Post # 1
I’m not even technically engaged yet because my SO and I are in a long distance, long term relationship (he’s from NZ and I’m from NY). I know he’s proposing sometime during the two week period that he and his parents are coming up next May. They get to meet my family and he will be helping me pack and move into his home after attending my college graduation.
I feel like I may be reacting badly but over the past month my mother has been making comments about the whole affair because she knows he’ll be proposing and she wants to throw a party to celebrate two graduations, have a going away for me, and combining a bunch of birthdays. She always says when she talks about it, “It’d be nice to celebrate an engagement too . . .” Now today, as we were talking about potential dates with the original idea being April 16, 2014, I mention that we might need to push it back to Decemeber 2014. Instead of asking why or having a real talk about it she tells me that by waiting until December my wedding will be unimportant and less special because we’ll have been living together for a year and a half at that point. Then she makes comments about how old I’ll be by then (I just turned 26). Am I right to be hurt or is she right?
Post # 3
What is the cause of delay?
And I would ignore her. My mom and FMIL can’t believe I would have such a long engagement (15 months). They had a 4 month and a 6 month. I ignore them
Post # 4
It’s mostly because the idea of a California wedding is falling through (that would’ve cost somewhere around $25,000). Insead we were going to do something closer to what will be our home and cost more around the $10,000 mark which seems more reasonable. April in New Zealand is more like November in New York so a December wedding will be more spring like and a lot nicer for an outdoor wedding. Plus we’ll be able to get local flowers instead of trying to ship something in.
To make it up to the people back home and so they don’t feel pressured to go to New Zealand, I’ll be booking a banquet hall and we’re working on figuring out how to do a live feed. We’ll get a cake made for there and do everything as much the same as possible. I just don’t understand how someone could say that a wedding is less special or unimportant just because we’re living together 8 months longer than we originally planned. The age thing I sort of understand but don’t need rubbed in my face by my own mother, ya know?
I feel bad about how I handled it though. When she said that to me I instantly felt my heart drop into my stomach and my eyes started to get a bit watery. I just got up and left instead of listening any more or really trying to explain it to her. Doesn’t help that my SO has been MIA all day.
Post # 5
December is the start of Summer here in NZ..we’re getting married in January 🙂
Where in NZ are you having the wedding?
It won’t be any less special waiting until December, I’ve lived with my FI for 4 years!
Post # 6
@littlepossum: At this point, more than likely Kakaramea using one of his Aunt’s front yard for the ceremony and reception. We’ll be living in Hawera though.
I went and lived there for the entire month of June last year and loved how beautiful it was. I will however, miss my Wegmans Supermarkets and DSW but at least I’ll have my Kiwi boy!