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You are only going to be 10 to 15 minutes from where you were, that is not a huge move and honestly that small of a drive is like a blink of an eye. I really think you are over reacting a tad on it...
I kind of did the opposite move from you and I will agree its very challenging to change your lifestyle!
You will constantly be comparing your life style of then to where it is now. In the end, with time I can promise it gets better. You will begin to grow accustom to the changes , and you might acutally find yourself liking it ;)
Best of luck!
There's NOTHING within walking distance? Or just not the amount of activity that you're used to?
I'm trying to picture an area so close to Hollywood as you said, with NOTHING within walking distance.
Maybe it's the atmosphere that makes you nervous? You're worried you'll be bored?
I tend to agree 10-15 min is an easy trade for being a homeowner. I'm sure you'll be thankfull in the long run...
PS I moved from NYC to a smaller city an hour away. I hang out in NYC all the time but I now own a home and love having a quiet calm place to call home
@Sassygrn: In LA terms 5 miles is a lot. It can take 10 minutes without traffic or 30 minutes with traffic. Basically it's a whole other world. I admit I am probably over-reacting slightly but my feelings are my feelings.
@Eva Peron: thank you! It's nice to know that I'm not crazy and not the only one who having these feelings. And I'm happy to hear that you got over it eventually. There's hope!
@DeadlyNightshade: There is NOTHING within walking distance! Absolutely nothing except other homes and a school. (you're in LA so if you're really curious about the area, PM me). I'm definitly worried about the change in life style and being bored and...settling. Right now we have everything at our fingertips so it's very easy to go out. I'm scared that when going out is a much bigger effort, we just won't and we'll end up being old home bodies.
@Meowkers: Still it is not a big distance or time frame. It is not like you are moving hours away from the hubub of activity. Sure it will be a change but NOT that big of a change.
I recently moved from an 'in' neighborhood to across town to a suburban neighborhood, so I completely understand. I just suggest finding a place you can learn to love and go with it! Although I miss living right off of the strip it is nice to be in a quieter neighborhood and being with my honey is totally worth it!
I moved my hub's from Beverly Hills/Century City into Toluca Lake. He's still not happy about it :) But as someone who grew up in the "burbs," there's a ton of awesome little nooks and crannies. We've been slowly discovering our neighboorhood; it's not the same as living in the city, but it works. But, we do spend more time on the weekends driving into the city or wherever we need to go, since all our friends are still out there. Takes more planning, and there's less spontenaity, but it's not the end of the world, and our life hasn't suffered
Oh yes! Before meeting and marrying DH, I lived in a major metropolitan area, where I owned my own townhouse and had a fabulous, rewarding, and high-paying career; wonderful friends; an amazing church family; involvement in various activites; access to all kinds of high-end shopping and terrific restaurants; and more than two-decades of history and familiarity in an area that I loved.
After almost a year of transition, where I basically had to split my life each week between two states while I waited for my house to finally sell and to wrap up my job, I finally joined DH and his children full time in my new area -- a very small town in a very rural area.
The major changes I had to make all at once (from being single with no pets and no kids to becoming a pastor's wife, stepmother of multiple kids, a pet owner, etc.; from working a demanding, exciting, well-paying job to staying at home full time until I can find some type of job here that will make use of my skills, education and talents; from having access to all of my favorite stores and restaurants to having to travel about a half hour in each direction to get to a much smaller selection of stores and many fewer restaurants; to not having my friends nearby; going from a much larger church to a much smaller church of a different denomination, etc. etc. etc.), were completely overwhelming.
Change is hard. A lot of change all at once is even more difficult. Give yourself some time to adjust and even to grieve over the loss of what you once had so that you slowly are able to enjoy the wonderful new opportunities that your new life will bring.
I also left LA for a burb, and it was tough at first. We tried to mitigate the shock by moving to a place that was still walking distance to things.
Honestly, part of it was the lifestage. We moved a year or two too early to really appreciate it at first, but now that we want to have kids soon it just makes so much more sense to be where we are.
Our interests have also changed somewhat, and we rarely go back to any of the places we used to go because we don't miss them all that much. Funny how that works out.
Of course, my friend ended up buying 45 mins out from her city, and now she is driving in almost once or twice a week to hang out--so for anyone considering this type of move just be realistic about gas and travel.
Where are you?! I'm in Glendale and we are walking distance to EVERYTHING
We're a good 40 minutes no traffic into the city, and have not gone in to hang out in over a year and a half and we used to live right in the North End in boston.. HUGE change. We've been so busy with the house and stuff we don't even really have time or the desire to go... I guess our desires just molded to our environment. Its was fun and convienent while it lasted, but we don't really miss it.
6 years ago DH and I moved from a gorgeous apartment that was located across the road from one of our city's best shopping/dining/bar areas, to a townhouse in the burbs in order to save money. We've since moved again (several times) and our house now is in a lovely area, a 10 minute walk away from a similar area, great schools etc, and I love it...but yes we do still miss our old life! Even now when we walk past it we get all nostalgic about how great it was :) So yeah, I know the change will be hard and take a while to adjust to. But there might be more to your new neighbourhood than you realise? Even if it's just some fantastic new neighbours!
@Meowkers: Okay, so my husband and I both went to USC, and let's face it, what is 10-15 minutes in the mide of most, is more like 10-15 minutes of ridiculous traffic. :P We're now living up here in Norcal, but we went through this exact problem. Well, it was him rather than me. After our wedding in September, we moved into our house in Redwood City, the "suburbs", if you will (he was in San Francisco before that) - he really struggled with not being in the city, and close to all of his friends, hangouts, food, etc. I myself had been itching to get out of the city, so I guess this is his story to tell.
At any rate, the transition was REALLY hard for him - he even got a little emotional (maybe even a tad cranky) over the change, but I think once he started focusing on the fact that this made both of our commutes easier (I work 30 minutes south of our place, and him 30 minutes north), and that he would have a happy me to come home to, and a house that we're both happy in, things got better in no time!
Best of luck to you - these transitions are so difficult, but once you get settled in and get to know your new surroundings, I think things will get much better!
Hugs!
I totally understand. My husband and I live in Boston, and we're right on the train, walking distance to a million bars, restaurants, things to do, etc. However...after March 1st, neither of us will be working in the city anymore. It seems sorta silly to pay as much as we do in rent, and have to commute outside the city for work! Come September we'll probably move right outside the city to help with our commutes and savings. I get SO nervous about leaving the city...especially since my best friends all still live here. Wah, growing up stinks :(
@Meowkers: I don't have any advice, but I empathize. We moved from a downtown apartment with character (it was a shoe factory in the late 1800s but had been converted to apartments with original wood floors, 8' tall windows and ridiculously high ceilings) that was across the street from my office to a cookie cutter subdivision house in a small town that's 45 minutes away from where we work (we live in the middle and commute in opposite directions).
We used to spend at least an hour, often two, every night walking around with our dog enjoying our city, window shopping, etc. Now we're only within walking distance of other cookie cutter houses. We definitely walk a lot less than we used to. I have to say, it can get pretty boring.
I'm sure your new neighbourhood will be a lot more exciting than my little town though. And I'm sure you'll find things to do that will make you fall in love with your new neighbourhood. Besides that, you're buying a house! That's a really exciting step and you'll likely be very busy getting your new home in order. In time, maybe the perks of home ownership will make up for the things you miss about your old neighbourhood.
That's rough. I've never lived within walking distance of anything because I've always been in the suburbs but I know how rough it is to have to drive everywhere! Thankfully, we don't have horrible traffic around here and lots of routes to take if one has an accident or something.
I live in Boston as well & we debate what we'll do. In order to get more space for what we are willing to spend we'd have to go pretty far outside the city (which I'm not willing to do, I'm not ready for the commuter rail). I think we'll end up buying in the city & staying here for at least a few years.
And I don't think you are over reacting, sometimes 10-15 minutes makes an insane difference, especially in a major city. There are neighborhoods that are 10 minutes outside of Boston & they don't have anywhere within walking distance. It's a big adjustment to have to drive everywhere. Right now if I'm making dinner & realize I'm missing something my husband can run to the store & be back within 15 minutes. All without having to lose our parking spot!
I'm sure in a few months you'll look back at this & laugh. It just takes a few months to adjust.
I sort of when through this 2 moves ago. We moved from a great location super close to the subway and any kind of store/restaurant, etc. I'd ever need to a very out of the way self sustained community very far from everything. Self sustained means they had their own grocery store, restaurant and a shuttle to the subway in teh mornings. It was a difficult transition and I never quite got used to the long walk home after work, but there were a lot of great things about that area. We had a much bigger place and everything was nicer and newer. The people who lived in our building and surrounding buildings were all older and very well off, so it was a really nice place to live.
We've since moved back into actually the best location I've ever been in, but I do miss the way of life in our last place.
My spouse and I were just discussing this. We decided we'd rather take a smaller, more-expensive place in the city than move into the suburbs. We hate suburbs; there are just too many cons for us.
@Meowkers: I know exactly where you're moving. (Maybe not actually, but so true you need a car is that area.)
So just to ask...is there a reason why you're buying a home? If it's because of the things you want to do, maybe focusing on those things will help ease the discomfort/shock?
I know I'm in for a similar move in a year or two, and am trying to make the most of enjoying where we live now.
@Meowkers: I totally understand! I think unless you are an urban dweller its hard to get it. I live in Manhattan and honestly, the idea of suburban living freaks me out. We are moving to one of the most urban parts of Brooklyn and I am still worried it won't be as great as what I have now! I have some friends who have made the move to suburbia- my only advice is to give it time. For most of them, it has taken awhile to adjust to the new pace of living - some of them really hate it at first, but they get used to as they settle in. And in the end, if you guys don't, you can always sell/rent and move back.
LOL, I always felt so unsafe in the burbs because there is no one around. My DH grew up in the burbs and he would get off the highway at night and I would freak out like, "Lock the DOORS! Lock the doors!" He used to laugh because I hardly ever locked the doors in the city.
Now I just think it is funny--but it is an adjustment. It used to freak me out how quiet it is here at night.
@justelope: LOL, yes! We don't lock our front door when we are home during the day, but if I am at my dad's house in the burbs, I lock all the doors and am very afraid of the boogeymen who I am SURE are hiding in the yard.
Are you going to be in the valley? Or move eastward? I can understand that as a really hard adjustment to make, being in the middle of the city myself, and loving it here. But if you're only 5 miles out, that is not too bad! I think having a house will be worth it. I have lots of friends in the valley, and they seem to do ok with it, so I'm sure you guys will settle in!
Funny how some people are city people and others are country people. I am a country person, the city overwhelmes me with all the noise, traffic, people etc. I currently live in a town of about 80,000 which is big enough to have all the places you need to go but also still has the country feel due to all the farm land around. I am able to go to the brand new cineplex theater 10 mintues one way and go ride my horse at a barn 10 mintues the other way. Adjustment is hard no matter which way you go, there is no real answer other than you will like it or you wont, and you do get used to the driving places.
Ladies seriously thank you SO much for your input. I was really begining to think that I was crazy and even bratty for feeling this way so to know what so many people have the same feelings makes me feel better. From your own experiences it sounds like it's be an adjustment but that I will get used to it. I hope so. Thank you so much for your stories.
DH does not share my same feelings and while he is usually so supportive of my feelings, he's basically telling me that I'm ridiculous and to get over it. He grew up in Orange County which is all suburban with absolutely no city center so he's totally ok with the suburban life style.
@Margaritachka: I love Toluca Lake. We looked in that neighborhood as well. We're moving very much near by. Glad to hear that you guys are finding places you love.
@justelope: Where did you move to if you don't mind me asking? I think you're right that it is about the stage in your life and I guess I'm really fighting that next stage. I'm no where near ready for babies and carpools what people typically think of when they think suburbia. I think that's the reason I'm freaking out so much.
@zagora: we're buying a home because we want more space. We've lived in a small apartment for a while and it's time to expand. We want to entertain more and host family get togethers. Plus it's a great time to buy, (and we can afford it).
@SoupyCat: Yup, the Valley.
oh girl, i totally feel you. we have a great apartment on the miracle mile that i love, but are over living with roommates, so are moving to the valley in august. i'm not sure how i feel about it yet, honestly. :/
I feel your pain although my situation is the complete opposite. I lived in an extremely remote area in the middle of a state forest. My nearest neighbor was over a mile away. My cats roamed freely; deer, bears and turkeys were daily visitors and I LOVED it. I enjoyed nude sunbathing for 15 years. The nearest store was over 10 miles away.
We moved 7 months ago to what I call rural surburbia. Oh it is a lovely house with three acres of land and a canoe-able creek in the back yard and stores within a 10 minute drive. And I built a lovely sanctuary for the cats - insulated and complete with electricity and heat and a huge fenced in play yard. But I HATE it here - I can see the road and cars, I have neighbors within view (although not extremely close). I feel like I am in a cage. My FH is is very happy here but I am in complete misery.
I hear ya. I grew up in NYC and up until I was 18 that was ALL I knew about life. Walking everywhere, taking public transportation everywhere. Have life and culture all around me.
Then I moved Upstate for college. And I've been here ever since.
I LOVE NYC and miss it all the time but I also LOVE the slower pace of life here in Upstate. The 'burbs, the quieter lifestyle, the nicer people.
You never know, you might actually like it! ;) And being so close will give you the best of both worlds. NYC is 8 hours away for me now!
@Meowkers: I don't know what to tell you, other than- that would be really hard for me! It is so important to be able to walk. walk. walk. I love to walk!
I honestly don't know if I could do it. I guess I would have to shift to entertain myself at my new place by planting a garden... find a new thing to love living like that...
For me, I couldn't! I have to either have the benefits of rural life (doing what you want, hiking, etc.) or the walk-ability of a city. I just personally could never do that. I dislike having to drive to do things.
Maybe you will enjoy having your own place and find new things to love about it.
I understand this... I did this 2 years ago with my FI. I lived in the Baltimore area and moved to PA in a tiny little town with 1 pizza place and 1 stop light... We are about 20 min away from any shopping and a hour away from Baltimore(with no traffic). I find both pro's and cons.
Pros: It got me more active as I live right near a hiking area. Out of boredom I got a dog(well 2 now) and am now very involved in animal rights... It helped me find other things I'm passionate about which was great. I actually really like the silence at night now and have the best sleep of my life. We can afford to live in a nice size house verse a tiny apartment, I have a garden and spend more time outside, I only have a couple neighbors verse a ton of neighbors!
Cons: I HATE traffic now when visiting downtown... I used to be a pro at it haha , I'm pretty far if I ever just want to "stop by" I can't, I fought leaving so much that I was unhappy for awhile with moving, It does take time to get used to it.
Personal it will be different but at least you're only 15 minutes away verse over a hour. But I think a lot of people can relate to you. Good Luck!
I'm dealing with something similiar now. Moved from Atlanta to a small town 3 hours a way. Right now I want to kill myself because I can't find any job and the next big city is an hour away. Plus people in the town are nice but not welcoming...I've heard you can be here for years and still never make many friends. Ahhh!
@Meowkers: We went through this transition too. But we bought a house about 40 miles away, because Boston prices are so ridiculous. rior to that, we lived in the city and could walk to everything-including work!!
For the first few months we would drive back and forth to go to our favorites restuarants, shops, etc. But slowly we got used to our new area, and found awesome things about it. We found new favorite restaurants in our area, and explored other cities and towns that we had never been to. It was like a mini adventure every weekend :)
I do still miss the city, but I don't want to live there.
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I'm definitely having an inner crisis and don't know how to deal.
For the past 5 years DH and I have lived in the middle of Hollywood. As you can imagine this means that we're right in the middle of EVERYTHING. We have anything we need within walking distance, (theaters, restaurants, stores, bars, etc, etc). I love how lively and energetic our area is.
As much as we would have LOVED to buy a house near the area, it's just simply not afforable for our first home. Basically anything under $900K is a tiny shack. So to be able to afford a decent house we decided to move into the suburbs. I wasn't willing to move too far into the suburbs so we ended up buying a house in a very nice area about 5 miles, (10-15 minutes), from where we live now. It still has great stores and restaurants, etc but nothing is within walking distance and there's definitely a much slower pace of life. We're set to move next week and I'm freaking out.
The suburbs just feel so slow and dead to me. I'm freaking out about the change in our fast paced life style to the slower paced life in our new area. It makes me feel so...old. Like our fun times of carefree weekends of walking to the farmer's market, brunch, the theater are over.
Have any Bees dealt with these sort of irrational feelings about moving to a different type of neighborhood? How did you get over it?
Any input is greatly appreciated.