn’t invited. And she was fine with that!
So I’d reccommend they suck it up!
Post # 13
@elliptical2013: my Fiance invited friends and relatives that i have never met. i am ok with this. i don’t see the big deal not knowing every single person at the wedding.
Post # 14
@elliptical2013: Your wedding, and you have a great point, there isn’t any room. I think everyone planning a wedding gets asked that same question by guests. Some allow everyone a plus one, and some don’t.
I didn’t, our rule was marriesd, engaged, or in a long term relationship (long enough that I know about it by the time I am creating the guest list anyways). I had single guests ask to bring date, I told them no. In my mind I wanted to say “no you can’t. This is a wedding, not a time for you to have a dinner date with someone. I don’t want to waste a spot on my limited guest list for someone I don’t know, and you’re not even serious with..that spot is more usueful to someone I rather be at my wedding”. Of course that was in my mind.
Also I made some exceptions, like a friends who was coming from far away, I told her or him they could bring someone since they had to stay for the wedding more then a day. I gave them this option because I knew Icouldn’t personally entertain them the whole time, so they need someone to hang out with.
Post # 15
But they are not going to a party with a bunch of people they don’t know. EVERYONE knows each other. We are all close friends from college/work etc and all hang out in the same social circles.
Also I have no registry not asking for any gifts or honeymoon registry nothing.
I really just want the closest and dearest people with me on that day. We are all friends, and my other friends haven’t met X, Y or Z’s new girlfriend/boyfriend either.
Post # 16
I think it’s fine to invite only people you know well, but you also have to accept that some people will not attend because of it. I personally wouldn’t go alone.