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We are definately doing pics before hand. I want to make the most of our time with our guests and with our photographer. Plus we're having a night time wedding and wouldn't be able to get pics outside at our fairytale castle venue if we didn't do them before hand. Another good point is that by seeing each other before hand with your photographer means that you'll have caught those first looks for eternity. Those photos from the private sessions always give me the "awe so romantic" feeling. Oh, and I'm going to be so nervous... I want to get a big hug in from my hunny before I've got to stand up in front of all those eyes!
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A few bees have blogged about this dilemma, and there's been lots of discussion on the boards, so you're not alone! We took pictures beforehand- didn't want to be rushed, and didn't want to miss out on time with our guests. Besides the fact that it was going to be 105deg that day, so pictures early (before sweatiness!) was definitely good. That 'first look' wasn't really a factor for us because M came with me dress shopping anyway.
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I agree with the others. We are definitely doing pictures ahead of time. Plus, when I'm feeling nervous or anxious or overwhelmed or happy or sad or anything, he's the one I want to be with -- so I think I'll need him before the ceremony on our wedding day! :) I think the aisle walk can still be very romantic, even if you've seen each other ahead of time.
All the best!
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I will be seeing my groom before hand because we have to sign a document HOWEVER if this was your childhood wish I would really fight hard to make it come true--it your guests wait--they wait. Not like I havent waited at 99% of all weddings. Consider having your new husband thank everyone for their patience and for allowing him to grant you this long held wish. Now you've made it special instead of empty time. We have to let go of so many things we hoped for--this really can be managed and you deserve it!
I am all for the "first sight" of each other photos. It will be a nice comforting moment between the bride and groom. And not to sound vain, but your make-up will be the "freshest" too.
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I agree! We are seeing eachother before the ceremony. His Aunt is totally against it. But hey! it's what Fi and I want to do. We don't want to rush and we want to be able to mingle with our guest during cocktail hours before the music gets loud and non of us can't hear eachother talk. LOL I totally agree with the third line saramari said.
Do your pictures before hand...I read somewhere that it doesn't change the effect of when he first sees you walking down the aisle...he obviously isn't going to be sayin to himself "oh geez..that ole dress again" Plus your make-up is still fresh (no tear stained water marks running down your face) and a little alone time before the ceremony can calm both your nerves
I kind of want to disagree with the other posters here. I am surprised that most people are encouraging you to see the groom beforehand. I'm sure for lots of people the first look photos don't take away from him seeing you walk down the aisle, but it would completely destroy the moment for me. Call me a traditionalist, but the BEST part of the wedding to me is looking at the groom's face when he sees his bride for the first time that day, in that moment. Like you, I've looked forward to that moment for myself forever, and it's something I don't want to lose, and hanging out in our wedding garb for a couple of hours preceremony would just eliminate all those feelings for me.
We had a similar dilemma...our wedding is outside, but it's late and our photographer told us that it would probably be too dark after the ceremony to take pictures outside. This was a very compelling argument because what is the point of having a garden wedding if you have no outdoor pictures with your groom? At first I was very hesitant to do it but we decided it wasn't really that big of a deal. Since both me and my fiancee think we'll cry when we see each other, hopefully this will lessen the bawling during the ceremony.
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We were going to have the pictures after the wedding while our guests were doing cocktail hour but decided against it. The con to this is that my dress could become dirty before the wedding while posing all around the island in these pictures, but its worth it.
The whole "first look as I come down the aisle" thing isn't as important to me, and to be honest, your honey is going to still look at you with awe anyway because you are coming down an aisle! for him! to get married!- to him! , so yeah, not worried about that.
Now, we are just going to do it beforehand with just us for like an hour. While we are doing that the guests will be in cocktail hour and then the ceremony. Then of course, we are going to take big group shots of everyone on the beach and go to the reception. The end, good night.
My friend had a destination wedding and she didn't have pictures before hand, her wedding flew by so fast and they had quite a few pictures where it was dark already. So if one of your priorities is lots of pictures your going to be on a tight time frame. One solution people often do is a day after shoot. Those are always beautiful too. If you chose not to have a reveal before the ceremony, your photog is already around since your having a dw. It really depends on how you feel.
We had our "first look" before our ceremony as well, as we planned for photos beforehand. For us, having the photos done before also allowed us time to relax/calm down before the ceremony and we then weren't nervous at all during the vows. Walking down the aisle and seeing DH at the altar was still an emotional moment even though we'd spent the last couple hours prior together.
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My wedding is in three months (eeek!) and we're still debating against this. Like so many others, it was one of the few "set" theories I had of what my wedding would be like -- that we wouldn't see each other the day of. But.... we have a limited time at our venue: ceremony can't start earlier than 6, and we have to be out of there by 10. Plus, my DF and I can both easily (EASILY) see ourselves both sobbing during the ceremony from the rush of emotions -- and I'm not sure that I want to be that bride. (And THEN have to add time for a touch-up on top of all the pictures we want individually and with our guests and family during what is supposed to be 45 minutes for a cocktail hour).
Money is also a consideration, of course. 2/3rds of our guests are traveling far to meet us -- London and Alaska and Texas -- and we want to spend as much time as possible iwth them. The food is costing us an arm and a leg -- over $10K for a seated dinner for 70 people. The photographer/videographer is $3K for "8 hours" of coverage -- and let's face it, the primary stuff hat I want to get is the posed stuff during the supposedly 45-minutes of cocktail hour. I think it's just too much and realistically we're going to have to just have a secial "reveal" beforehand and start taking pictures then, and then save the "cocktail hour" for grabbing my grandmother, my extended family, my DF's extended family, his parents, my parents, etc, etc. Thank God I've got a small wedding party (my brother is my man of honor and his best friend is his best man) and we have no stupid bridesmaid dresses/bouquets to deal iwth during the photog session. (Can't tell you how many times I've been a bridesmaid and spent hours with the photog trying to get everyone's bouquets to "line up" in the picture or whatver.)
I agree, at first I was steadfast about waiting until the ceremony to see each other. But I like the idea of seeing each other before the ceremony, it is defiinitely more intimate, and especially in our case it works better for us. Our venue doesn't have the ideal place for pictures, so we are going to the harbor and Federal Hill to take all the formal pics before the ceremony starts.
Our photographers give unlimited time and locations, so it is all falling into place. I agree with your groom, and think you should see each other before the ceremony. And like katnmad, you'll be able to get out your emotions before your in the time crunch of the actual wedding.
I was all aboard with doing a shoot beforehand. I want to enjoy my cocktail hour, not be pulling people away for pictures. Plus I think you get better pictures of the first look this way, when it's private. I can't wait!!
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Our wedding is in three weeks and we still haven't decided whether to see each other or not before the ceremony. I was always against this, but am now thinking otherwise. I guess I was caught up in the romantisism of my groom seeing me for the first time as I walk down the aisle, but my groom thinks it will be just as, or more, special to have a private meeting (with photographer present) beforehand so that we can take our pictures with each other and our wedding party before the ceremony. Reason this is important? We are having a destination wedding mostly for the beautiful scenery in that location for pictures. Groom wants to make the most of it and not be rushed while our guests are at the cocktail hour to get the pics we want. We also want to get pictures as a big group of our families and our officiant after the ceremony and he's worried we'll get caught there and not have enought time. Anyway, I'd love to hear from those who have advice and if you are already married, what you did and if you recommend that or not. Thanks everyone!