Post # 1
My fiancé and I have been planning to get married in Jasper. We booked a venue, hired a photographer, and I recently started looking a wedding dresses.
Something about this just doesn’t feel right. I know I want to marry my fiancé more than anything, but the whole process of planning a wedding is not really what I want. To spend $20,000 on one day, to feel obligated to invite people just because we should, among many other things is just sounding draining and daunting (and I have hardly even started).
I realize eloping would cost us the deposits we have already put down, plus whatever we spend on having a very small wedding here. In the end we would save us probably $15,000.
Has anyone cancelled previous grand wedding plans to elope? Do you regret it or are you glad you did? Did you get backlash from any family and friends?
Post # 3
@FutureMrsA2014: We eloped! Got married just outside of Field, BC at Emerald Lake Lodge. Spectacular!
So I was married before. It was very uneventful, also an elopement. Went to the county clerk office, barely dressed up, went back to work. Blah. No rings, nothing. He needed my health insurance pronto, so it was just all a rush.
Then when I was engaged finally for real 10 years later to my lovely husband today, I thought, “Now’s the time to have a wedding!” But you know what going through it all was just awful. Awful family members, venue not fancy enough for some of them, spending too much money, I lost so much sleep at night thinking about stupid wildflowers in mason jars flowers and somehow pulling the whole weekend off with me being the MC. We were already thinking about backing out by then.
Then we got the news that my dad had 4-6 months to live after his long battle with cancer (the wedding was in 5 months). That was our cue to get out of it all. I already sent out STDs too. We did end up cancelling it all 4 months prior. I emailed everyone, those that did not reply got a personal phone call. Thankfully no one bought flights, but we were prepared to reimburse people.
Three months later we attempted to get just immediate family out for a wedding, but it was not working. So it was easier, less stress, more fun to elope to anywhere in the world we felt like vacationing (within reason). Canadian Rockies! We hauled our wedding clothes over the bordere – carefully packaged in a cardboard box we dubbed the “wedding box.” It was tucked in among our suitcases and camping gear. The flowers, champagne, dinner, cake, etc were all waiting for us on our wedding day.
Post # 4
@FutureMrsA2014: We haven’t eloped yet, but we will be. We did cancel a local wedding to do so (which I am still really happy about).
Post # 5
We will be eloping (possibly just parents and siblings, 8 guests total)
We had picked another venue for a wedding but we knew in our heartsthat it wasn’t for us, so we cancelled that venue.
The big traditional wedding isn’t for everyone (we also felt that even with 60 people, we were leaving people out) but if we just do parents and siblings, the people left out will understand more.
You just really have to do what is best for you guys, as its your very special day 🙂
People will always have their opinions no matter what you do!
Post # 6
We are eloping just the two of us in October this year. We were pretty far into the planning stages and had all the details finalised with a gorgeous venue and a guest list. Quite dramatically, it was literally on the way to the venue to pay the deposits that I turned to my FI and said what we had both been too afraid to voice over those first few weeks – that we were making a huge mistake. We were getting into potentially a lot of debt to feed people we didn’t really like, for a day that we didn’t want.
We did a 180 and turned our honeymoon into an elopement, and we will be getting married in Central Park with just an officiant and a photographer. Nothing had ever felt more right and I have no regrets whatsoever because I know the day will be utterly perfect.
Post # 7
That sounds really nice 🙂 We are eloping in Oct too!! We are just trying to decide whether it will be just the two of us, or whether it will be us and 8 other guests (parents and siblings) The venue we want only fits 10 people!!
Post # 8
I only regret eloping because it caused a HUGE rift in my family. My parents meant well but my mother was trying to take over my wedding and make it all about her wishes. I wanted something intimate but my mother kept trying to force my husband and I to have more than 150 people. I’m glad my elopement showed my mother what will happen if she tries to control my life or my choices. I tried reasoning with her to no avail.
When I thought of spending thousands on one day, I felt sick. I also did not want to be the centre of all that attention.
Post # 9
I was totally with you on the whole “not wanting a wedding” thing. I did it the first time… it was expensive and a pain in the azz and I was so busy I didn’t really enjoy anything.
We decided to elope but wanted something a bit more personal than the courthouse and the county courthouse where we live (outside of Philly) was only open until like 4pm on certain weekdays for weddings… and well, neither of us have enough time off to DO that. So we paid an officiant $150 and found a local photographer to do a portrait session (important you ask about portrait sessions and not ‘wedding”… the word “wedding” tacks on an extra $2000++). The photographer met us and the officiant at a park like 15 min from our house. 5 min ceremony (just the 2 of us) and about 45min of pix and we were off to our favorite place for drinks before dinner.
DH wore his suit and we got a new shirt/tie for him. And I bought a black dress on clearance at Macy’s
Post # 10
We eloped May of this year. had a private wedding on the beach in Sandals resort St Lucia. I wore a sundress and sandals and fixed my hair myself. Have you thought of maybe having a small reception after you elope? Husband and I are planning one for october. It will still be pricey (parents offered to pay) but nowhere near 20k. It was simple and stress free. Sandals arranged all the details for us. Highly recommended!
Post # 11
We “eloped” in March. Just our moms were there. Although we are still going along with the “big” wedding in August. The only reason we eloped is to have our wedding date be the same as our anniversary date (you know on the liscense). Basically our family and friends were happy about it (I’m kind of notorious with doing whatever the hell I want to do, so not really a surprise we did this lol).
My advice is, if you don’t want to have a “big” wedding now, dont. You can always have one later if you change your mind. Do what you want to do, and make sure your FI is ok with it. If the invites aren’t out there is no reason to have a “just family” wedding and make it really small and intimate and not to mention way cheaper than $20,000.
Do what you want, you’ll be more happier than doing what everyone else wants you to do. 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 12
@FutureMrsA2014: We eloped on 6/28/13 (hey date twin!) and I don’t regret it. We cancelled our post elopement reception that was costing us $5,000 to $6,000 because of family drama and planning stress and I don’t regret that either. We used the money for a honeymoon instead – so worth it! MIL had an issue about it but thankfully she had her issues quietly so it wasn’t a huge deal. My family had minor issues but overall they didn’t really care so I think we got lucky.