Post # 1
Ok, my FI and my favourite food is roast lamb. So, for our wedding we’re having joints of roast lamb, carved at the table. When we were planning, there was quite a bit of fuss made over our choice, with people saying we should have a more popular meat like chicken, as lots of people don’t like lamb. So, as a way round this, in our invites we told people that the dinner was going to be a fish starter (we’re having salmon encroute) followed by lamb, but that there was the option of a vegetarian soup and a vegetarian main if they wanted. We also said it was fine for people to mix and match vegetarian and non-vegetarian as they wished. We’re obviously also catering for specific food intolerances/vegans etc on an individual basis.
So now we find that FI’s dad’s cousin (who hasn’t RSVPd yet) doesn’t like lamb, and won’t eat vegetarian food. My FMIL said “she doesn’t like goat’s cheese”. I pointed out that not one single thing on the menu has goat’s cheese in it (the veg option is French onion tart), and that since all the courses are very very rich (salmon encroute with hollandaise, roast lamb and dauphinoise potatoes, sticky toffee pudding and cream), maybe she could try the tart, and if she doesn’t like it, just have extra potatoes. But apparently that’s not good enough, they’re expecting us to come up with something else for her, or give her 2 starters.
Is it just me that thinks that it’s unreasonable to start bandying about random food preferences when your meal is being paid for at a big event? It’s not a restaurant.
Post # 3
No, it’s not just you. I don’t have much time for picky eaters like that. It would be nice if every wedding meal could cater for everyone’s taste, but that is basically impossible. They should try everything that’s there and if they don’t like it, there’s always bread (that’s what my mother always said). They have lots of notice and would be able to plan to eat beforehand/afterward if they are worried.
Could your FMIL have the salmon starter followed by vegetarian soup? With bread, of course 🙂
Post # 4
some people just like to moan!
After chicken (as it is relatively cheap) lamb would be the most popular meat in New Zealand (for obvious reasons!)
stick with what you’ve got, it sounds really good
I’d be more worried about people not liking salmon than lamb, although that is in NZ
Post # 5
@foxi – I’m Welsh, so that’s part of the reason I’m sticking to my guns over the lamb. Can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t like it
I’m mainly worried that it’s all so rich that I’m going to make people ill! It’s the kind of meal that needs a defibrillator on standby!
I just wanted to vent at how annoying people can be. I’ve told my FI that if he wants to make special arrangements for his dad’s cousin, then HE’LL have to do it. I’m not lifting a finger on this one!
Post # 6
I’m a lacto-ovo vegetarian with a degree in Religious Studies…so when I started planning our wedding menu I was really really worried about little things – is there gletain in anything? is it pork based or horse based or a vegetarian alternative? Is there a drop of rum in the entire 3-layer cake? If so, will my very orthodox Muslim cousins be able to eat it? Is shrimp allowed in all schools of Islamic thought? etc etc….
Then…I calmed down. I realized that as a veggie, people rarely think about me when planning meals, but I do just fine and always figure out on my own what I can eat and what I can’t. Therefore, I just need to pick delicious food…and a variety of food and leave people to determine on their own what they won’t/can’t eat. Especially if you have a very large wedding or very picky people, you can’t please everyone.
Post # 7
Seriously, people should grow up. As a guest you should eat what you are served. If you are a really picky eater you should eat something before you go out.
Post # 8
@cakegal: I second that!
Don’t worry about other people, it’s your wedding, have the food that you want!
Post # 9
@cakegal – I totally agree! I can’t believe my FMIL is pushing this, either. A while back we were discussing wedding stuff, and I’d said how I was stressed because I had wanted a no-child wedding, and for various family related reasons I had to let that one go, and she’d said how she can’t stand people making stress for couples at weddings, and how annoyed it makes her.
And here she was, making a big deal over a cousin with picky food tastes! (I’d like to add, this was said to me when I’d just walked in the door after a 15 hour day at work, which was preceded by 10 straight 12-14 hour days…) Because obviously that’s more worth making a fuss over than people’s kids…
We’re catering for 140, including vegetarians, vegans, and some exciting food intolerances, and I just think that “I don’t like that” is really pushing things. I’m glad you guys agree that it’s unreasonable!
Post # 10
We had some food at our wedding that I knew some of my family wouldn’t enjoy. Luckily they never complained and let us do our thing – you’ll never know what people a few tables away do or don’t eat! I tried to pick food that were “us” but also provide appetizers that I knew everyone would like. I think its all about balance – with a large group you want to make sure everyone is fed and happy – the last thing you want is hungry wedding guests at the end of the night. Maybe you could add to the menu, add some table appetizers (cheese, crackers to munch on after cockatil hour) or talk to your caterer about your issues.
Post # 11
It is unreasonable to expect the bride & groom to accommodate individual food preferences. Picky eaters should plan to eat something before or after the wedding if they don’t like what’s on offer. As you said, it’s not a restaurant.
Post # 12
I’m a picky eater (I don’t eat fruits or vegetables), and I’ve gone hungry at many weddings. It’s not the bride and groom’s fault, and I don’t expect anyone to cater to my preferences.
Serve what you want! If they’re hungry enough, they’ll find something to eat!
Post # 13
hmmm to be totally honest i’m on the fence about this one. I am a super super picky eater so there are lots of times where there is nothing i want to eat a place and i deal. and for the most part i’m fine with it because being a picky eater is my problem, not my hosts. so in theory, i agree with you 100%
it seems to me like the options you’ve picked aren’t normal stuff that most people would like and its just the picky eaters that won’t like it… it seems like you’ve picked kind of specialized stuff that there is a good chance a LOT of people won’t like. So that is where i feel like maybe you should’ve been more accommodating. If you want to have lamb, thats cool– have lamb. But a french onion tart seems kind of out there in terms of food most people would like. Why not do a pasta vegetarian option… that is something that most people like. or do the tart and then a chicken. I just think that you picked pretty fancy/specialized food and so you can’t be taht surprised that you’re having issues with it.
sorry… just my opinion.
Post # 14
@CorgiTales: I totally agree!
I am not a picky eater, IMO the food you guys picked is not something the majority of people would eat. When selecting our food we picked food that we knew EVERYONE would like.
Post # 15
It’s not like you’re serving monkey brains and beetle dung!
I don’t understand picky eaters, do they not go to eat at friend’s or family’s houses, there’s only one main course there. Or are there diets that limited? It’s beyond me and definately not somewhere I’d budge. You’re providing two delicious options and it’s really rude just to demand more soup, especially if she doesn’t like it. That’s confusing, I guess she thinks she won’t be full but umm….that I really don’t have much sympathy for. Bring a protein bar if you’ve got blood sugar to worry about.
I donno, I’ve had times where there’s exotic meals served, some I haven’t loved, but it’s one freaking meal, what’s the big deal.
Post # 16
I think what “normal people” eat varies by region, family, social group. The majority of my guests are very into gourmet food and would be very disappointed with chicken and veggie pasta. It would sort of be considered a cop-out.