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We had a first look and I loved it! It allowed us to get pictures without having to stress about getting back to our guests. We still ended up missing most of our cocktail hour (which was only about 30 minutes really) to take pictures with our families. It gave us time to be together before the ceremony (you won't be alone the rest of the wedding) and the walk down the aisle was still amazing. I would highly recommend it!
I'm doing what MissAsB did. We're doing a first look and the bulk of our photos beforehand, and then the few remaining photos during our cocktail hour. Our photographer really wants us to enjoy our cocktail hour, so we're going to try to get as many done before as possible! I personally am on the side of hating the lag time. Blagh!
Ditto to what @bakerella said! That's exactly what we're doing.
We're getting photos done at the hotel (first look, bridal party, parents), and some at the venue as well... all before the ceremony.
I truly loathe the dreaded gap (I am one of those people who will skip the ceremony if there is a 2+ hour gap)... sorry, but that's the honest truth. 
Its not rude at all. As long as you give the guests some appetizers and drinks, 1-2 hours is a good amount of time between ceremony and reception. This was really important to my FI to see me walk down the aisle so we are doing ours after the ceremony
Nope i dont think its rude at all...the last wedding I went to was just like this...but they had food and drinks so everyone was happy...just keep it to an hour tops and you will be fine...I will not be doing a first look either...I will see Teddy for the first time walking down the aisle ;)
We did our candid shots before the ceremony and the obligatory wedding party/family shots after the ceremony. Since we had an outdoor early evening ceremony, we wanted to be sure to get the pics done before the sun set!
For us, we're seeing eachother as I'm walking down the aisle. All picture that don't require BOTH of us, will be taken beforehand to reduce how much of the reception we miss.
We are taking pictures before the ceremony, but not with each other. So like, me with my girls, his gm, parents, him with my girls, his gm, parents, etc. We won't see each other till i come down the aisle. After the ceremony, we will finish our pictures all together.
I'm doing what PP is doing. Just take pictures with everyone but each other.
Do the individual pics with the bridal party and family just not the bride and groom together so that you won't see each other. Then finish pics with each other after the ceremony.
It's traditional to have the ceremony be the first time your groom sees you in your gown, and to me that's something that I couldn't imagine any different! So I don't see how people can say that it's rude, when that's how it's been done for decades!!
I agree with the others that it is advisable to provides some snacks and what not, but people will do what they want. Some will stay and chat with family, some will leave and go get ice cream at McDonalds (lol that's what we did at my cousin's wedding last year), and some might go back to their hotel room for an hour or 2.
We are definately doing the majority of our photos after the ceremony (obvi there will be some of us getting ready, and me with my bridesmaids and FI and his groomsmen beforehand). We are providing snacks, water, lemonade, coffe & tea... There will also be games set up for the kidlets, and a slideshow playing in one of the rooms during the social hour as well.
We are doing photos with parents and the bridal party before but with eachother after. I don't want him to see me in my dress and all beforehand. At our venue, (ceremony and reception in the same place) they provide a trolley to transport guests 20 at a time (because I think they don't want wanderers) so I think by the time guests sign the guestbook, get a drink and find their seats we will be ready. Our guests will also have access to the butterfly house which is kinda like your venue where thay will not be bored! Maybe just keep the photographer to an hr. between.
we are doing all pictures after the ceremony - theres a gap anyway - ceremony at 230, cocktail hour starts at 5....
so we have more than enough time. and even if we didnt i couldnt do a first look - the look on FH face when i walk down the aisle is one of the most important things to me!
We did a first look, and I'm happy we did. But you should do what makes you happy. People will wait. Just don't discuss it with any of your guests anymore if they're giving you a hard time, because it's not their decision to make!
By the way, you can always shorten the time you need for post-ceremoy pictures by taking a lot of the ones that don't require you to see each other before the ceremony.
I definitely agree with MrsT, it's a very commonly adhered-to wedding tradition and has been for a very long time, so no one should really expect you to break it, or think any less of you for following it.
Personally, the reason why I won't be doing a "first look" is because if he and I take our pictures together before the ceremony, we won't be actually married in those pictures! To me it would be like our very last engagement pictures, just in our wedding getup, and not real "wedding pictures." Cause we wouldn't have had the wedding yet! I know that may sound silly to some, but it really would bother me a lot. So, bridal pics and wedding party pics, etc, just not him and i until after we've said "I do."
There will be pictures taken before and after the ceremony. I instructed the photographer to take as many pictures as he could that did not involve me. The rest will be taken after the ceremony. I definitely do not want my fiance' seeing me before the wedding.
You should do what you want! I am doing first look, just because I know what a control freak I am and the last thing I want to be doing is taking photos after I have cried, laughed and said my I dos! However, this is me and I don't think your guests will care. Just a bit of advice, one wedding I photographed they waited until after to do pics and i had to chase down the groomsmen (who were already getting out of their tuxes and ready to party) the flower girl fell asleep, the bride was cranky.
I guess I really don't get how it's rude to have pictures taken during your cocktail hour. Your guests are being fed, watered, and entertained so what's the big deal? As long as you're fine with missing the cocktail hour, then everything is a-ok in my book.
People who are saying it's rude might be imagining a huge gap between ceremony and reception before cocktail hour starts and with nothing for the guests to do. That's a different (and controversial!) animal.
personally, for us, we agreed to do it beforehand and do the first look (which was GREAT) because we thought it would be rude to our guests - but just because that's what we think doesn't mean it's true for your wedding/situation.
I think that's SO cool your wedding is at a museum!! our ceremony and reception were in the same building and the reception immediately (like literally 5 minutes) followed the ceremony - and the reception was on the floor below - and both of us have been to weddings where we hated waiting around an hour or two (with no real "cocktail hour") for the bride/groom to have pics done...i know this phrase is over-used, lol - but honestly, whatever works for YOU! :D
we did a first l ook, which was great. besides all the other reasons mentioned, i noticed in our 2000 pictures, there is not a single pic of my husband face seeing me walk down the aisle, even though we had 2 shooters. photog said 1 of them was focused on me and the other coudn't get a good shot of him with the aisle decor etc. so therefore, the first look shots are the only shots we have documenting his reaction to me and my dress. i wouldn't trade that for the world.
even if you don't want to see each other beforehand, please do all the other photographs that you can beforehand - so family shots, GM/BM, family shots, decor shots, at my friends wedding, we even did the BM w/ the groom and the GM w/ bride - so really just about everything except the pictures that involved both the bride and groom together.
as long as you're not making your guests wait around with no food or drink, they'll be fine. that's what the cocktail hour is for and why most brides miss theirs. is it important for you to be at the cocktail hour? if so, you'll want to do a first look. if you wnat to keep it a surprise, do your bridal party portraits before (any photos that don't require both the bride and groom) to save time after the ceremony...portraits can take a long time!
This is something my FI and I have thought about ever since we met with our photographer. After months of thinking my FI and I decided we would like to see each other before the ceremony for two reasons. The first being that our photographer said we'll get some awesome pictures (definitely wasn't the reason for our decision but it helped sway our decision) and the second reason is that I am a very emotional person. Once I start crying, it takes me a while to stop and I really didn't want to be all red and puffy during our ceremony. I figured if I could see my FI prior to the ceremony it will help calm my nerves a little bit.
I'm also with many of the other people where I don't want there to be a huge lag of time between the ceremony and reception.
You take some pics b4 hand keeping you and and FH seperate. Then you finish up after the ceremony should only take a max of 1hr.
ahh! i was in a similar situation but oddly enough with my photographer...I just got married on Saturday so let me tell you what we did.
My photographer who also happens to be one of our good friends likes to take pictures of the bride and groom before the ceremony. I wasn't a fan of the idea at all. I too wanted the first time for my husband to see me when i walk down the aisle. My photographer showed me a whole bunch of pictures that we can do if we take pictures before hand, such as me walking up behind him and him turning around to see me for the first time. All the pictures he showed me were beautiful and tender.... but I still wasn't convinced. He had a point, it does give him ample amount of time to start way before the ceremony to take nice pictures of us and it does leave you time to enjoy your cocktail hr and not have to run around.
My husband and I finally decided to not take pictures before the ceremony. While our photographer really thought it would be a great opportunity to take some really nice pictures we still wanted the first look to be of me walking down the aisle. So what we did was right after the ceremony (11am)(yes very early wedding) we did short receiving line, just me and him (the line moves much faster when there are less ppl) then we took some pictures with our parents, grandparents, etc at the church. we drove about 30 min. to a park by our reception location to take pictures with the bridal party and got to our reception location right on time at 2pm
We had food at the church so our family and friends stayed there eating and talking and some of my family went to another family friends house for a bit to hang out. 3 hrs may same like a long time but it really isn't and ppl find ways to entertain themselves, they really do! none of our friends/family complained about it.
Also since we were quite limited for time our photographer took pictures of just me and him 2 days after the wedding. This was awesome! we spent the whole afternoon (1-5) taking pictures at different locations. See if your photographer would be willing to do a 'day after' shoot of just the two of you. this way you don't have to see each other ealier and you won't be pressed for time in btwn the ceremony and reception to take pictures of you guys with your fam. you with your bridal party AND you guys as a couple.
Super long post... but I really wanted to share that with you since i was there 6 days ago! btw don't forget to look at him as soon as you walk down, I missed his initial reaction (he was crying!!) keep your eyes on the prize! =P
I'm not married but I voted other. I plan on taking photos with my family and bridal party before but FI and I will not see each other until the ceremony so that is when pictures together will be taken. I feel people expect the gap and don't mind it.
We saw each other for the first time when I walked down the aisle. We had a 2:00 ceremony and 5:00 reception. I was worreid peopel wouldn't like the gap, but it turned out fien, and I loved that we waited to see each other. We did take photos pre-ceremony- just not together. I took some family photos and photos with bridesmaids, so we could focus on photos that requierd both of us after the ceremony.
I think you should do what yoy both really want. I was really happy with the way things turned out and since you have a cool venue, I think once people are there, they'll enjoy it.
i still have no idea what to do. Photog is bugging me because he wants my wedding schedule, and i still don't know when to take the pics with my FI. he says it's "my decision" (don't you hate that?)
None of those choices exactly worked for us. We had pictures taken after the ceremony, because we wanted to include all of our guests in the pictures. (We only had a dozen guests.) So everyone hung around for pictures, then we all went to the reception. There was no cocktail hour for guests/use off around town to get pictures time.
My sister did both -
she had the groom & groomsmen take pictures with the photographer and then they went to the venue. Then my sister and bridesmaids took pictures and then we started the wedding. After the ceremony we took pictures all together as a group and it saved soo much time so the cocktail hour wasnt forever and the wedding still started on time! it went perfectly. I would definitely suggest that.
i am assuming that everyone who has done a first look has had nothing but positive experiences? i would like to hear more comparision between first look and those who waited until you walked down the aisle...
We did the first look and I am so glad that we did. It worked out perfectly. It was a moment that we shared...alone...aside from the photographers. But it truly was amazing. I can share a few photos with you or the video where it captures our first look during a portion of it.
I'm really glad we did it this way as well, because we were also able to enjoy our guests immediately following the ceremony at cocktail hour and we got to go around and see people then and not during the entire reception.
Usually I don't like that idle time between the ceremony and reception, I usually get pretty bored. However in your case I would most definitely use that time to check out the museum, that would be the perfect way for your guest to be entertained while you are taking pictures. They will not even notice they are waiting around for you, unless they have no interest in the museum (which I can't possibly imagine - musuems are so cool!)
Also, we did our first look and wedding party photos beginning 3 hours before the wedding.
BEFORE! We took pictures before the wedding at my best friend's wedding and it was wonderful. Guests didn't have to sit through them, and we didn't have to reapply our makeup after sweating in the hot sun (outdoor wedding in August in the midwest).
Plus, I personally am not a superstitious person and would prefer to see my FI BEFORE we got married. That way I could at least cry and get some of the jitters out of the way before walking down the isle and blubbering through my vows. :)
We are waiting until after the ceremony, but that's VERY normal in our area to have that gap, especially with a church ceremony. But a lot of our people don't come to the ceremony, just the reception. The people that do come to the ceremony can go home in between, or go for lunch, etc. I don't think it's a big deal. They will have plenty of notice beforehand by the invitations, so they can make arrangements.
I would say that you should totally utilize the space where you are having the reception. Why have it at a museum if people cant experience it, you know? So in this case I think not having a first look would work out perfectly.
I voted do both. We did him with the bridal party, him with his family, and me with the bridal party, and a few others before hand. We didn't see eachother until I walked down the aisle. So we did all of "our" pictures and pictures that had us in them together after the wedding.
Edited to say:
Even though we enjoyed the traditional us seeing eachother at the alter...we did miss an hour of our reception. Alot of our guests had already left before we arrived.
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This has been one of the BIGGEST things that people have had an opinion on. Personally, we would rather wait until AFTER the ceremony to take our pictures together. We really want the first time we see eachother to be when I am walking down the aisle. However, a lot of our friends and family think that it's "rude" to keep the guests waiting.
I don't think that it's rude, since we are having our reception at a museum. It comes with 2 hours of viewing time, so I don't see why they can't hang out and have appetizers and look at the museum while we are getting our photos taken. We are doing the photos at the ceremony spot, so they're not going to take forever to do. What do you guys think? How do you feel about the photographer capturing the "first look"? (BEFORE the ceremony)?
Any of you married brides: Did you choose to do the first look, or wait until the ceremony to see each other? I NEED HELP!
Please explain any experience you have had with either a first look or waiting til after the ceremony.