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Now before you scream how lame it may be. Consider what I'm trying to do and be. Where I can I'm trying to be eco-friendly. This includes going a paperless route where possible. Under no circumstances am I debating to NOT send a thank you at all. I just want to cut out as much paper as possible.
We've already decided on e-vites and online RSVP. I'm now considering going the whole way doing E-thank you's. Now these will not be generic thank you's. Each will be personally typed and specific to the person/ couple and coressponding gift.
Was thinking of also including a photo of us on our wedding, a shot of them and perhaps if any shots that they decided to take in our photobooth. You would have the privledge of printing or displaying these pictures if you wanted to.
So, if you attened my wedding (keeping in mine my website and all that already sort of has a sco aspect to it, you'd been E-vited, and E-RSVP'd) would you be appaled to recieve an email as a thank you will a few pictures attached?
Nope. As long as you don't do a mass Thank you then it's fine. What's the difference between a heartfelt handwritten letter and a heartfelt typed one?
You can always visit paperlesspost.com ^_^ That's how I sent my "Will you be my bridesmaid" cards.
personally, i would not be happy with an email thank you. i would think you were putting out the least effort possible.
@kitzy: interesting. I didn't know typing an email wasn't effort. So then what's worse: a generic post card THANK YOU. Or a personalized email with indivdiual pictures attached?
Are you considering the "paperless" theme in your response?
While it is a great idea to save paper, I would think an email thank you is much less personal. For my situation my dad's side of the family is super traditional and a lot of them don't even have emails. Do all of your guests have email addresses? I personally would never do them. If I were to receive one, I would feel kind of less appreciated.
Even considering the paperless theme, I think it's not the greatest idea, sorry. It's not like you're murdering an entire forest of trees to send personalized thank-you notes in the mail to your guests. It takes way more effort to hand-write a thank you note than to just type it up and slap some pictures on it.
Sure I like getting thank you cards in the mail, but in reality I end up tossing them away anyway. And if your whole concept is paperless, I say go for it. I guess just keep in mind those who do not use email and send them an actual thank you note in the mail.
Good comments. But doing my part to save a tree is doing my part. So yeah I agree I'm not killing a forest, I'm doing what I can to save a part of a dinky tree. :)
I'm of the opinion a typed email is a helluva lot better than a generic thank you post card. I've seen and heard of several of these...
@vmec:yes, i considered the "paperless" thing, but i would think that was a cop out if i got an email thank you. and no, typing an email is not much of an effort imo. the only acceptable thank you card is a handwritten and mailed note.
@hibiscusgirl: All our family is not all the traditional. Since email will be sent for evites it will be relatively easy to do thank yous at the end.
I don't get the whole "it's not personal" thing. It's just words. How is sending a postcard with a picture saying "Thank you for attending the wedding and also thank you for the crock pot. I can't wait to try it out. DH is already asking me when we are going to use it! It was so great seeing you two and I hope we can hang out more often so Julie can show us how to do the electric slide!" signed. any different from sending an email with a photo attached with the same message? Is it the handwriting? Is it the thrill of getting something in the mail other than junk and bills? I mean, those reasons are fine, but to say it's just not personal? I don't get it. Both methods take effort. It's not like she is going to copy and paste "Thank you" 100 times and just hit send.
@mshoagie: Of course, everyone is getting A thank you... just like if there are 3 folks without emails I will be either calling (most likely) or buy 5 invites and mail them (same for the thank yous)
Getting a letter in the mail feels a little more special than getting an email, which can be sent in seconds all the time everyday lol. That said, I agree with Miss Tattoo. I don't see why words on paper are so much better than words on a screen. If you're an eco-friendly bride, than why waste paper? :)
It probably wouldn’t sit too well with me since I do like getting physical thank you’s. However, this really depends on your guests and how they would react. To my mother, even the concept of online RSVP’s is appauling.
If I were to receive an email thank you, I would assume that the couple wrote one email template and just filled in the blanks. What about getting recycled note-cards? They don’t need to be fancy.
We’re having a photo-booth as well and we’ll be uploading all of the pictures taken in it to our wedding website so that our guests can pull them off of there. You already mentioned that you have a wedding website, so why not do something like that?
I was raised to do hand written thank yous for everything. I was always told it was rude not to hand write things. i wouldn't do generic post cards either. But that is how I was raised, so the effort of hand writting a thank you (to me) shows a lot more thought than sending an email.
@UpstateCait: I considered that however, it still creates waste. I don't believe (perhaps falsely) that enough people recyle and that those cards would be recylced on the guests part. So to the landfill it is!
So it would seem people just like getting hand written mail. I can understand that I agree!. Perfectly understandable. But times are a changin'!
I guess I can get why more traditional or older folk might not like the email but ANY thank you is always better than none at all- I think we all agree there :)
Are you thinking of doing these via regular ol' email, or something fancier, similar to whatever you're using for invites?
My concern is that, as a guest, it would be really easy to read a message and think, "Well, that sounds like it was cut-and-paste with a few words changed..." because it would be REALLY easy to do just that - "Dear [name], it meant so much to have you join us as we celebrated our wedding! Thank you so much for [gift], we are looking forward to using it!"
I do think the personalized pictures help, and can appreciate the environmental aspect of things, but think you would need to be very intentional about how you go about it if you want to avoid offending (unless ALL of your guests are laid back/environmental nuts, in which case, what does it matter what any of us think? they'll be pleased as punch and they are the ones who matter.)
@cyndistar3: I disagree it shows more TIME, but it doesn't show more thought. As some posters above would agree. I do not disagree that more time is taken to handwrite, and mail. But I definately do not think typing out the exact same written words are LESS thoughtful.
@vmec: From your replies it seems like you really aren't interested in what people have to say. You just want people to tell you that what you are planning on doing is a great idea. The fact of the matter is some people won't like this. I don't know if any of your guests will feel that way, but there are people who do.
I agree with the others who would not be very happy to receive an email thank you. It absolutely takes less effort to send an email than to hand write, sign, and address a card. It feels more personal to have something physical that the person wrote and sent to you. And I don't throw them out. Thank you notes in our house are usually on the fridge for at least a few months. I agree with @UpstateCait:'s suggestion to use thank you notes made from recycled paper so you can still be environmentally aware.
@Miss Tattoo: Yes, I think it is the thrill of getting something tangible, something that someone took the time to make and hand write. Call me old fashioned but I like to keep cards around for posterity.
I, also, was raised to hand write thank-yous. I think it all just depends on your guests and how you would think they would react.
@daydreamwanderer: I'm not sure the first poster gave a link to a website to look at but I haven't and probably won't until the time comes but it's an idea to use something like an e-card thank you type deal. I'm not throwing that idea out for sure...
I think that's a fantastic idea. I know that my friends (and generation, for that matter) would be all for it. I would expect you'd have a problem with the less technically savvy people, but if they have to use the internet to RSVP then they should be okay, I assume.
I voted yes, I would be happy with an e-thank you! I think that as long as it's not a generic mass-mailing, and instead is a heartfelt, personalized note, it's acceptable. And I think the picture idea adds a nice personal touch as well!
In this day and age where people barely use the telephone or mail a letter anymore, where we are using text, email and facebook to correspond, I don't think it's unacceptable at all! In fact, I admire you for being eco-friendly and I would be happier to receive an e-thank you card from someone. I just throw out (recycle) any thank you cards or invitations I get anyways. I wish I had thought of this idea!
@vmec: Do what you want girl. It's 2011. We are in the electronic age. I was raised to do handwritten notes, but that kind of became pointless in the last few years. If you don't want to create waste then don't. Don't feel pressured to do it. To me, a thank you is a thank you whether it's on the phone, email, or a piece of paper. Even if you do it on paper, you are still following a template. Dear X, thank you for attending. We are thrilled about the gift you gave us. We love X! Can't wait to use it. Thanks again. signed.
So how is writing off of a template better than typing it out?
@vmec: Notice how I said "to me"? You are asking our opinions my dear. I guess I wasn't really getting at "thought" but more of "effort". It does take a bit of effort which generallly takes thought, to get letters in the mail, more than it does to send an email.You can disagree, I don't mind but not everyone thinks the way you do. I don't understand why you needed to ask what we thought when you are clearly not interested in what we think.
I would like to add that I am not trying to convince you not to do emails, I was only giving my opinion. If you want to send email thank you's by all means do so! I love saving trees! (I personally think there are other ways to do it but that is a whole different thing)
I would say find other ways to be eco-friendly. Or maybe include that you are specifically sending emails in consideration of the environment in your thank you note so the recipients aren't offended.
These are people that took time out of their life to attend your wedding and most likely put some thought into a gift for you. Sending a hand-written, personalized thank you note shows that you appreciate their effort by putting in your own. It shows class.
Now, if you were really trying to be eco-friendly, perhaps you would have cut down on the travel to your wedding by having all your guests attend via skype. Then, virtual thank you notes would make much more sense.
@cyndistar3: I AM interested in responses. Just because I doubt I'll change my mind doesn't mean I don't care what y'all said.
@Sking: I actaully like this idea, I think I was planning to "blog" on the wedding website about such efforts but mentioning it via email isn't a bad idea. I'll probably include such a phrase in the e-vite as well. Thanks!
*Just realized you were being completly sarcastic and mocking my attempts* Thanks.
@Moose1209:thank you for saying exactly what i was thinking! this is another one of those "i'm asking for your opinions as long as they agree with mine" posts.
@vmec: Sorry, just from your responses it just looked like you were just getting defensive.
I am just curious but what all ways are you making your wedding eco friendly?
@cyndistar3: I made a post about my efforts so far, you can probably find it in my recent posts or something. The list of course isn't all inclusive just ideas here and there so far.
It sounds like your pretty dead set on send emails. Many Bees (including myself) feel pretty strongly about certain ettiquette. so your post is bound to bring in some opinions you don't liek. Its your wedding, and your thank yous. But I'd agree with other posters. Some people will be offended by the medium (email) regardless of the message.
To me, email is impersonal by nature. I use it for work and school. When I get personal emails, I typically wonder why the person was to lazy to call. I would be disappointed by an emailed thank you.
No, I would not be very happy with an email response. For one, some people (especially your older guests) don't check their email every day and might miss the thank you. It might go in their spam folder where they'll never see it. Or it might just get caught up in the shuffle and accidentally get deleted because they don't know what it is. It's much easier for an email to get lost than a written and postal-delivered note. There's a lot of so called "waste" generated by a wedding in general; I'd probably LOL at the thought that sending e-thank yous was in some way making a dent in the carbon footprint of your wedding or whatever. Unless your dress was made of biodegradable material and your linens were hand-sewn hemp or your wedding party rode bicycles to reduce carbon emissions, your attempts at being "green" by cutting down on paper thank yous wouldn't sound serious to me. It would just sound like an excuse to not take the time to hand write and address and properly thank your guests for making the effort they did for you.
Personally, making your guests feel unappreciated is not worth being green. Etiquette is not something that, in my opinion, should be disregarded.
@Moose1209: just wanted to say i totally agree with you. I'm starting to recognize your username. Cuz everytime I seem to read a thread, I always agree with "Whatever Moose said"
This is *almost* as hell raising as the open bar threads. I suppose you're right, it's gonna reak havoc. I'm surprised that so many are so grossly offended actaully. But you'd probably already be just as offended or annoyed when you get an e-vite for the wedding which requests you go online and RSVP.
@MissShork: Aww thanks : ) I'm glad to know there's someone out there who agrees with me!
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