Peoples reactions after you elope

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ash2510:  I was married before, but I eloped the first time.  That was 12 years aog.

For this recent marriage, since my H had not been married, we did plan and pay for a wedding, but cancelled it due to my father who was dying.  In the end we eloped several months after he had passed away, as it was much easier for everyone.  They were not particularly excited to go to our wedding.  I am not sure why.  I figured they did not see the first one, but alas they were all the same and I was the one who was different.  I think weddings are just big hassles for all else involved.

You are entitled to any wedding you wish, even if it’s not your first!

Post # 4
35 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

Evertone we have told has been genuinely happy for us and very sweet.  Most have even commented that they wishe. They had eloped and saved the expense of the big wedding. 

We waited to tell people till we had some photos to share cause most people want to see pics.  

Post # 6
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’ve also been married before, but when we eloped, everyone was shocked but super happy! Both my husband and I had pretty shitty ex-spouses, so I think everyone was just really happy that we were happy. 🙂


Post # 7
2 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

For context… my husband and I were together for ten years before we got married. We told everyone who would listen that we didn’t want a big wedding, and didn’t even really want to get married. After we had gotten good and tired of everyone pressuring us to get married already, we finally had a spontaneous, tiny civil ceremony in our apartment last Spring.

My mother was furious and hurt. She refused to speak to me or my husband for a month (she actually sent a scathing email telling us not to try to contact her). She also skipped my graduate school graduation, which really, really hurt. Then she went around my family and our small town and told everyone who would listen about the Horrible Thing I Did.

When she finally agreed to speak to me on the phone, she was still furious and hurt. However, she perked right up when I suggested that she could have a party for us (and then went headlong into planning a party, just the way she wanted it). I don’t think she will ever be “happy for us” that we got married (though she is very fond of my husband – we just got married the “wrong” way).

My father was surprised, and hurt, but he kept communication open. We spoke over phone and email several times a day, every day, for a couple of weeks. He still loves us.

My in-laws were a little surprised, but then very happy for us and supportive (especially once they heard how my mother was reacting).

Extended family and friends were very supportive and positive (especially when they heard how my mother was reacting).

In spite of everything, I still believe that we had the right wedding for us. Had we spent a year planning a “normal” wedding, we would have had the exact same amount of crazy and negativity, but it would have lasted a lot longer.

Post # 8
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

DH’s mother: “Are you f***ing kidding me” 

We find it funny now, but at the time it made me cry. 

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