Pet death; how long did you wait?

posted 3 months ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
4906 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

MrsCoest3 :  In my life, I have always been the one of the family who pushes to get a new pet immediately.  I absolutely love the ones I’ve had over the years, but I could not stand the expectation of them waiting for my arrival when I got home from school, or looking for them around every corner in the house.  It’s horrid to me and I just won’t do it for more than a few days.  

Since becoming an adult, I’ve had 2 cats and a dog of my own and luckily have only had to put one down so far.  I did not replace her (cat) due to my husband’s allergies and general dislike of cats.  I may not get to replace the other when her time comes either, but I think he’ll find that she’s pretty useful out in the country and that we do, in fact, need a cat now (she’s a real mouser, this one).  My dog is about halfway through his life and I shudder to think of the time we need to let him go, but ultimately, I’ll probably also be the one pushing to get a new dog ASAP when his time does come.

Regarding the kids, I don’t know what’s best.  My first is still in the womb, lol. I just know that as a child myself, I needed a new pet and I needed it now.  I think our first passed when I was 9, though.  I’d say have them around puppies and see if they can understand how to behave with them before getting one of your own.

Post # 3
Member
696 posts
Busy bee

I think everyone is very different. I think we waited about a year before we started looking when our dogs passed (within a week of each other- I swear the second died of a broken heart). When you’re ready for a new dog, you’ll know. Don’t pressure yourself to rush into it. Plus, a new dog is wayyyyyy more work than one who already knows the rules of the roost. I’d certainly wait until you have a slow period at work, etc, and the kids are old enough to understand that puppies are fragile.

That said, I do really believe you can never go back to a dogless home after experiencing the love they bring. And I think it’s amazing for children to have dogs growing up. My childhood dogs were my best friends. My cousin got a new puppy after her dog passed, her kids are 6 and 4, and the love the kids have for the puppy and vice versa is so amazing to witness. 

Post # 4
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is. Not too long ago we lost our 10 yo boxer. I would say wait a little while and let yourself mourn. It took me a few months to be able to not cry when I thought about her. It is really weird how quiet things are once you lose a pet. We waited 8 months before we got another dog. We fostered for a little while before we found the perfect one. She’s also a boxer and looks just like our old dog, but her personality could not be more opposite. We love her to pieces.

Post # 5
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I always think it’s best to get a new pet as soon as possible. The only thing that can help speed the healing of the hole in my heart that’s left when a beloved pet dies, is a new puppy that I can devote myself to. A new pet will help to stop you from thinking about the pet you lost, so you don’t dwell on your sadness. 

I’m so sorry you lost your dog. It really hurts to lose a pet. Wishing you and your family the best!

Post # 6
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

My heart breaks for you.  I’ve never had a dog but my cats are my heart <3 I know how much pets can mean to a person 

 

I also always pushed for new pets after a loss.  Sounds like your husband is too.  I guess everybody grieves differently. 

Maybe stop by a shelter and see how it makes you feel?  

Post # 7
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

A 1 and 2 year old and a new dog would be SO full on. Personally I’d want to wait until they’re more like 5. Then you can actually explain things to them and they can interact with the dog more appropriately instead of just grabbing it (like my sister’s 1 year old does…)

Post # 8
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We had our cat 16 years and put her down due to illness (I actually still get rather upset about it tbh, if you bring it up at the wrong time I start bawling, honest to god) and I swore I wasn’t ready for another cat for over a year and then FIs mother found a cat in a Walmart parking lot (this is no joke) and took it in. He didn’t get along with her other cats and one day she put him in my lap and that was the end of the story. 

We love Spirit to death and I can’t imagine without him. I don’t think I thought I was ready but the second he was in my arms I wanted to keep him. 

Post # 9
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

bb1721 :  would be super weird to see pictures of your Boxers? You can even PM me. I’ve always had boxer and love to see others. 

I wait till it feels right. However long that is. When I lost my first really boy, I waited nearly a year til I saw ad and knew I needed to meet the puppy in it. 

I can’t remember a time in my life when we didn’t have dogs. So, I think younger the better. 

Post # 10
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

MrsCoest3 :  I’m so sorry for your loss. I just went through this with my cat of 9 years. We put her to sleep in Febuarary. I think everyone is different. I adopted a cat about a week after I we put our other cat to sleep. I know it was super fast but our home just felt so empty. I am in no way over her death, and I still cry. Sometimes the grief is still as strong as the day we said goodbye. But having a new spunky cuddly kitten around does help. If you want an new dog, don’t feel guilty. 

Post # 11
Member
7888 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We waited until the baby/toddler phase was finished – our youngest kid was 4.

Post # 12
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Sorry for your loss.

 

My 15 year old dog passed away suddently at the end of 2015, and we got a new puppy July last year. I wasn’t ready before then, even though Id started looking for a new dog 6 months earlier.

Post # 13
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

 

musicluvr325 :  Hi!! Here’s our new little girl. She’s actually a boxer mix. She’s the sweetest. We adopted her from a shelter where she was returned, because the previous owner had dachshunds that repeatedly attacked her.

Post # 14
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

If you feel like you need more time, by all means take more time. Every pet situation is different. I have had pets all my life (several at a time) so we were never in a rush to get a new pet when we had others there to comfort us. I did lose one of my kitties a few years ago and I kept the kitten that looked the most like her. The kitten has grown to be exactly like her momma which made the loss so much easier to handle. Pets are therapeutic but they are also a commitment. Take your time and when/if you are ready, find a new pup to add to the family. 

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