Post # 1
I need advice. My fiace and I want to make a table at the reception with pictures and a sign that says “Where We Come From”. We have pictures of our grandparents and parents when they were young. But I mentioned it to my mom and she was worried that it would offend her husband.
My dad died 18 years ago and my mom just got remarried last year after never have dating anyone since my dad passed. I really don’t see why this should offend him. It will be a picture of my mom and dad when they were 18 and she didn’t meet her husband until she was 55.
Do you think I should just not do it? Is this inapropriate?
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s inappropriate at all especially since your father is deceased and it is not a matter of divorce.
Post # 4
Were your parents separated before your father passed, or together?
Were you going to put up a photo of them together or separate pictures of each of them?
Post # 5
I personally don’t see why he would be offended…I think it’s a cute idea. If all else fails, is there not a way to compromise and have a picture of both your mom and dad and then your mom and her new husband?
Post # 6
They were together. And I guess I could just put pictures of them seperate. But I just have some really cute pictures of my grandparents together when they were young and my fiance’s granparents and parents together so I would prefer to put a picture of them together. But I could compromise on that.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I don’t think it’s inappropriate at all. I used wedding pictures of family members as part of our display; my parents are divorced. I used a small picture from their wedding, and an even smaller picture from my mom’s more recent wedding to her new husband in 2009. 😉 Is something like that an option, or would that be too strange for you?
Post # 8
I think you should. It is YOUR dad and he was a part of you and your moms life and you cant ignore that. I would just bring it up to your stepdad and let him know its not to offend him, but to honor your family history. Maybe even include os photo of their wedding too. Im sure your mom is just being sensitive to his feeling, but i bet he wont be offended by it at all.
Post # 9
@spaniel: I guess that would be fine to also put one of them. It would be kind of weird since I’ve known him for less than a year, but he’s a good guy and part of our family now. So I guess I could.
Post # 10
I think this is an amazing idea. in your situation it is perfectly fine and not inappropriate. I think it would only be inappropriate (regarding the father-step father war) if…
1. you were raised by your step father not your bilogical father and you put your biological fathers picture on the table
2. your parents were never married
3. maybe if your parents had an awful divorce
But it seems your situation does not match any of these so I think you are good.
I think this is also a way to honor your father at your wedding and it is really nice 😉
Post # 11
keep the pictures of them together! seriously…
Post # 12
@kristinlynn86: honestly in YOUR situation i think it is weird to have a picture of your mom and her new husband becuase they just got married. I assume you were not raised by this man in any way so in that case nothing about you comes from him. You know? I think that is a cute idea for another situation…like spaniel’s situation was good for that but if your table theme is “where we came from” I dont think a pic of him is appropriate. Just my opinoin…but you could incorporate him and your mom in the wedding someother way maybe?
Post # 13
@bestbuddies: I agree, after hearing the circumstances, I don’t think there’s anything inappropriate about it!
Unless her new husband is SUPER insecure or something, I’d be surprised if he was upset.
It sounds like you’re not close to him, but maybe you (or maybe your mom) could run it by him ahead of time, just so he’s at least aware/prepared?
Post # 14
Personally, I wouldn’t care if he was offended. My dad passed away when I was 19 and if my mom remarried and I had your idea, I would put their wedding photo on display because that’s what I grew up with. That is your mom and dad. It’s where you come from.
Post # 15
It’s you wedding day and I think that it’s to be expected that you would want to include your father in your big day (whether or not he’s with you in body or in spirit). I can’t imagine him being offended (I don’t know him obviously, but the pic is from long ago and it’s of YOUR parents on YOUR wedding day). I think including a pic of him and your mom would be a nice sentiment as well (just to avoid any hurt feelings), but not necessary if you feel uncomfortable with it. Could you talk to your mom’s husband directly and explain the situation?
Post # 16
I personally would do both pictures of your mother with your father and her new husband.
However, without sounding insensitive, could you maybe do a photo of your dad by himself and a picture of your mother and her new husband?
I understand that it was the two of them together that made you, but considering it has been such a long time since his death, maybe your mother feels like having a picture of your parents together will overshadow her current relationship?