(Closed) Personal Q: How many Catholic bees refrain from sex?

posted 6 years ago in Catholic
  • poll: Wellllll?
    I'm Catholic and waiting until marriage : (19 votes)
    18 %
    I'm Catholic and have had premarital sex, but confessed and am now abstaining : (7 votes)
    7 %
    I'm Catholic and continue to have premarital sex : (72 votes)
    67 %
    Other : (9 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m not Catholic, but FI is. We live together and have sex. I just asked him about this, and he says he feels guilty in terms of his Catholic faith but not in general.

    Post # 5
    Member
    485 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’m an atheist, but I have a genuine interest in this…. I thought as long as you asked for forgiveness, you were good?  Clearly, you DO feel remorse for not saving yourself for marriage.  As far as I knew, you didn’t even need to make it official with a confession to a priest, you could just use personal prayer.  Isn’t the “lust” itself forgiveable?  

    Post # 6
    Member
    682 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think in biblical times people got married when the were like 14 and started having kids, so they didn’t have to be 20-30 years old and a virgin waiting to get married.  I don’t think you have anything to worry about in regards to your salvation-  and I think it is much more of a sin to have a child you cannot afford to raise so contraception is A-OK in my book.  I am not a very good Catholic in this regard, but I think some expectations are just unrealistic, and if you are having sex and are not ready for a child you should definitely take preventative measures….

    ….end rant ūüôā 

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @HerNameWasLola:  And the worst part is I don’t feel guilty about it.

    I personally think that’s the best part.

    You might get a higher response to this thread if you add a poll?

    Post # 8
    Member
    748 posts
    Busy bee

    I have sex and use contraception, personally I think there are some catholic “rules” which need to be revisted. I do feel guilty about it sometimes, but talking to God usually helps.

    Post # 10
    Member
    822 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I def think that times have changed.  I am Catholic and so is my DH.  We brought a house together 5 years before getting married, so lived together and all that.

    I teach at a Catholic school and was the DRS (director of religious studies) there for a few years (during the time we were living together before getting married) and it was never a problem at all.  My prinicpal and priest knew about it and they were fine with it.

    We do try and go to church most weeks but its been years since I went to confession.

    Post # 11
    Member
    181 posts
    Blushing bee

    @rurahrah:  When you ask for forgivness.. you have to mean it. Just like with a person you wrong.. no point in asking to be forgiven if youre just going to do it again. And Roman Catholics have to confess to a priest.. I believe its Christians (which we are also considered but Catholics have certain traditions to follow) who say a silent prayer to be free of sin.
    And as for the lust.. thats just as bad as committin the sin.
    This is as far as I know as a practicing.. and struggling Catholic/Christian. Lord knows Im not perfect! (ps.. Im also really interested in other religions and find them all beautiful in their own waysSmile

    And to the OP.. I totally know how you feel. I was a virgin for my first marriage (hello.. sinner!)  which is now dissolved and its really hard to follow hardcore stated rules that have been set hundreds of years ago but the whole point to our religion is that we KNOW we are sinners and NEED guidance. If you talk to your priest, instead of just confessing to get it off your back, you will find that they do understand that times have changed.. but you might find that he will be nudging to meet with both of you to talk about marriage lol.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    You’re right that it doesn’t do much good to go to Confession if you don’t feel guilty.

    One thing you can do is really work on forming your conscience. Do some spiritual reading, read what the Church has to say about why premarital sex is not a good idea for Catholics. Dr Janet Smith has a great program called Contraception, Why Not if you are interested.

    I’m married now but I waited. I didn’t feel it was unrealistic at all for me to do this, it’s like anything else, you just have to be committed to it.

    Many women choose to wait for non-religious reasons. It was important for me to build a relationship with someone that was deep and intimate outside of sex. Because there are plenty of times in life when you won’t be able to be intimate! For instance, right now we are going through a 6 week period where we can’t have sex because of a procedure I had. Similar times occur right after pegnanncy and so forth. It’s definitely tough but we’ve had a lot of practice nourishing our relationship in a “celibate” manner, so it’s not as tough as it would be for many other people.

    The Catholic part was just icing on the cake for me.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1554 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    you shouldnt feel guilty, Jesus is all about love!

    and i mean, you’re going to marry your FI anyway, so what’s the point of postponing it?

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    11353 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @Anamagana:¬†¬†I¬†would like to, very¬†respectfully, disagree with your thoughts about this.¬† God’s Word, the Bible,¬†makes¬†extremely clear to Christians that sex outside of marriage is sin. Period. God designed sex for marriage only, and He also provides the¬†strength¬†and ability¬†for Christians to obey this command through the power of the Holy Spirit (I Corinthians 10:13.)

    I know that there are many people who do not believe in the Bible as the inspired Word of God and are not Christians, and I certainly would not expect them to believe in, follow, or obey Christ regarding this or any of His other commands.  However, those of us who claim to believe in, follow, and serve Him get into all kinds of trouble when we presume that we are able to make our own rules and set our own standards based on what we want or feel or what is convenient to us.

    Living the Christian life is not about us making¬†ourselves happy or¬†us fulfilling our own desires in an illegitimate manner. Rather, it is, in essence, about self-denial — about¬†“dying” to self and what the Bible calls our “fleshly desires”¬†that war against the Spirit¬†so that Christ can live in us and through us.

    When we, as Christians, feel guilty about having committed what Scripture¬†calls¬†sin,¬†this guilt is actually¬†the result of the Holy Spirit convicting us so that we will repent from our sin and turn and follow and obey God’s commands.

    What @Magdalena:¬†noted in her comment is so true. When we repeatedly disobey the voice of God to satisfy our own desires, we eventually begin to, as the Bible says, sear our conscience. This is not a good thing.¬† If we walk far enough away from God for a long enough period of time, we stop feeling guilty, because instead of heeding God’s voice and truth, we begin to listen to and believe the lies of the enemy, who is a deceiver, and we begin to lie to ourselves.

    The answer to that is for us to repent of our sin and to turn from our own, wrong ways, and to draw near to God. The Bible says that, when we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4327 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    @HerNameWasLola:  I had a roommate when I was in my early 20’s, who decided it was OK to have pre-marital sex, but NOT ok to use birth control, because it was against her Catholic religion….

    Guess what happened? 

    At least you’re being sensible and realistic. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    The Bible says that we make the word of God of No Effect because of our religions, and Jesus was against organized religion and paying more attention to the rules of the religion than to God. 

    Jesus did not come into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. Jesus did not say he’d cover you with his covenant only IF you are perfect. He said he will cover you with his covenant because you are NOT perfect, but in your heart you do strive to be like him.

    So please stop beating yourself up and realize that if we could follow every single thing in the bible, Jesus would never have even needed to come down here and make a way for us. God never put not ONE rule in the way of your salvation except to believe it and receive it. But because you love him and he loves you, he does want you to follow his commandments. However, Jesus is the one in the gap between us and perfection. So please stop feeling condemned. that’s the last thing he wants you to feel after he has made this perfect way for you through christ.

    You might guess that I am non demoninational and I try to steer away from any “religion,” and just conccentrate on my spiritual relationship with God.

    The topic ‘Personal Q: How many Catholic bees refrain from sex?’ is closed to new replies.

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