Post # 1
im having a DW in cancun, a 90 min flight from where we live (monterrey, mexico). in about 3 weeks so we dont have much time left
I dont know if its a mexican thing, or specifically my fi’s friends’ thing…but we’ve had major RSVP complications.Not replying, saying yes when they knew they had other commitments, saying no when theyre not sure..etc and so forth
so i finalised the numbers (46) paid the deposit, worked out who would sit where. and now im getting people saying “we can come to the wedding, hurray!”
Being English, I kind of feel ” a no is a no, you cant decide 3 weeks before”. Fi is all relaxed “hey…we’ll find another table somewhere! if it doesnt have a centrepiece so what? we’ll squeeze them in somewhere”
its not that simple! even if my venue agrees, i dont know whether to trust that they will come without their reservations being in place. but if they can change it, it needs to be changed NOW
best case scenario – i pay for the extra table, centrepieces food, they come and its lovely
worst case – i pay it and then they back out and dont make the reservation. and id be really unamused
Post # 3
@newname_99: Have you given your final numbers to your caterer? Personally, I think your best case scenerio definitely outshines your worst case scenerio. Flakey people suck, especially when it comes to wedding planning. But maybe something changed for them (prior plans fell through, financial position improved, ect) and now they can come! There is a reason they were invited in the first place. If you have room for them, I say let them come. If they can’t make it, you have 46 other guests there to enjoy your beautiful wedding day with you and your new husband. And if their food is made and they aren’t there to enjoy it, then have them put it in a doggy bag so you can enjoy it later that evening!
Post # 4
I would simply say no, blaming it on the venue. It’s silly to respond NO and then change your mind 3 weeks before the event. Stand your ground!
Post # 5
I guess it depends on who these flakey people are lol Is it someone you really want at your wedding or would you rather not take a chance on them?
Post # 6
@Brideonabudgetlauren: yes the caterers have final numbers already
and as the tables we have are nearly full ( space for 2 more). if the extra 6 people who say they can now come do come, its another table, centrepiece, chairs, the extra meals. and thats fine…but only if they come. if i add them and they dont come, i might want to beat them like a pinata (in keeping with the mexican theme hahaha)
i have a feeling fi has already said ‘the more the merrier’, i really need to check that
Post # 7
Oh dear. I guess you just sigh, spend the money, and let them come. I would not hesitate to stress the importance of the final decision on their part, as it will cause hardship on you.
Post # 9
I would tell them that the final numbers are in and can’t be changed. Too late in the game. SOunds like you’ll be a stress ball waiting to see if they actually show up, which is super uncool.
Post # 10
@crayfish: i am already a stressball haha. i need to get fi to seriously ask if they can 100% come, or if its a “well we could come…maybe” type deal.
if they can come, then awesome. these are all people i like. if not, no problem
Post # 11
I would say sorry but I can’t squeeze you in 3 weeks before the wedding. No need to drive yourself crazy for them. I don’t care what culture it is, saying yes after you had RSVP no and THREE weeks before the wedding is just plain rude!
Post # 12
@sruan: “I would say sorry but I can’t squeeze you in 3 weeks before the wedding. No need to drive yourself crazy for them. I don’t care what culture it is, saying yes after you had RSVP no and THREE weeks before the wedding is just plain rude!“
Post # 13
Update – another 2 people told me they were coming today
luckily my wedding planner said i have until monday to give final numbers for tables etc. so looks like its working out!