(Closed) Personal wedding vows. Please Help! Need Feedback!

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 4
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would leave the reference to “life’s regret” completely out. Just strike that line. It’s too negative to bring up as part of your vows. Also the parts about using words to hurt, and not having words to fix the hurt. We all know that’s part of life, but do you really want to promise those things?

Tbh I like the last paragraph on its own; I may be too traditional in this regard but I think vows should be short, sweet and to the point.

You may also want to reconsider mentioning a promise to be mother of his children, unless those children already exist, simply because you don’t know that you’ll be able to make any? Again, that’s just me— no matter what you do with the reference to kids or the length, I’d definitely get any negative thoughts removed. You love this man; you should promise him the very best of you!

Post # 5
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@fishbone:  I concur about the kids part.  I would hate for you to make this part of your vows, something happens, and then THAT becomes one of your regrets.

Also  “and for that reason I will not promise to laugh with you and not at you” should read “I promise to laugh with you and not at you”, correct?

I liked everything else.

Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I think, actually, that I would leave in both the parts about life’s difficulties and the part about children. My rationale:

– there will be difficulties in life, and an important part of marriage is sticking it out when that happens. The traditional vows have us promise “For better or worse, for richer or poorer,” etc., not just for better or for richer. Yes, you want to focus on the positive on your wedding day, but it’s appropriate and healthy to acknowledge that tough times will come, too, and that you are vowing to face them together.

– mentioning future children is a sign of hope, and it’s also part of the traditional vows. (Yes, I get that not wanting to go the traditional route is why people write their own vows, but still, they are the source code.)

 

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