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I think it is shocking that people would even bring up that you are a "rude friend" for not inviting them to the wedding! You made your list guest the best way you could, and that's all there is to it.
I had only just started dating Mr.G, and we had already accepted invitations to seperate weddings. In no way did I expect that he/I would automatically be invited because we started dating. I actually met the couple whose wedding he was attending and contributed to the wedding gift, card and what not. The bride to be apologised for not being able to accomodate me, but I laughed saying as of 1 hour ago you wouldn't have been able to pick me out of a line-up, I completely understand!
Some people are just jerks
I actually have a "friend" who isn't inviting me to her already HUGE wedding but has made comments that I had better invite her to mine... WTF? I just don't get some people.
I had a friend who got mad at a mutual friend of ours, was SO insulted that she wasn't invited to our other friend's wedding. They were both invited to mine, and got along just fine, but now the friend who was mad is not inviting the other one to her wedding!?! Two wrongs?
We didn't invite one of DH's friends and his fiancee because they weren't actually close to us all and only knew each other through the other friends who were actually invited to our wedding. So basically, in that large group, only the one couple wasn't invited. I honestly didn't think anything of it because I had literally only met them briefly once and they were rude to me, so I didn't think they'd be mad about not getting an invite.
WEll, they were mad. They had a huge wedding after ours and invited everyone they had ever met except for DH and I. Literally all of DH's friends went to the wedding and not us. I know that's sort of what happened to them for our wedding, but our list was much smaller in general, we had a lot of cut off points. This couple didn't have any of those cut off's. The kicker is the next time I saw them, I actually went out of my way to say congratulations to be polite and the girl didn't even make eye contact with me, pretended she didn't hear and turned to talk to someone else. WOW.
no one has actually said anything to us...i felt really really bad about not inviting some of my friends/coworkers, but they seemed to understand....
actually that's not totally true. one of hubby's former best friends was really hurt that he wasn't invited, but that was a bigger issue about their friendship falling apart, not our wedding specifically....
@michkarose: i absolutely agree, some people are just jerks.
@moderndaisy: i know exactly what you mean by people pretending you aren't there! Same thing happened to me with someone i didn't invite (old highschool friend). She invited me to her wedding, I didn't invite her to mine and all of a sudden we're not friends. No hello or hi, or answering questions, etc.
We didn't invite any of DH's step-relatives, with the exception of his step-father, who was his mother's escort. The two of them were absolutely livid with us and called us up on several occassions to insist we change our minds. They even tried guilting my parents into changing our minds for them.
I'm pretty sure they'll be angry about it forever, but the actual step-relatives themselves probably would be very understanding.
A few of hubby's none close friends girlfriends actually were angry that they didn't get invited and talked junk about us to other friends. I never even met the GF's and the friends weren't close friends at all, they were more friends of his friends.
Hubs extending family is still annoyed at us as well for not inviting their kids. Oh well. I think it's incredibly rude that people get mad, angry, and even bring it up that they weren't invited to a wedding. A close friend of mine got married over the summer, I didn't think I would be invited, I knew they were on a small budget, I was thrilled to get an invite, but I never would have been mad if I didn't get an invite, I still would have given her a gift regardless. Weddings cost money, people seem to forget that.
Yea some of the hubs friends from school and some on and off again friends of mines and their families stilll don't talk to us for not inviting them. We also didn't invite his brother cuz we do not get along with the man or his gf or any of her family. They'll be ok. I can't please everybody nor am I willing to try. My life is not going to end because they don't talk to me.
Some of DH's uncles/aunts were upset about our "no children under 18" rule and refused to even RSVP for the wedding (one actually sent their's in with a ? for the RSVP). I think it hurt DH more than he admitted, but it kind of worked out because we now are no longer attending any family events on that side. His theory "If they didn't care enough to even RSVP, we don't need to subject ourselves to hang out with them."
We didn't invite my Granddad's sister because I hadn't seen her since my early twenties (I'm 31) and she wasn't close to me when I was younger. However, we did invite all of my Grandmother's siblings because I saw them so much when I was younger. Anyway, this aunt found out about the wedding, questioned my Grandparents about not being invited, told them she felt hurt, and then asked for our address. Oops! I never even thought to invite her.
Also, I didn't invite my other grandparents' siblings because we didn't have a lot of money and were paying for it ourselves. I knew we'd upset people, but that's part of a wedding.
We havent had anyone say anything after the fact (before was a different story!) but the one sucky thing is we have both become closer with certain friends who are now engaged and we hope to be invited to their weddings but they werent invited to ours because we hadnt gotten close to them by the time our invitations were sent out!
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Now that your wedding has come and gone, do you find that the people you didn't invite to your wedding are STILL peeved about it?
Maybe its just that I had a very small wedding (70ish people), but my parents and I still have friends coming up to us, asking how could we have no invited them. A good friend who didn't bother to return my calls while we were engaged, told me i was a rude friend for not invite her to my wedding! I'm not gonna invite people who don't return my calls or that I don't talk to regularly.
anyways, any other married bee's in the same boat?