Post # 1
I have a coworker/friend who is getting married soon and a few months back she asked if my husband and I would do her wedding photos….I took it as a compliment but was seriously taken aback. At the highest level we are amateur photographers and enjoy it as a PT hobby, nothing more or less. I declined her request because they need a photographer who knows what they’re doing in terms of wedding photography….of which I/we have no clue. I tried to be as nice about it as possible but she seemed a little miffed. Additionally, her bridal shower has come and gone and I never received an invite; but only after telling me over and over she couldn’t wait to have me there. I let it go figuring there may have been a mix-up or something along those lines. I recently found out our only other coworker the bride plans on inviting, according to what she told me awhile back, already has her invitation….and has had it for awhile. Again, this is after mentioning several times she couldn’t wait for me to be there, etc. Maybe we’ve been put on the B list or dropped altogether, not sure and don’t want to ask. She’s also been distant since the photographer issue. I know she didn’t ask us to take photos because they’re looking to save money….their two-week honeymoon in Tahiti will end up costing them almost as much as the wedding; no expense has been spared.
My work friend has a tendency to be moody and she is over the edge in all of the planning. Not blaming her but taking it into consideration. But I do feel hurt about being told over and over about these two invites and then never receiving them. When she does seem to be in a better mood, she continues to discuss her wedding planning with me…..as in when we do talk, it’s all she wants to talk about. I get it this is all she’s thinking of right now but given the situation, it seems a little thoughtless. I feel like saying something but I don’t want to rain on her parade or cause a huge issue at work. Since the photog issue she also deleted me from her Facebook and no longer texts me.
Am I wrong to feel bothered about this? And would anyone else ask a non-professional to do their
wedding photos???? I appreciate the compliment but on one of the most important days of a person’s life, a pro is warranted…..my opinion anyway. This is all really bugging me, esp since I have to see her almost everyday.
Post # 3
You did her a favor, whether she realizes it or not. If she can’t accept that you were doing what was best for her photos and her wedding, then let her stew in her juices! She’ll understand when she finds another amateur photographer and is dissatisfied with her pictures and realizes why you declined.
Post # 4
This is a “work” friend, not a real friend. I would just let it go and not worry about it, as ohheavenlyday noted, you did her a favor whether she realizes it or not.
Post # 5
You did the right thing. You understood your limitations and decided to decline gracefully.
I would let it go and not worry about it. If she’s just a work friend, you don’t need to worry about her opinions @ this point.
And the wedding is over, hopefully she’ll come back to her senses.
Post # 6
Thanks for the replies! She is def just a work friend, which in some ways makes it easier (and in other ways harder), and I’m just confused by the whole thing. I was never sure why she asked us to do the photography in the first place. She is definitely not naive when it comes to wedding stuff and all of her wedding details seem very classy and mostly expensive. I’d like to think we take good photos but we definitely are not wedding photographers. Maybe it was just an impulse request on her part, caught up in the moment and all. Perhaps she’ll ease up after the ceremony, honeymoon, etc….I hope so because it’s a little weird at work (office is sort of small, everyone’s nosy there).
Post # 7
I guess she never intended to invite you as a guest. She wanted a free vendor. You both did each other a favor.
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
You seriously did her a favor. She needs to hire a pro, and being a “friendor” is hard even when you’re being 100% legit hired by someone you know.
Post # 9
I wonder if she was mad because she thought you’d do the photos for free!
I am in the business of making things… for work and on my own. A lot of people expect things for free simply because they know me personally. So that’s where I’m coming from on that!
Post # 10
@yassim I suspect she believes we would have done it for free, or perhaps was hoping. And I definitely see where you’re coming from (I’ve had people ask me to do things for free in the past). She bugged me about it for awhile and didn’t want to take no for an answer. I felt bad at the time but I couldn’t even imagine doing wedding photos, not for anyone! There’s no do-over if the couple isn’t happy with their photos. Add to that she’s a co-worker…..I might have forever been known as the person who did so and so’s wedding pics and royally messed them over, or whatever. Yikes, no thanks. I had been feeling badly about this drama with the bride but starting to feel better after getting feedback. I thought we were at least pretty decent work friends, and had done a few things outside of work, but if she does “come around” in the future, I will be a little more cautious with her.