Post # 1
My wedding is small and Im having 1 maid of honor and her daughters (my neices) are the flower girls. I picked out my sisters dress but I still made sure whe liked it. Now for the flower girl dresses – my sister has already let her daughters pick the dresses they want from Pinterest and websites. All dresses my neices want I HATE because they all have red in them somehow and I want plain Ivory dresses. They are all super over the top and poofy (like a child would pick, princess style) and I want simple. Well since my sister let them do that now all the dresses I pick out are too plain and they dont like them. Isnt it ultimately my decision? I feel ackward because my sister has to pay for the dresses but I am being mindful of the price. But isnt it my say? We only have 3 months left and still no dresses because my sister wont get dreses the girls dont like? The dresses I LOVE are on sale at Davids Bridal for 59.00 right now but they dont like them. Do I just grow a pair and say too bad? I’m not exactly sure what the etiquette is and Im not sure where to go from here……
Post # 2
You choose the dress. That’s just how it goes and everyone knows it. Your sister shouldn’t have done that, sorry she’s put you in a tight spot. Just sit her down and talk to her about it. They only have to wear the dress once so if they don’t like it it shouldn’t be the end of the world. Plus, your wedding is happening soon. Your sister (who I’m assuming has already gone through a wedding of her own) should understand the issue you’re having.
Post # 3
While yes, you get the final say, perhaps if you’re set on these and they are set against maybe you should just pay for them and then theres no reason they should have a say. As you said they’re only $59 dollars and might save you a lot of headache.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
MrsRoberts52: This. And if she doesn’t want to buy them because she’s saying “I don’t want to buy a dress they don’t like,” implying that it’s a waste of money since they won’t wear it again… You might remind her that they’re probably not going to wear poofy princess style dresses again either.
Post # 5
Ditto with the pp. Your sister behaved inappropriately by telling her daughters they could choose their dress. I would talk with your sister, tell her that you appreciate the time and effort she has expended in supporting your wedding, but her choice of dress for the girls simply doesn’t work for your wedding.
Is there any chance you could pay for the dresses? I think it would go long way towards smoothing things over with your sister.
Post # 6
I’d worry about having grumpy little children on the day who refuse to wear the dresses/walk down the aisle in them.
Post # 7
cpick: I agree with this.
While it wasn’t appropriate for your sister to let them pick out dresses without your involvement. Is it really that big of a deal? You can buy the dresses you want and say they have to wear them and that’s all well and good. But they are children, little girls at that, and you can’t force them to understand or be happy or possibly even walk down the aisle if they are unhappy about what they are wearing. You really need to focus on trying to find dresses that everyone can agree on.
Post # 8
I agree with what the others have said, but just to brainstorm another sort of olive branch –
Maybe you could make the girls agree to wearing the dresses by accessorizing it with one of these?
– Fairy wands with ribbons and glitter
– Flower crowns
– Tiaras or wax paper crowns
– Bold girly purses
Hope that helps!
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2014 - Forest and Ball Room
My “flower girls” objected the dress I picked out until I told them they could carry balloons instead of throwing flowers…but ONLY if they wear that dress and give no attitude about it. So far, when I ask them to try thier dress on, I get no lip and now they are excited.
I agree that your sister is in the wrong. I would be a little ticked if I was in your situation. I know that you mentioned they picked big poofy dresses would you maybe meet half way and do a tutu dress? Most little girls LOVE them. Just a thought. SOURCES: Dress #1 Dress #2 Can’t find Dress #3’s url. But all of these are on etsy.
good luck OP. I hope that you are able to come to an agreement soon!
Post # 10
This dress comes in ivory with a matching ivory sash with a very pretty bow in the back. It is plain, classic and a little princessy. You can even do a child’s crinoline slip under to make it poofier. Add some sparkle with a child’s tiara or headband. My flower girl put this on and was doing circles. She is beyond into princesses – like has EVERY disney princess dress for dress up – and was over the moon about it. Maybe a good compromise?
Post # 11
MissStoGee: thats a good idea. I may offer that up although it makes me sick that i have to pay for something because shes a butthole!
MrsRoberts52: i feel better knowing that thats just the way it goes….i wasnt 100% sure on the etiquette! thanks!
LMD: good point. im going to have to use that line!
cpick: trust me i am…..
Jen041815: Thats the problem were having though is that we cant agree. Im dead set on no color in their dresses and they are dead set on colors in their dresses. Im not picking out ugly dresses they are just being a little snooty!
geneva2: its worth a try! little girls and wands, very irresistable!
akkaer1: as a compromise I found Etsy tutu dresses but my sister (not the kids) did not like them. I love etsy tutus!
Post # 12
I was also going to recommend a sash!
Ultimately, it’s your decision, and your sister acted in the wrong. But, what’s done is done, and a little compromise might be worth it to avoid grumpy kids.
You could get a plain ivory dress with a bit of poof, with red sashes they can put on as soon as the ceremony is over.
I also LOVE the ballon idea!
Post # 13
fall2014: lol! this was a pick of theirs but only because its shown with the red sash. As soon as you take out the red sash they dont like it anymore I can compromise on the poof, a little, but the red i will not compromise on!
Post # 14
akkaer1: NOTLBride: I love the balloon idea too!
Post # 15
The flower girls’ mother bullied me into a dress in my wedding. I didn’t like it. I still don’t like it. I didn’t have the courage to tell her that it was my choice, and I regret that. Stand up for what you want and tell your sister that you just don’t like the dresses they picked and that you’re going with the one you like. Agree to pay for them, and move on.
If they love the red sash, maybe they can add it on at the reception, after all the pictures are done?