Post # 1
I don’t want to sound like a brat, but I need to vent. Please don’t judge me.
I love my fiancé, but I’m disappointed in my proposal and ring.
My fiancé is a romantic man, but the proposal was the opposite. His original plan didn’t work (he was going to propose at a concert, but the band didn’t play the song he was going to propose during), so he proposed in the car after the concert because he didn’t want to wait. I wish he would’ve waited and made it romantic. I wasn’t expecting an Eiffel Tower proposal, but I was expecting something more romantic than what he did.
My ring is beautiful. It’s small and it isn’t my usual style, but I love how it looks on me. But I found out it isn’t an engagement ring (it’s listed as a promise ring) and my fiancé bought it on sale. He spent all of his money on it (he only has a part-time job and he doesn’t make much money), but I can’t help but have ring envy when I see women with big, flashy rings.
Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be more excited to be engaged, but am I wrong for feeling like this? Were you disappointed in your proposal and/or ring? How did you deal with your disappointment?
Thank you for letting me vent, Bees!
Post # 3
I told my husband when we first started dating that I wanted a grand public proposal.
He proposed over dinner at our house.
I told my husband I wanted original ring when he asked about a year prior.
I received a family heirloom.
I love my ring and I love my proposal. I was confused at first – it wasn’t what I expected. But, the story and the ring I cherish. Genuinely.
I hope you find this feeling.
Post # 4
My engagement wasnt anything special but I could care less! My FI proposed in our kitchen after I had just woke up (was litterally still in my jammies) around 5pm because I was on night shift at the time. I love my ring. Its the most amazing ring I have ever seen and its SO unique! I picked out the band but he picked the stone and he knocked it out of the ballpark. I think that we ladies work up an engagement in our heads and except something amazing. He didnt do some elaborate plan and I didnt care. We are getting married in a few months and I cant wait!
Post # 5
I understand being disappointed with your proposoal… I think it happens a lot and you just have to look forward and be excited that you’re starting a new chapter of your life, and try not to focus too much on how he asked. The part that I’m having trouble understanding is the disappointment with your ring.
It seems kind of odd to me that you loved your ring and thought it was beautiful… until you found out it was listed as a ‘promise ring’ and was on sale.
That grates on me a little bit. You know what the difference between a promise ring and an engagement ring is? Physically, there is none. They’re different names for the same thing- a ring. The difference is in what they are used for. Yours was used in a proposal. So yes, it is a ‘real’ engagement ring.
The fact that it was on sale doesn’t make it ‘cheap.’ It means that with the money your FI has, he was able to buy you the best ring he possibly could. Nobody will even know it was on sale unless you go around telling people.
Your FI spent all his money on it. I think you should try to appreciate the ring you’ve been given, since at first you said you thought it was beautiful. Otherwise you risk deeply hurting his feelings. If several years down the line you guys are in a better place financially and can afford it, you could approach him about getting an upgrade if you still feel it’s necessary.
Post # 6
My husband opened the ring box and shoved it across the table when I was checking a text message and said, “Will you marry me?”
I don’t know if I’m just abnormal, but I didn’t need anything flashy, ring or proposal. I just wanted the love of my life.
Post # 7
Promise rings have always confused me a bit… why get a promise ring, why not just an E-ring? It’s all marketing to me…
He wants to marry YOU. It’s an engagement ring 🙂
Do you have any pics?
Post # 8
That’s so true and I’d never thought of it like that. I guess I’m disappointed because I can’t help but wonder if he only bought it because it was on sale. I just want to know that he bought it because he loved it and knew it was “the” ring, not because it was on sale. Does that make sense? Either way, I don’t want an upgrade because this is the ring he proposed with and it will always be special to me because of that.
Post # 9
Sounds like he did the best he could.
Post # 10
@Hyperventilate: hahahaha my FI got down on one knee, opened the box said “will you marry me”. Of course I said yes, he closed the box then he stood up and handed me the closed box. I laughed & was like “you have to put it on my finger!!” Then he couldnt get it over my knucKle! LOL. The whole story still makes me laugh.
Post # 12
My FI never asked me out when we started dating, we just kind of decided that we were dating. I always told him he was going to have to compensate my giving me a good proposal story. He ended up just sticking the ring on my finger at the jewelery store, he never formally asked me to marry him.
At least your FI took you on a special date to propose and bought you the nicest ring he could afford.
Post # 13
My husband proposed to me while we were at home working out to P90X. I was all sweaty, tired, and confused why he chose that moment… but it worked out and we had a lovely engagement and a beautiful wedding!
You cannot change the proposal. It’s done. Lingering in disappointment will not fix anything and only cause resentment. You can accept it, move on, and plan the best goddamn wedding there ever was! 😉
And you can always upgrade your ring in the future! Good luck!
Post # 14
Again, I don’t mean to sound like a brat. I reread what I wrote and I feel like I sound like one. I love my fiancé and I would never tell him how I feel because I know it would hurt him…that’s why I’m venting here. And of course I know the proposal and the ring aren’t what’s important. Just had to make this clear!
Post # 15
@GreenSkittle: maybe an upgrade in the future?
Post # 16
I guess the way I would make myself feel better in your situation is by knowing that by sacrificing a bigger ring, I got to be engaged sooner. That means you are prioritizing moving forward with your relationship over material stuff, which is awesome!