Post # 1
My future FIL is severely allergic to perfumes. He has tried every remedy available, with limited success. He can get through church normally, but never goes on Christmas or Easter because there’s so much more people and perfume those days. I fear our wedding will be the same, and I certainly don’t want to end our reception with a trip to the emergency room (that happened a few Christmases ago).
I MUST make it clear to my guests that they can’t wear any scented products beyond deoderant to the wedding, but I’m not sure how. Can I put this information on the invitations, on the bottom and in small lettering? I would include it on a seperate card inside the invitation, but that’s one more piece of stationary I have to pay for and more weight, therefore more postage.
And how should I word the request? I was thinking “Due to allergies of memebers of the wedding party, we request that guests refrain from wearing scented products.”
Also, I’ve seen a few posts on this subject from a few years ago, and some people got nasty, saying that it was very rude to ask guests not to wear scented products. Please don’t. Sorry if it’s rude, but I’m more worried about my FIL going to the ER than being a little rude.
Post # 3
Maybe it’s something that can be spread by word of mouth? If someone calls your family or bridal party to ask where you’re registered or something like that, tell them to mention it? Or, since this will be predominately directed at the attending ladies, can you bring it up at your shower?
I agree that it’s important to get the message across for his health, so if you feel like you should mention it in the invitations, go for it. Is there another card you could put it on, like with the directions? That way it’s not on the actual invitation, but it will still be seen- and you don’t have to pay to get an extra card printed and added.
I think the wording is ok, you could probably shorten it and say “Due to wedding party allergies” or “Due to allergies in the wedding party” but that’s just because the prepositions so close together sound a bit wordy.
Post # 4
I don’t think it’s rude at all to ask guests to refrain from wearing scented products. I wish people just never wrote perfume or after shave because now often than not I get a terrible head ache from it :/
Anyways, I think your wording is good- it’s brief and lets people know why. If I were told that someone is allergic i would definitely refrain from wearing it with no questions asked (although I never wear perfume anyways).
On second thought- I might change it a bit to say perfume instead of products. Otherwise I would be worried about my shampoo and deodorant (although I’m a pretty big worrier).
Post # 5
@MrsBeck: Yes! It could end up a bit smelly if everyone is overly accomodating…although I don’t know how severe his allergies are- would something like shampoo affect him?
Are there fans or air filters that would maybe help, just in case a few people don’t pay attention?
Post # 6
I would say, “Due to allergies in the wedding party, we request that guests refrain from wearing scented perfume.”
Post # 7
Shampoo is fine, haha! It’s products that have a strong scent and linger on the wearer. Perfumes, colonges, body sprays, etc. If a few people don’t comply, it will be okay, just like church on a normal Sunday. It’s when EVERYONE wears it and there’s more people than usual, like on Easter, that he has a reaction.
Thanks for the help with the wording! I will say perfumes, cause I do hope people bathe haha!
I actually wasn’t going to give people a directions card. I feel like most people have a smartphone or GPS, so I wasn’t bothering. Every piece of stationary I cut saves me $50 to $100. Would it be odd to just write it in some nice font, print it on normal paper and stick it in with the invitations? Or just suck it up and put it on the invitations themselves?
Post # 8
@AllyV0621: you could get some cream card stock (or paper that’s a little heavier) and do it as well. Or I think the normal paper is fine as well. I think people are more likely to notice it if it’s on a separate sheet as opposed to the actual invite.
Post # 9
@MrsBeck: That is a really good point, I forgot that most people aren’t like me and read every word. They probably read the names, location and time.
Post # 10
@AllyV0621: I would include a small insert in the envelope with your invitation and NOT on your invitation.
I would very politely write a letter such as
Mr. _______ the father of the groom has a life threatening allergy to perfumes. We very kindly request hat you do not wear any perfumes to the wedding so that he can safely attend the event. We greatly appreciate your effort to making this day special and safe for us all. Thank you so much for your understanding.
Bride & Grooms name
(If you have any questions please call __________).
**I would also send another mailed reminder to guests who RSVPed yes abou a week before the wedding..
Post # 11
I have a perfume allergy and was wondering how I’d go about making it clear! Brilliant wording suggestions here, I might steal one…. Good luck to you and your FIL.
Post # 12
You could easily print something on plain cardstock to include. Surely informing people is more important than another couple of dollars in postage? Postage isn’t THAT crazy.
Post # 13
@SparkleBee11: The follow up is a great idea! Most people would surely have forgotten by the time of the wedding.
Post # 14
I would opt for purchasing a sheet of business cards that you can run through the printer, and inserting a note in each invite. I don’t think I’d name the person (they might feel embarassed by that) but I would certainly say something like “Due to a cherished memeber of our wedding party to fragrance, we kindly request that our guests please refrain from using any scented products the day of the wedding”.
Post # 15
As someone who has had to leave events, taken trips to the ER, and now developed a banana allergy due to people’s perfume I think it’s really great that you are going to the effort to make your wedding safe for your FIL. I may have to steal some ideas for my own wedding. I like the business card insert idea and the follow up too.
Post # 16
I don’t think you can stop people wearing scents. People will do it anyway reagrdless of what you put in your invite. It is probably an automatic function for a lot of women and even men putting aftershave on and they wont even remember as they hurriedly get ready for the wedding.
I think it is also opening up the flood gates to your guests to make requests to cater to their allergies. Are you in a position to to do that?
I have a perfume allergy and it never occurred to me to bother my guests with this. I took percautions for myself (since it is my allergy) and had medication on hand incase of a reaction. Just like I would have to if I went to a department store or to someone elses wedding.
I think putting the onus on your guests to ensure that 1 individual guests allergy requirements are met is a bit too much to ask of guests. I think the best course of action is for your FIL to talk to his doctor about how to handle the situation and what preventative medication he might be able to take.