Post # 1
Did anyone not have a personal attendant for your wedding day? If not, was it a complete disaster? I just don’t feel the need to have another person hanging around all day long, but my mom and fiance are insisting we should have one. My mom also thinks I need to have someone sit at the guest book, so that gives you an idea of what I’m dealing with. I just don’t feel the need to have tons of people doing piddly little jobs all day long. Am I being naive?
Post # 3
NO, you do not need to have one – honestly, I commend you for going against your mom and not wanting one! As if your adult guests won’t be able to figure out how to sign a guestbook without instructions, or your adult self along with your BMs won’t be able to get you ready without a personal assistant running around doing…honestly, I’m not even sure what/ I can’t imagine why it would be necessary, or how you can politely ask a friend, “Hey, so we’re not close enough I want you as a BM, but will you follow me around doing me favors all day? Or stand by the guestbook instead of partying so you can tell other adults how to write down their name?”
Not trying to offend anyone whose having either of these things, I know in some regions it’s typical and expected, but I’ve never seen either used and they just strike me as being odd.
Post # 4
I’m not having a personal attendant. I have 4 BM and I think that will be enough to keep me on track and help me with things. I do have a DOC though so I’m sure that will help with the scheduling and other related things. I will also not have anyone watching my guest book. Maybe a nice sign to explain what to do for your guest book? We’re using a thumbprint tree and will have a sign to “leaf your thumbprint”. I’m sure everyone will figure it out!
Post # 5
I thought the MOH was the “personal attendant.” You don’t need a stranger helping you get ready.
My venue comes with a day-of coordinator, so I assume she’ll help people if they can’t figure out how to sign a guestbook (but I doubt that will be needed).
You don’t need anyone else. It might even just give more stress to have extra people hovering around.
Post # 6
I had never heard of “personal attendants” before the Bee. I think you’ll be fine without one, especially if you make yourself a good day-of schedule and your bridesmaids aren’t total drama queens who won’t lift a finger on the day. Unless your mom and fiance have someone in mind who REALLY REALLY wants the job, I think it’s fine for you to say you’ve got things under control.
Post # 7
Like PPs, I always thought your BMs were your personal attendants. A lot of the time PA is the cr*p job you give the person who doesn’t make the cut as a BM, and compared to BM it’s more work and less honour. Don’t do it. (Unless you’re in a culture which always has PAs and it’s an honour).
Just have the guest book near the front door where people can see it and ushers can mention it. Or be like me and skip having a guest book althogether. I know who was there, from my memory, from the photos and from the video.
Post # 8
Thanks so much for making me feel like I’m not the crazy one for not wanting one! I have four bridesmaids who are all super helpful. And I’m not at all high-maintenance or needy, so I just can’t figure out why I would need a PA, other than to give someone else a special title. I also don’t have anyone I’m close to that I would ask to do this job.
I could MAYBE see having one if we were doing our own decorating or catering or anything like that, but we are having a very traditional wedding with highly reputable vendors. Honestly, if any questions come up from any of them, I would rather handle it myself, because the PA won’t know the right answers and she would end up having to come to me with questions. Just seems like another hassle.
Post # 9
What on earth is a personal attendant?
Post # 10
@oneofthesethings: basically, it’s someone who will fetch you water if you’re thirsty, pick up items if you forgot them, keep you on schedule, answer vendor questions and fluff your dress. I honestly thought these were bridesmaids’ tasks. Seems completely pointless to have one to me. I’m an adult and I can do these things for myself.
Post # 11
One thing to think about in terms of having someone is going to the bathroom while in your dress. If it’s difficult to lift up you need someone in there with you!!
Post # 12
Oh that’s ridiculous. I don’t even think they’re bridesmaids tasks! I had someone who did all that – the DOC that I PAID and she was worth every penny!