Post # 1
So maybe I’m just being a little hard on him, but maybe I’m not. FI is having his bachelor party this coming Saturday in the city where we live (Ohio), and I’m going home to Michigan the day before for some alterations on my dress on Friday, and my bachelorette party on Saturday. My bachelorette party is going to start at 7, drinks at the house with some appetizers and cake, a few games, and then out to the bars on a party bus. His bach. party is an all day event. They are golfing at 10, having a BBQ in the afternoon, and then taking a limo downtown to go to the bars and to the stripclub (which I don’t care about). My issues is he is telling me that we can’t have any phone conversations that day. Maybe I’m over-reacting but in our relationship, we have never not talking to one another for a whole day and night. I’m not saying I have to talk to him a zillion times, or while he’s out, but some form of communication would be nice. He says the reason is because the guys will give him shit for talking to me. I mean we talk to each other everyday during our lunch hour for pete’s sake.
I’m not angry, but a little hurt. Am I overreacting?
Post # 3
I don’t think you’re overreacting… I think it’s odd for him to stipulate no phone calls. Maybe negotiate the time for ONE phone call?
Post # 4
You can’t help how you feel. Is there a particular reason why he is saying you can’t talk? Like, his friends would make fun of him or something? I hadn’t given it much thought previously, but I too would be a little offended if my FI said we were not "allowed" to talk that day. I really probably would not want to chat with him late night (esp if many drinks are involved), but what is the harm in speaking during the day? It’s like, now that he told you that you "can’t" you will want to do so even more!
I would just try to talk to him about why he has a strong preference for not speaking that day.
Post # 5
I dont necessarily think you are over reacting but I would suggest that maybe only talk to him in the morning before your days begin. Or maybe send a text to let each other know you are ok and having fun. Do you want him to call you when you are on a party bus or in a club? Would you even be able to hear and/or talk to him?
My FI and I talk to each other multiple times throughout the day as well. Our bachelor and bachelorette parties will be on the same day and I would prefer that we talk in the morning and before we each go out at night but not during the night. He is going to a strip club as well (which I dont care about either) but I would not want to be calling him while he is there. In the same respect, I am doing a dinner with friends and then a girly sleepover after and I would not him calling several times while we are trying to have fun.
Post # 6
To be honest, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. There are days where the hubs is away on business and we are in different time zones and we can’t talk to each other – I don’t take it personally that he won’t inconvenience himself to find time to talk to me.
What if you guys talk in the morning before golf? Or you guys can talk when you get home that night before you go to bed.
Post # 7
Ask him if he’ll compromise with a phone call Saturday morning … and then just a text here and there later in the day. I am so with you on the whole "we’ve never not talked" … but at the same time if he thinks he won’t have time/will be too drunk/will get made fun of … then maybe you can give him just texting later in the afternoon/night.
I would totally react 100% the same way though — we talk, every day, that’s it.
Hope it works out!
Post # 8
I don’t think you’re overreacting and I think it is ok to feel a little hurt by it. However, if it were me I wouldn’t WANT to talk to my FI that day. My FI is going to a friend’s bach party in a few weeks. It’s a long weekend on a houseboat on a lake in Tenn. I’ve already told him that I have no intention/want/need/desire to talk to him on the phone that weekend. My reason for this is that I know it would result in a fight. I know I would just get annoyed at all of the noise and drunken-ness (which I have zero problem with, just zero desire to listen to). I’ve told him I want 2 texts per day. One at night to know he survived the day and one in the morning to know he survived the night. I suggest you ask him for a quick text or two throughout the day. Ask him to call before his golf game starts, too. It seems you have a pretty busy schedule so hopefully you wont really have time to worry about it. Not sure if this was the response you were looking for but I hope you can find a resolution Ps, I’m from Cleveland!! Where is he going…I can always stalk him for ya!
Post # 9
@EAQ219-Thats so sweet, you would stalk him for me!!! LOL, It would probably end up in a fight if we talking too much, but I was just thinking maybe sometime in the afternoon, after golf and before they get in the limo, as we’ll be leaving to go out around the same time. Of course I expect him to call me when he gets home that night, but he’ll do that anyways. If were apart he can’t go to sleep without making sure I got home ok! I don’t know where he’s golfing at, but he’s going downtown to W. Sixth and then to the strip club over by Shooters.
I think my main problem is that he told me we can’t. I totally trust him and he knows that, but he says his friends will give him a hard time. Unfortunately, my girls will probably give me a hard time too, but if I talk to him once or twice during the day I don’t really care what they say/think. It’s just our routine. So I’m not so sure why he cares so much, because usually he doesn’t.
Post # 10
Do you think that maybe he’s worried you’ll call at random points in the day while he’s not able to answer? I know for my fiancee, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to me, he just didn’t want to feel obligated to answer the phone when it rang if he was in the middle of something – whether he was a the strip club or the blackjack table. I asked him to just call me to say goodnight. I didn’t get a phone call until 1 o’ clock in the morning, but at least no one felt sad or lonely!
Post # 11
eh- just let him go be with the boys. I’m sure he doesn’t want to get his "balls busted" for being on the phone with his fiance. Boys can be so cruel 🙂
Post # 12
I totally understand your feelings! It sucks to be told you can’t talk to him that day! It makes it seem so much sketchier when it really isn’t sketchy at all- but it’s like- well, why not?! I get ya. And I’m a Cleveland lady too! (at heart…and by history…though now I live in Boston!) I also agree with our fellow Clevelander EAQ219 that I’m not sure I want to talk to my fiance on his bachelor party day/night. It would totally result in a stupid, petty fight, or more worry on my part. I’d almost rather just forget about it and focus on my own thing while he does his thing. I’m sure he won’t be getting into any trouble on w. sixth, and if you are OK with strip clubs then that’s even better! (I have been to Christie’s by the way, the one by Shooters, only strip club I’ve ever been to! And the only one I ever plan on going to!) Talk to him and see if at least a few texts are ok- and a goodnight phone call if you think you can handle that- and then try not to sweat it.
With other Clevelanders on the board, why is there not more action on the Cleveland board?! C’mon people! It’s almost as dead as the flats!! 🙂
Post # 13
I don’t think you are overreacting at all. My FI had his bachelor party weekend in NYC during March Madness week. While he was there, I flew to Florida to see my sister. He called me each night. It was late late but I still very much appreciated that good night I love you and can’t wait to marry you call. He never would have told me he couldn’t call because of the guys. During the day we txted a few times. Not more then a Miss you, have a great day thing, I was busy and so was he. It meant a lot to me that he cared enough to call and talk even if it was short and brief. Who cares if the groomsmen bust his balls a little. He’s marrying YOU not them. They will get over it.
Post # 14
That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard! You need to tell him that I said that. LOL
It’s just another night out with the girls/guys…there’s no reason to not have a conversation or two. Via text or actual conversating.
Post # 15
I realize that this is kind of late to join the conversation, but I wanted to add my two cents. My FI and I attended his best friend’s bachelor party and bachelorette party on the same night a few months ago. We didn’t have a "no calls" policy, but as the evening progressed, and drinking ensued on both accounts, I tried to call and text several times and didn’t get an answer. My mind just started racing at what he *might* be doing, and worked myself up into a tizzy. Turned out, he couldn’t hear his phone and it wasn’t a big deal at all. Decide together not to call after a certain point, and be done with it. If you say you will be able to call or text each other, and can’t reach him, it can just be a tough situation to put yourself into. Besides, you want to be present and engaged with your own party, and he his. It’s not fair to your friends who have gathered to be on the phone constantly.
Post # 16
Yeah, I’m not going to act like this wouldn’t bother me. I am a perfectly cool fiance, and I don’t freak out ever about him going out with his friends and stuff… but there is nothing wrong with you talking to him that day, and I think it’s kinda silly that he put up that stipulation. Even if you talk before and after, or text or something.