Post # 1
Anyone else encountering photography drama post-wedding? My mother-in-law had a laundry list of all the pictures she wanted my cousin (he played our ‘professional’ photographer) to take – pictures of her and her daughter, her, her daughter and granddaughter, etc. I wrote it all down.
Well, of course, the wedding day is very busy. We made sure to take pictures during the receiving line, but I didn’t get full family pictures with my family and we didn’t get any with his family. We had pictures with his parents…then my parents…then our siblings…etc, but that was it. I told my mother-in-law ahead of time who my cousin was if she wanted pictures, and she could have asked my husband at any point if she wanted them.
My sister-in-law also took pictures and posted hers on Facebook (these pictures were exclusively of my side). My mom copied them, clearly labeling them as my sister-in-law’s. Of course my mother-in-law comes in with, “Why didn’t the photographer get any pictures of my family like I thought he would?” My brother replied that we were still waiting on those pictures, but that these pictures were those my sister-in-law had taken.
Her response was curt with, “Well, I don’t remember getting my whole side with (my son).” I told her that we didn’t get those pictures with EITHER side. It happens. It wasn’t my responsibility – nor in fact the responsibility of my cousin doing us a favor – to hunt her side down to get pictures. My husband sat with her a good portion of the night. She had ample opportunity to say, “Who’s the photographer again? Can we get pictures with all of us?” instead of throwing a stink more than a week later.
The way she phrased it just made it sound like my family had purposely excluded hers and she was helpless. So, I can just imagine the gossip that’s going around. Family…don’t you love it? 😀
What kind of post-wedding drama did you have with your in-laws?
Post # 3
Sorry but I disagree. If your cousin was acting as wedding photographer, it was his job to get all the pictures you talked about beforehand. The fact that you don’t have pictures of your full family or the family photos she wanted is a real shame. You can’t redo those and I’m not sure it’s something you can label as “it happens.”
Post # 4
I can understand her disappointment. I’m not suggesting doing a hand-wave and a “meh.” I am saying she had hours to rectify that, and our cousin was not a paid vendor – he was doing them as a favor. It’s a little too late to get upset about it a week later, is what I’m saying.
I don’t blame her for wanting those pictures. I blame her for not taking any steps to rectify it until after when she had plenty of opportunity to do so at the time.
Post # 5
This is, unfortunately, the problem with “friendors.” It’s hard to get upset when you don’t get what you and your family expected, because it was a favor, it was done at a discounted rate, or whatever the terms of the deal were.
She probably assumed, as I would have if I were in her shoes, that the photographer was working according to his schedule and would make his way to the family for photographs. The night slipped away, and she didn’t realize that the photographs hadn’t been taken in the joy of seeing her son married. Once proofs (or in this case, not even proofs, but pictures someone else took) were posted, it jogged her memory that the pictures weren’t taken.
I’d definitely apologize, but explain that you were also wrapped up in the joy and emotion of the evening and weren’t aware that the photographer — friendor or not — didn’t get all of the photographs that your MIL had requested. There’s not much that can be done to remedy the situation more than a heartfelt apology, but that might just be enough to appease her.
Post # 6
Was she trying to use your wedding as an excuse just to do a whole family portrait? Or is she genuinely upset that there isn’t a photo of everyone together on your wedding day?