Lastnight our pillow talk session went something like this.....
Me: "So I was thinking since wedding photographers take pics of the bride's shoes....I was going to get some Manolo's or Choo's....whatdya think?"
MrPodo: "Those are the ones on Sex & the City....I know those..."
Me: "Wow you do? Nice~ so....I wanna get em"
Mr Podo: "Yeah get em....how much are they?" He looks over at me and I can see the white of his eyes in the dark...
Me Podo: "Ummmm.....ummmmm....lemme think.....hmmmmm....not thaaat much....yeah I'm gonna get em...."
Mr Podo: "How much?......"
Me Podo: "Ummmm............................like five...?" I look over at him..
Mr Podo: "Like 5 hundred?? 500? NO THANK NO THANK YOU BERRY MUCH!"
Me:
He's probably right...I am wearing them once....or am I? I could dye them black later and where them out!!! So....is it wrong of me to go ahead and buy them?? We just got a JOINT account....ddoh!!
Um, yes, it would be wrong. $500 is a lot of money. FI and I will be making over $300k annually, together, and $500 is still a lot of money to us. You should probably have some agreement about either how much money each of you has to spend each month on anything you want, or at what dollar level you need to agree on a purchase. If you get $300 every month as "your money," and you want to go two months without lattes and manicures to get your Manolos, that's fair. Same for him - you don't want him going out and ordering a new $500 putter, after you just told him you think it's too much money, do you? Especially if he pays out of the joint account, and later that month your debit card won't go through at Safeway when you have a cart full of groceries... Compromise and teamwork - and if you want to spend anything you want on shoes, whenever you feel like it, give the ring back and get your own apartment!
The photos may include your shoes, but not the bottoms and not the label. Find a pair of shoes that are reasonably priced that you love. No one looks at the pictures and says -- "aren't those shoes lovely, oh, but they are not Choo's, what was that bride thinking?"
I agree with both suzanno and calioteach. It seems like it would be a bad idea to break trust by spending such a sum when you were asked not to. And, no one really is going to pay attention to the shoes. It's a great idea to look for a style you like in a similar shoe, or to maybe even borrow a cute pair from a friend who has name brand shoes if that it what you want. You could kill two birds with one stone-killer shoes and something borrowed:)
They have several of the bigger names and they are running a special until the end of June so it is only $50 to borrow them. It looks like they are relatively new so the selection isn't great but it might be worth a shot!
Say you do get the shoes, and it starts a huge fight, and then you get your dream wedding shoe photo. Do you really want that photo reminding you of your biggest wedding fight?
Aww man, as soon as I read "So....is it wrong of me to go ahead and buy them??" I was like DON'T DO IT! A marriage should not be about just going out and getting something just because you want it...especially when it is that expensive. A good marriage needs to have good communication and to me that's just not how I think you should start out your marriage together, is it really worth a pair of shoes? There are plenty of nice shoes out there and I guarantee you will be able to find a cheaper pair that looks very similar. Maybe post a picture on here and see if anyone can help you find similar shoes.
Maaa baaaaad......All of you are right! I was having a materialistic moment all b/c the brand HO in me came out....but she's gone now....really...she is....so I will follow the wonderfully logical advice...thanks again for preventing a fight...snmcdowell...good point about the shoe pic..haha...
Hey MissPodo, don't feel bad. It's really hard to not get caught up in the whole designer shoe thing... I'm guilty of it myself! I give myself a few moments to gush and then tell myself that although those all those photos of Louboutins are lovely (and swarovski tiaras... and customized aisle runners... and ginormous centrepieces... and cathedral length veils), what I'll remember of that day is not what brand my shoes were, but how I danced in them 'till all hours in the morning with all my favoritest people in the world!
MissPurple...that really does make me feel better....UR SOOO RIGHT what matters is how much fun and how much of a great memory that night will be not the $150 tiara with SWAROVSKI crystals.........
hmm.. this thread is a very good topic. I've never felt the need to ask my fiance if I could buy shoes. I work, so I feel like I have the right to buy whatever shoes I want. Our finances are not linked now, but we will definitely discuss major purchases once we are married, but I gotta say, I didn't think twice about my wedding manolos. (which were on sale ... are gold, so no just wedding shoes).
I ended up winning some bridal shoes!!! From Weddingbee!! How funny is that!! And I met Mrs. Bee who ended up telling me herself after she realized I was mIssPodo!! hahahah
Lastnight our pillow talk session went something like this.....
Me: "So I was thinking since wedding photographers take pics of the bride's shoes....I was going to get some Manolo's or Choo's....whatdya think?"
MrPodo: "Those are the ones on Sex & the City....I know those..."
Me: "Wow you do? Nice~ so....I wanna get em"
Mr Podo: "Yeah get em....how much are they?" He looks over at me and I can see the white of his eyes in the dark...
Me Podo: "Ummmm.....ummmmm....lemme think.....hmmmmm....not thaaat much....yeah I'm gonna get em....
"
Mr Podo: "How much?......"
Me Podo: "Ummmm............................like five...?" I look over at him..
Mr Podo: "Like 5 hundred?? 500? NO THANK NO THANK YOU BERRY MUCH!"
Me:
He's probably right...I am wearing them once....or am I? I could dye them black later and where them out!!! So....is it wrong of me to go ahead and buy them?? We just got a JOINT account....ddoh!!
posted by MissPodo 44 posts 6 months agoUm, yes, it would be wrong. $500 is a lot of money. FI and I will be making over $300k annually, together, and $500 is still a lot of money to us. You should probably have some agreement about either how much money each of you has to spend each month on anything you want, or at what dollar level you need to agree on a purchase. If you get $300 every month as "your money," and you want to go two months without lattes and manicures to get your Manolos, that's fair. Same for him - you don't want him going out and ordering a new $500 putter, after you just told him you think it's too much money, do you? Especially if he pays out of the joint account, and later that month your debit card won't go through at Safeway when you have a cart full of groceries... Compromise and teamwork - and if you want to spend anything you want on shoes, whenever you feel like it, give the ring back and get your own apartment!
posted by suzanno 1,975 posts 6 months agoThe photos may include your shoes, but not the bottoms and not the label. Find a pair of shoes that are reasonably priced that you love. No one looks at the pictures and says -- "aren't those shoes lovely, oh, but they are not Choo's, what was that bride thinking?"
posted by caliocteach 720 posts 6 months agoI agree with both suzanno and calioteach. It seems like it would be a bad idea to break trust by spending such a sum when you were asked not to. And, no one really is going to pay attention to the shoes. It's a great idea to look for a style you like in a similar shoe, or to maybe even borrow a cute pair from a friend who has name brand shoes if that it what you want. You could kill two birds with one stone-killer shoes and something borrowed:)
posted by ErinMarieMack 263 posts 6 months agoWhat about borrowing them from a service? Try www.luckyyoushoes.com
They have several of the bigger names and they are running a special until the end of June so it is only $50 to borrow them. It looks like they are relatively new so the selection isn't great but it might be worth a shot!
posted by nmn838 35 posts 6 months agoSay you do get the shoes, and it starts a huge fight, and then you get your dream wedding shoe photo. Do you really want that photo reminding you of your biggest wedding fight?
posted by snmcdowell 467 posts 6 months agothese ladies have all made fantastic points.
also, as far as dying them later... really? i somehow the expensive, designer feel would be lost somehow if you'd dyed them.
posted by melodicsighs1 86 posts 6 months agoITA with all the commenters above. They brought up really great points.
posted by JCM9608 470 posts 6 months agoAww man, as soon as I read "So....is it wrong of me to go ahead and buy them??" I was like DON'T DO IT! A marriage should not be about just going out and getting something just because you want it...especially when it is that expensive. A good marriage needs to have good communication and to me that's just not how I think you should start out your marriage together, is it really worth a pair of shoes? There are plenty of nice shoes out there and I guarantee you will be able to find a cheaper pair that looks very similar. Maybe post a picture on here and see if anyone can help you find similar shoes.
posted by Lillindy 279 posts 6 months ago
Maaa baaaaad......All of you are right! I was having a materialistic moment all b/c the brand HO in me came out....but she's gone now....really...she is....so I will follow the wonderfully logical advice...thanks again for preventing a fight...snmcdowell...good point about the shoe pic..haha...
posted by MissPodo 44 posts 6 months agoHey MissPodo, don't feel bad. It's really hard to not get caught up in the whole designer shoe thing... I'm guilty of it myself! I give myself a few moments to gush and then tell myself that although those all those photos of Louboutins are lovely (and swarovski tiaras... and customized aisle runners... and ginormous centrepieces... and cathedral length veils), what I'll remember of that day is not what brand my shoes were, but how I danced in them 'till all hours in the morning with all my favoritest people in the world!
posted by MissPurple 31 posts 6 months agoMissPurple...that really does make me feel better....UR SOOO RIGHT what matters is how much fun and how much of a great memory that night will be not the $150 tiara with SWAROVSKI crystals.........
posted by MissPodo 44 posts 6 months agohmm.. this thread is a very good topic. I've never felt the need to ask my fiance if I could buy shoes. I work, so I feel like I have the right to buy whatever shoes I want. Our finances are not linked now, but we will definitely discuss major purchases once we are married, but I gotta say, I didn't think twice about my wedding manolos. (which were on sale ... are gold, so no just wedding shoes).
posted by katiethelady 163 posts 6 months agooh and PS MissPodo, good luck finding shoes that you LOVE, regardless of the tag :)
posted by katiethelady 163 posts 6 months agoI ended up winning some bridal shoes!!! From Weddingbee!! How funny is that!! And I met Mrs. Bee who ended up telling me herself after she realized I was mIssPodo!! hahahah
posted by MissPodo 44 posts 6 months ago