(Closed) Petty Bickering = Total Heartbreak

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I can relate.  FI and I had a fight last night where I told him I thought we were sort of drifting apart.  He took it to mean I was having doubts about the wedding, which is just a few weeks before yours.

I think it’s just stress – I look too much into things.  I told him I didn’t think he was as romantic and affectionate as he used to be, he told me nothing has changed and he thinks I am just overanalyzing things.

Oh well.  I definitely don’t think that we need counseling.  I think it is just the stress of all of the planning catching up to us.

I know there’s no real advice here, but just wanted to let you know that you definitely aren’t alone.

Post # 4
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

There is nothing wrong with pre marital counseling.  Most ministers actually require it.  I just suggested to FI because we too have been arguing over little things.  He was 100% onboard with it! 

Post # 5
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i think premarital counseling is great, whether you have problems or you don’t. We are required (in the catholic church) to have a full day of “counseling” plus several meeting with the preist. I am really looking forward to it because it will bring up things such as finances to having children. I’ve always been an advocate of counseling no matter how big or little the issue, i’ve always found it helpful. plus its always nice to have a mediator when discussing anything. Though if you choose this route i would be careful on how you bring it up to FI…some people can get offended and think counseling is only for those who have horrible problems..which i dont find that to be the case at all.

Post # 6
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Another vote for premarital counseling – people say wedding planning is like a hazing process for couples. Yes things are stressful now, but why not repair it at the beginning instead of letting things fester? Whatever issues appear under stress will not magically go away when the wedding is over.

I agree, btw, that he absolutely should NOT be saying such hurtful things to you.

Post # 8
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

My DH and I did it and it was the best thing for us. We never outright fought, and the disagreements we would have we always worked through it, but after we got engaged we had HORRIBLE issues with his family, and it was literally ripping us a part that we almost called it off because I couldn’t take the drama with his family anymore and us constantly at each other. We went to 2 sessions and it was the best thing for us, after the session we were back to normal and able to tackle the issues together. I don’t think that with everyone it will take 2 sessions, but for us we just needed an outside person to help us manage better.

Post # 9
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@almsotSLC: Keep talking to him about this. Seriously. Marriage only works with constant, open comminucation. He needs to know how you feel – again!

Post # 11
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

You aren’t alone. I have found wedding planning to be seriously one of the worst and most stressful times in my entire life. I feel ashamed to say that I absolutely hate it and it’s been nothing short of a nightmare. Counseling, no matter what, is always a good thing but it’s also “normal” for this to be a difficult time which of course will result in more tension between the two of you. Best of luck, glad you had a good conversation last night ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

Some couples grow closer together during the engagement period, while many feel the pressue of the entire process…see this article regarding this topic:

http://www.emotionallyengaged.com/newsletter_couples.php

Glad you two were able to talk it through..that’s an encoruaging sign.  Premarital counseling is not a bad idea as well, and can only help!

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