Weddingbee boards

There are a lot of non-religious wedding traditions you can use.  Our officiant suggested a rose exchange, a wine ceremony, giving roses to our mothers, reading letters to each other.

In the end we're doing a hand-fasting (FI's ancestry is Irish) but with each binding changed to reflect lthe seven steps of a Hindu wedding (my background).  I've seen a secular hand-fasting that worked really well also.

We're having a couple readings:

Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare

Unending Love by Rabindranath Tagore

There are several other threads with reading suggestions...and plenty of traditions you can borrow/steal and turn into your own :)

Although we were married in a church, any of these could also be used in a more non-religious ceremony.

How we personalized our ceremony...

• Instead of my father giving me away, we had a parents' blessing and a congregational blessing.

• We had a unity candle and tapers custom made.  The tapers had our names on them, (well, mine on one and his on one).  Our parents lit our candle while the pastor read:

<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'">"The two outside candles that have been placed here are lit by members of both families to represent the lives of - Name - and - Name - to this moment. Their lights, representing the faith, wisdom, and love they have received from their parents are distinct, each burning alone. After the exchange of vows, - Name - and - Name - will light the center candle, representing the union of their lives."

<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'">When we lit the unity candles, he read:

<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'">"The Bride and Groom will now light the Unity Candle to symbolize the union of their lives. From now on their thoughts shall be for each other, and joys and sorrows shall be shared alike. By allowing the flame of the two smaller candles to remain lit, they also accept the individuality of each other as a means of fulfilling their oneness."

• <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'">We then gave our mothers roses (that they didn't know we were giving them, since we wanted them to be a surprise).  IF YOU ARE DOING THIS, discuss with your fiance HOW to do it!  LOL.  I have always seen it done where we present a rose to one mother together, each hug her, then present the rose to the other mother and hug her.  That's what I intended, and what I THOUGHT he understood, too.  Instead, he walked away and gave the rose to him mother while I gave my rose to my mom.  So I walked over after hugging my mom and hugged his, and he stood there like a boob, (and didn't hug my mom).  LOL.  I don't think my mom was offended or anything, it's just one of those little things that can/will go wrong. 

<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'">

• <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'">This one was something our pastor does at his services, but that I thought was really neat and really personal.  He had us write down five things we love about the other person and then read them to the congregation.  He warned us when he gave us the "assignment" that he really does read them, so not to write down anything you wouldn't want everyone hearing.  One gentleman wrote down he loved his wife because of her sexy legs. :)

<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'">

• <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Also something our pastor suggested:  Decide together on two stories to share about your life together.  It could be how you met, how you got engaged, something the other person did that made you realize they were "the one", or just something funny, (but not embarrassing!) that happened in the course of your relationship.  We chose the story about how Mr. Apricot proposed as one of ours, since we figured that way we wouldn't have to tell the story over and over at the reception.  Hehehe.

<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> We got a LOT of compliments on how personal our service was, which was in part due to the fact that I have known our officiant since I was about ten years old.  Since your offciant is a friend, you'll have that personal feel too, I'm sure.  Good luck!  I'm sure you'll find lots of great ideas from the Bees!  Hope you let us know what you decide to do!