- 6 years ago
Sorry to be so personal but this is one aspect of my Catholic faith I struggle so much with. I was brought up Catholic and I truly believe in many fundamentals of the religion, having a marriage recognized by the Church and receiving communion are all important to me.
But I can’t lie..I’m a 21st century adult in a long term relationship and I have engaged in pre marital sex for years (with one person). And the worst part is I don’t feel guilty about it. I believe it’s an important part of our relationship and that it’s healthy and something I enjoy. I think it’s an integral part of any adult relationship and it’s unrealistic for me to have stayed a virgin until marriage. But..that keeps me from being in good standing with the church, unable to receive communion. And this keeps me up at night.
I could go to Confession, confess and be absolved I suppose, but I know I wouldn’t be genuinely repenting and I’d just do it again. I also use contraception (bad)…I’ve had many sleepless nights because of this. I am a horrible sinner.
Does anybody else have a very difficult time reconciling this part of your relationship? Any other Catholic bees who weren’t virgins upon wedding, or lived with their partners before hand? I feel like a terrible, terrible, terrible Catholic. I AM a terrible Catholic. But I feel like I can’t realistically do anything about it.