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It weirds me, out too! haha. He won't be the one spending hours in labor after 9 months of carrying a human being!
I never said that phrase myself, but I found that the whole societal reaction to pregnancy is pretty dismissive of men.
If some guys clings to that one phrase as a way to feel connected to the pregnancy process, I don't think it's the worst thing in the world.
I agree that men are totally left out, and it's not fair at all. I guess I'm just a semantics freak... I also hate the term "literally" unless it's accurate! If you say you "literally had everyone decline the wedding", then you better have had EVERYONE decline the wedding! Sorry that men get left out, Mr. Bee- I'm not trying to be dismissive at all!
I say it. I don't think it's so weird. We did it together. He held my hair back when I puked. He's fed the dog for the last 7.5 months because I couldn't tolerate the food. He's done all the dishes. Baby wiggles like crazy when she hears his voice. We're doing this together (and I'm so glad of that!). I'm super happy that "we're" pregnant!
I agree it's not completely accurate, and I wouldn't suggest that I did even 1% of the work of pregnancy (that was all Mrs. Bee!). I've never said those words myself, for the same reasons.
But when I hear a woman says that phrase, I always think that is nice of her to be so inclusive!
I say "we're pregnant." I think it's appropriate as an editorial we.
Besides, I may be baking the baby, but I just can't discount my husbands contribution or commitment to this process. I'm fairly certain I'll put him through the wringer more than once in the coming months!
I think it's fine to say - it takes two to make a baby, so even though the one if carrying the child, the other person was involved in the process.
I'm with you... I don't like the phrasing. I do dismiss it because I figure they're just exciting and that's kind of cute. But still... "we" are having a baby. "we" are not pregnant.
Also agree with you on "literally."
I say both "we're pregnant" and "we're having a baby." Like DG said, he may not be carrying the baby, but he's dealing with all the side effects of me carrying the baby. I don't know, this might be something you only understand when you are pregnant.
I'd get weird looks when I said it, but I meant it. He dealt with the pregnancy just as much as I did... as the physical side effects that only I experienced were equally matched by the emotional ones that he dealt with exclusively.
It may sound weird, but it was a joint 9-month effort, and now it's a joint lifelong effort as well!
I don't like it either.
Does the father have a role? Yes.
Is his role just as important? Yes.
Is the father pregnant? Nope.
I also think "we're expecting" is nice though, "expecting" being a word that sometimes substitutes for "pregnant," but not being "pregnant." It's a more inclusive term that is still not "we're pregnant."
It's personal preference.
I don't know...I kinda like it...I would probably say "we're pregnant" just because I like the fact that we both have had a part in the process, even though i'm the only carrier :)
also a friend of mine just had a baby and someone commented that since the baby looks just like the father, he just "spit him out"...she got offended, because she was the "pregnant one" and I felt kinda sad for the father, she acted like he had no part in the process...
I'm sure when we first find out I'll ge excited and call everyone and practically yell "We're pregnant!", but after that I probably won't say it much, mostly because everyone that needs to know will already know by then.
I may have said it a handful of times but I know the hubs has not said it. He always says "She's pregnant" or "We're expecting" while points to me, lol.
I honestly don't really care whether that phrase is said or not. Those are the kinds of things at the bottom of my list of things to think about while I am going through this journey. I didn't get pregnant without him, so I don't mind including him. To each their own though.
Both my husband and I say it. Even though he's not technically growing a baby inside of a uterus, he's certainly experiencing a lot of the symptoms (both physical and mental) and challenges that go along with pregnancy. I think he desrves recognition for that.
I think 'we' is perfectly acceptable too. The baby is just as much his as it is hers. He may not suffer as much for nine months, but hopefully he is just as excited and nervous!
I think with our personalities, my DH and I won't be the "we're pregnant type." While my DH knows I'll terrorize him with mood swings, cravings, all the other fun stuff and side effects I think we just look at things a little too literally/physically....as in I'm the one with the bun in the oven, not him. Does that makes sense? Even now I'm thinking about it and confusing myself. lol I can see ourselves saying that we're waiting/or expecting our first child, but I'll definitely say "I'm pregnant" not "we're pregnant." because in terms of being pregnant, that'll definitely be me not him.
I think we'll (for better or worse) be "we're pregnant" people. I've wondered how we'll announce it to family and whatnot and it's the only one I like so far. "We're having a baby" feels like it's jinxing things so early on. (Something I NEVER would have thought of before learning just how common miscarriages are.) And to me, announcing "I'm pregnant" feels like I just went out, got some sperm and impregnated myself. Kind of crazy, I know but he really is going to play a huge part in the role and his life will change just as much as mine. So there you have it. I know it bugs a lot of people so I'll probably find other things to say but when I'm all excited? No promises. :-)
P.S. This is really not helping the wave of baby fever I've been feeling creeping up on me.
We will be a WE couple, sorry. Getting pregnant, deciding to have a baby, carrying a baby whether you agree or not is a team effort. Who is going to put up with me (already is right now as we are trying) and my mood swings, cravings, will be there when all I want to do is kill him for doing this to me? My hubs. He is just as excited to get pregnant as I am, maybe a little more. I get where the neysayers are coming from, but yep we will be a "we are expecting" couple. I've waited long enough darn it, I will say whatever I want LOL! :)
haha, WE are having a baby, WE are going to be parents, but WE decided early on that WE are not pregnant, I am! Yes, he is supporting me but he certainly isn't growing the baby so I would feel really silly saying "we are pregnant". That said, I don't have a problem when others feel differently! Its just not us and I don't think it diminishes his role in any way (people pretty much never assume I just went out and got sperm somewhere!)
I like it and I will use it when I am pregnant!
I think it is very inclusive of the dad and he should be included in the pregnancy and if it weren't for him I wouldn't be able to get pregnant.
hahaha. I've always hated that!! "we're expecting" or "we're having a baby" are great, but "we're pregnant" just bugs me.
Very interesting to see the different opinions! It seems people are solidly in one camp or the other... I asked my husband about it and he agrees with me with the "we're expecting" instead of "we're pregnant". Since so many others commented about it, I asked him if he would feel left out/not appreciated, and he was a resounding "no!". Since I obviously couldn't do it on my own, and since he is obviously not pregnant, I think we'll be sticking with "we're going to have a baby". I know that my perspective might be different because I'm not pregnant, but some mothers I've discussed this with agree, so it just must be a matter of taste. :):):)
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I'm just curious, because it came up in discussion tonight- does anyone else hate the term, "We're pregnant"? It bothers me because HE'S not pregnant, SHE is. "We're going to have a baby" is perfectly fine, because it's true! I know it's a bit neurotic, but I was just curious if anyone else feels this way.